Helena Cornelia Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 hi. i'm in realtionship with this guy 3 years with break ups. he cheated on me twice, a was cheated once but he doesn't know that. when we started dating i didn't want sex even if i had had it before, but i didn't want hurry. he slept with other girl, i found out from sms. he said he's sorry lalala i forgave. one year later, we had terrible fight, he went out and kissed a girl. i found out half a year later(form sms again) and left him. he contacted me very often, searching for another chance, but i was strong. and mad. i found out ,too, that he was talking with friends that he will cheat on me, how he would like to f*ck that and that girl, that i'm too jealous etc.. i didn't at all. however, we started dating again and i slept with other, i wanted revenge. he never found out. after that, we both calmed down and we were closer than ever before. but i cannot forget that things. i don't trust him. what if he do it again? maybe he won't cheat, but texting other girls, or even talking about cheating..
DrSimple Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 Never contact this man again. This is not a healthy relationship. You both are seeking something from each other that you can't give. If he cheats on you and comes back, he wants that power over you. If you cheat for revenge then it isn't working. Take off those rose coloured glasses. 1
Philosoraptor Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 Why is he still your boyfriend? This relationship is fractured and needs to end. You're both cheaters and liars... well maybe you belong together?
devastated777 Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 Try a book called Mr. Unavailable and the fallback girl. I think that's the name. It's on Amazon and It's the 8th book I'm on. Trust me girl, you're in a no win. you will also learn a lot about yourself.
2fargone Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 My mom always told me to stay away from people like you... 1
Zahara Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 You both cheat on each other and you're asking how do you trust?
BlessYourCottonSocks Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 Honey, you both are immature, liars and cheaters. How could you expect him to change, when you won't? Revenge has nothing to do with love and fixing things. Why would you stoop down to his level? Why would you throw away your self worth to get back at him? How shameful. You disrespected yourself, you gave up your body for other men to make your cheating boyfriend jealous.... The best thing you could do, because obviously this relationship isn't making you a better person, is leave.
PegNosePete Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 i don't trust him. what if he do it again? Well, most likely you'd just forgive him again. You did twice after all, why not 3 times? See this is the trouble with "forgiving". He has seen you forgive him twice. He has no reason to think he won't get away with it again. And you cheated on him too.......... Really you two clearly don't love each other. You should just both move on and find people you actually WANT to be faithful to.
Author Helena Cornelia Posted November 22, 2013 Author Posted November 22, 2013 no, it's not the same. i was weak, it was moment of weakness, and most of all i was mad and insecure. but i do love him. however, i asked for advice, not judging. but thanks anyway
Zahara Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 no, it's not the same. i was weak, it was moment of weakness, and most of all i was mad and insecure. but i do love him. however, i asked for advice, not judging. but thanks anyway This isn't love. Love doesn't cheat.If you love someone the last thing you want to do is have someone's penis in you. Why? Because with love comes loyalty. With loyalty comes commitment. "Love" isn't enough. He has cheated several times and you've always taken him back. What's the lesson here? You've taught him that cheating is tolerated because everytime he does it, you will accept him back. There is no consequence to his bad behavior. So, why would he stop? He'll do it again because Helena will look past it and take me back again. As for you, revenge and being weak aren't reasons to cheat. If that's how you're going to deal with your anger, insecurities and your impulses, you shouldn't be in a relationship. Both of you are emotionally immature to handle commitment. 1
JBird2001 Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 This sounds like a dysfunctional relationship. Also, Helena, you sound like you're relatively young. I think you should take some time to mature a little bit before getting into another relationship. Cheating on a boyfriend to "get back at him" is petty and immature. You're just setting yourself up for a lifetime of unhappiness.
Author Helena Cornelia Posted November 22, 2013 Author Posted November 22, 2013 i'm 23, it happened 2 years ago
Kizza Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 People who truly care for, respect and love each other would not do what you 2 are doing to one another. This relationship has been tarnished and I do not think it can be saved. Time to move on and find someone you wouldn't dream of cheating on because you love him so damn much.
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