randuff Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 As the title says.... So quick background. I was her rebound, I came to that conclusion. She was in a 4 year relationship that was not very ideal. Near the end I "helped" her call it off with her ex. By helped her I asked why she was in a relationship she admittedly knew was dead. Anyways, I fell for her. Hard. We were hot and heavy for 3 months (I know, I know it was such a short time) and I fell in love. There are so many reasons for us NOT to be together primarily the 19 year age gap. We are in much different points in our lives. But the heart feels what it feels.... Or does it? Was this a huge infatuation instead??? I started no contact yesterday. I only speak to her when it involves a work related issue. We used to smoke together but I made it a point to wait until I saw she was done before I went out myself. Today I get a text from her which basically says : "I don't know why you're acting the way that you are. You can hate me, never talk to me again and act like I'm the plague, it doesn't matter to me." Also she said she doesn't deserve for me to be a complete a hole to her at work or in any situation. I'm not being an a hole IMO, I am just not speaking to her unless it involves work. I don't think I owe her an explanation, do I?
Jules78 Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 As the title says.... So quick background. I was her rebound, I came to that conclusion. She was in a 4 year relationship that was not very ideal. Near the end I "helped" her call it off with her ex. By helped her I asked why she was in a relationship she admittedly knew was dead. Anyways, I fell for her. Hard. We were hot and heavy for 3 months (I know, I know it was such a short time) and I fell in love. There are so many reasons for us NOT to be together primarily the 19 year age gap. We are in much different points in our lives. But the heart feels what it feels.... Or does it? Was this a huge infatuation instead??? I started no contact yesterday. I only speak to her when it involves a work related issue. We used to smoke together but I made it a point to wait until I saw she was done before I went out myself. Today I get a text from her which basically says : "I don't know why you're acting the way that you are. You can hate me, never talk to me again and act like I'm the plague, it doesn't matter to me." Also she said she doesn't deserve for me to be a complete a hole to her at work or in any situation. I'm not being an a hole IMO, I am just not speaking to her unless it involves work. I don't think I owe her an explanation, do I? I am probably the wrong one to answer this since I am a girl who would give anything to hear from her ex to know that he still cares even though we both know it's over. It hurts to be ignored by someone you thought cared about you. But on the other hand, what will it accomplish for you? Probably not much. It's tough since y'all work together. Seems like a quit chat would be easier. ?
hrtblds2ez Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 I think you have to do whatever you have to do to heal. If she broke it off with you then hey, she has to know that you are hurting and should understand you limiting conversation to only work related issues. I know about working together and it is really tough. I try to leave emotions at home but they raise their ugly head at any given unannounced moment so keeping them in check is important. I say do what you're doing, keep all talk work related. And when she creates small talk, keep it simple and short. Outside of work my ex has initiated all contact for the past 2 weeks, and even that has me confused.
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