MoooOinkBaaa Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 Does anyone who got dumped feel like you wasted a long time of your life? Apparently my ex thinks she wasted seven years because of me which makes me angry - she was the one who dumped me! I wish she had done it much earlier so I could of been out meeting someone else I feel too old now at 26, everyone's already settled down. I trusted this person 100% and thought we would grow old and blah blah blah.
emi Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 yea i did. i completely regret i let him into my life and ruin it
Philosoraptor Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 After about the first 6 months I feel like I wasted a lot of time. It was pretty much doing the same thing and expecting different results. Waste of time. 1
Author MoooOinkBaaa Posted November 22, 2013 Author Posted November 22, 2013 Read your threads. Philosoraptor what's it like being dumped after six months compared to five years and also compared to the second love? I heard it's easier the second time around because you've dealt with it before. I regret letting my ex into my life too, I turned down so many opportunities to be with her from other women to jobs to school. She changed who she was just to be with me and then dumped me and changed back to who she really is. Started smoking, drinking a lot, swearing. Her integrity went out the window. She says I held her back and it was a waste for her. I showed my mum our last e-mails together during the time my ex apparently had doubts. My mum said if that's my worst she doesn't deserve my best at all.
Philosoraptor Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 Well it was a waste after 6 months and it finally ended after 5 years. I felt like I wasted about 4.5 years of my life doing the same things over and over and hoping things would get better. 1
d0nnivain Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 I was with somebody for 12 years. I official dumped him but only after I finally realized that he wasn't kidding when he said he didn't want to marry me. I didn't meet my husband until I was 39, married at 41. Basically I gave up my childbearing years to the guy who didn't want me. I do regret that but I also understand that maybe I wasn't meant to be a parent. After the hurt goes away, you should be able to look back & find something positive out of the time you spent together. I learned a lot from that EX & a lot of the experiences I had with him shaped who I am today. 2
Confusedguy81 Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 You are not too old; it just feels that way because you are basically starting over. It's better that she atleast ended it before getting married and really screwing you over. Have to look at the positives that people find their significant others at a variety of ages.
mtnbiker3000 Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 I wish she had done it much earlier so I could of been out meeting someone else I feel too old now at 26, everyone's already settled down. LOL!! Well if 26 is too old, then just shoot me 4
Logan oO Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 Does anyone who got dumped feel like you wasted a long time of your life? Apparently my ex thinks she wasted seven years because of me which makes me angry - she was the one who dumped me! I wish she had done it much earlier so I could of been out meeting someone else I feel too old now at 26, everyone's already settled down. I trusted this person 100% and thought we would grow old and blah blah blah. Brother, believe me i'm 28 and recently felt that way, 'i'm getting old, and everyone is settling down' blablabla. Truth is you and i are both still young! Anyone who says that is just trying to hurt you, and wouldn't of been with you that long in the first place if they felt that way. It's just post relationship hate. Don't read into it dude. I thought the same but i've realized, i've become who i am and grown up more since being in such a hard relationship. Basically if you can put up with all the crap from one relationship that made you want to tear out your own hair lol, then anything else has got to be a darn sight easier
ShakeItLikeAGiovanna Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 I know how you feel man. Im still hurting from a break up. I am the dumpee to and it sucks big time. You're still young and very handsome. You WILL find another, better woman for you. And that ex of your WILL come crawling back once she realize the diamond she lost .
tjr Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 Hmm waste no. We never truly know what we are getting into, sometimes results arent what we wanted but never a waste. If you give up things to be where you are you had to atleast at that point felt it was worth it, so no not a waste. Yes somethings will be the all or nothing route eg) kids for gals. You only get so long to have them. But as long as your honest with yourself those choices will determin if its worth staying or going. Sometimes you get burned, but thats mostly from yourself not being true with what you wanted, or hoping the other would want it in time. Many things are happening later in life, marriage, kids so there is time to settle down reguardless. And there are always alternatives to situations that may have passed.
BC1980 Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 Well it was a waste after 6 months and it finally ended after 5 years. I felt like I wasted about 4.5 years of my life doing the same things over and over and hoping things would get better. I feel like the last 2 years were the same for me. Hoping for a different result when it was clear what I was dealing with. I can't say it was a waste because it has taught me to listen to my instincts. I don't know that I would have done anything differently though because I was so deep into the situation. But I definitely felt like if was a waste in the beginning. I think those feelings can fade over time as the anger subsides and you let go. Everyone processes it differently.
organizedchaos Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 Does anyone who got dumped feel like you wasted a long time of your life? Apparently my ex thinks she wasted seven years because of me which makes me angry - she was the one who dumped me! I wish she had done it much earlier so I could of been out meeting someone else I feel too old now at 26, everyone's already settled down. I trusted this person 100% and thought we would grow old and blah blah blah. Haha, funniest thing I've read all week. I'm 42. You are nowhere near too old. 2
BC1980 Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 I was with somebody for 12 years. I official dumped him but only after I finally realized that he wasn't kidding when he said he didn't want to marry me. I didn't meet my husband until I was 39, married at 41. Basically I gave up my childbearing years to the guy who didn't want me. I do regret that but I also understand that maybe I wasn't meant to be a parent. After the hurt goes away, you should be able to look back & find something positive out of the time you spent together. I learned a lot from that EX & a lot of the experiences I had with him shaped who I am today. I feel old at 32. I will be 33 next month. The ex's sister wasted 6 years on someone then got married at 36. So it's never too late for love. I do believe that. 1
mtnbiker3000 Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 Haha, funniest thing I've read all week. I'm 42. You are nowhere near too old. 3 cheers for the 42 year olds 3
mtnbiker3000 Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 This was something I discussed early on when I started therapy. And my therapist was very clear in explaining that a failed RS is absolutely not a waste. It has taught you so many valuable lessons about yourself and others. I think it is easy to feel like you wasted time, but you didn't. Everything happens for a reason. This experience will make you better, smarter and stronger for the next. Simple as that. So how could it be a waste? 1
Philosoraptor Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 I feel like the last 2 years were the same for me. Hoping for a different result when it was clear what I was dealing with. I can't say it was a waste because it has taught me to listen to my instincts. I don't know that I would have done anything differently though because I was so deep into the situation. But I definitely felt like if was a waste in the beginning. I think those feelings can fade over time as the anger subsides and you let go. Everyone processes it differently. Well I haven't been upset about it in years, just feel like I could have done so much more and been much happier had I not had that dead weight attached to me for that long. Wasted my life on someone who wanted to be miserable. I'll never said I didn't learn anything nor ever want to change things, as without things happening the way they did when they did I'd likely not have met my lovely fiancee. But yea, wasted a lot of my time when I could have been doing a lot more.
headinthecloud Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 Too old at 26!! Most people that I know didnt settle down until their 30s. You're young. Enjoy. Explore. Let her go. It doesn't matter what she thinks anymore. Only you matter. NC!!! If you want to build a life with someone then look for someone who wants that too. She's out there, and she's looking for you too. 1
Grumpybutfun Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 Moon: Your ex was just saying junk to you to hurt you. Regret doesn't negate the positives, nor does it diminish the negatives. It is a pretty useless tool, imo. You both probably learned a lot and enjoyed some of the time you spent together until the end. Maybe it just helps her to move on to say these things to you. Seems fairly selfish to me, but then break-ups are rarely pretty. I never even thought about having a serious relationship until your age so you are not too old for love at all. G
Haydn Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 Moo, Its not a waste, you learned a few things, who else is going to teach you the hard things but someone you loved. Chin up. Take care.
mtnbiker3000 Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 Maybe it just helps her to move on to say these things to you. Seems fairly selfish to me, but then break-ups are rarely pretty. Yeah, my ex 'villanized' me too. Said stupid things that I didn't even understand. I think dumpers do this to help solidify their decision, especially when they are not sure about it. Think about it. As a dumper, wouldn't it be easier to dump someone who is terrible? So, they make you terrible in their mind. It's not reality or a true reflection of you, or the RS.
organizedchaos Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 Too old at 26!! Most people that I know didnt settle down until their 30s. You're young. Enjoy. Explore. Let her go. It doesn't matter what she thinks anymore. Only you matter. NC!!! If you want to build a life with someone then look for someone who wants that too. She's out there, and she's looking for you too. Exactly. I didn't even get married until I was 30. ENJOY your 20's. People should NOT get married before 30 IMO.
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