devastated777 Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 (edited) In summary here: Met ex near two years ago. We were "soulmates" (yeah riiight). Once the dopamine wore off, I began to see who he really was. the last two weeks, he started falsely accusing me of cheating and stressing his "concern" about how I just don't act like I love him anymore. gave me two days to move out while he went out of town. Moved out, he came over a week later for a final shag then the next day sent me a pic of some girl he is now seeing, which after breaking NC (I know dumb me) with his sister because she called me to check on me. She is blown away, along with others because he went overboard about how much he loved me with everyone. He had me on a pedestal, as I did him. After answering her call and digesting everything he has been saying, I am absolutely furious. He told her he had hotel receipts that I was cheating with my bosses son-in-law, who happens to be young enough to be my son. We work together and its a small company. We never even spent a night away from each other. Nonetheless, I am floored by all the lies he is having to tell people. I haven't had to say one word about him nor have I felt like I needed to . He is a drug user and I was helping him with this issue the last couple of months. Not sure if that drove him away? I wasn't judgmental or pushy, I tired to be encouraging. His sister knows about the drugs but knows that since he is a successful business owner that no one would believe it. I really don't want to stoop but I am freaking out about how he is spreading lies. KNOWING himself they are lies. I am shocked too about how someone who was so sweet and kind has turned so vile. I am thinking about posting some truths on Angieslist about this but I know I will regret it? Or should I? Please help and advise. I am on pure adrenaline and emotion because I am so pissed, shocked, hurt, appalled, amazed, dumbfounded:confused: He even told his sister that I was no friend to her and I loved her. He knows this because he wasn't even speaking to her over some family issues and when he talked about it to me I told him she was his sister and to just let it go. I cannot believe this is happening. Edited November 22, 2013 by devastated777 add
tjr Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 Being the center of lies sucks on so many levels. The best you can do is if someone directly asks depending on your relationship with them just simply say it is a lie, tell them you appreciate their consern but its not their business, and to not pass it on. Of course we are all gossip hounds as much as we say other wise, so things will be said. The reality is you know the truth and have no need to justify it to others. And people believe what they want even if the truth is right in front of them. Gl and sorry he feels he needs to be a "victim" to hide his own issues.
Trapp-er Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 I'm sorry you are going through this. It's tough when someone you love(d) acts out against you. I hope things start to turn around and that you can be okay with knowing the truth--even though it's contrary to the lies your ex is spreading. Me mentor's motto was: "Never, ever, ever, miss an opportunity to take the high road." By that, he didn't mean roll over and take a beating. Rather, he meant to try to exercise compassion and kindness for those who's struggles lead them down the wrong path. Taking the high road is self serving, too. If you take the high road, years from now you will look back and be proud of yourself and have fewer/no regrets about how you handled the situation. If you stoop to someone else's level in the heat of the moment, you are stuck regretting having done so forever. Always act to minimize your regrets. And know that the truth will come out in the end. 1
Author devastated777 Posted November 25, 2013 Author Posted November 25, 2013 thanks so much for the words of wisdom. the high road I shall take. Thank you. 1
fixing Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 I agree with Trapper. Rise above that loser. Dont stoop to his sad pathetic level. The truth will always prevail in the end. Just wash your hands of this twerp and be done with it. Your better than him.
Balzac Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 He is a drug user and I was helping him with this issue the last couple of months. That's all I needed to read. Get yourself some help. Stop romancing nerdy projects. . Addicts lie. .
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