mishy Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 So after briefly dating a guy, and becoming friends, and a bit more, he went on holiday. When he came back after a couple of weeks, he emailed me, and then later on I texted him and I stupidly told him I thought about him a lot when he was away. And that I couldn't get him out of my head Yeah I know, stupid stupid stupid. He didnt say anything back so The text conversation went like this after that: Me: aaaah I said too much? Him: that's a line from a song Me: yeah the song is called " the girl who makes a fool of herself by telling a guy how she feels and he doesn't say anything in response" Him: ha ha sucker. Lol And that was it. He won't talk to me now, it's been over 24 hours and he will not say anything to me. The sucker comment...... What is that? He hates me right? What do I do?
d0nnivain Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 He doesn't hate. It's ONLY been 24 hours. Back off. Let him come to you but for now keep yourself busy. 5
Kate9292 Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 Maybe he thought he's the sucker for not saying anything back? Chin up, girl, you'll be alright :hugs: If he really meant it, he isn't worth it. 4
Author mishy Posted November 22, 2013 Author Posted November 22, 2013 I am just in a panic..... Like I said that I had been thinking about him all the time, and I couldn't get him out of my head, and he said nothing back, just silence and I feel like I out it all out there which was dumb and risky, and he can't even make a comment, except for the sucker comment....so he has run away scared him right off, and it's just made me panic
Author mishy Posted November 22, 2013 Author Posted November 22, 2013 No I took it to mean I was teh sucker, yeah I'm pretty sure he meant me. We do talk like that to each other though as a joke, call each other names But after the sucker comment he just vanished, won't reply to me, nothing.... 1
Leigh 87 Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 Guys that are crazy about a girl will be the ones to tell THE GIRL that they are missing them. It is a big deal that he has not responded. If he was really into her, he would have told her " me too". It is better to stay alone, Mishy, than to settle for a guy who is not head over heels for you. It can take years for some people to find this, but it can happen to you, too. Move on. I know it is hard for you, you seem like a nice person Mishy, pehaps try joining more dating sites? Try meet ups, put yourself out there more...? 8
Leigh 87 Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 I am just in a panic..... Like I said that I had been thinking about him all the time, and I couldn't get him out of my head, and he said nothing back, just silence and I feel like I out it all out there which was dumb and risky, and he can't even make a comment, except for the sucker comment....so he has run away scared him right off, and it's just made me panic I think he was awful. At WORST, he should have at LEAST had the decency to say " aww that is sweet.. Look, Mishy, I enjoy spending time with you, but I don't really feel that way about you". Silence is not the actions of a truly nice person. Nice people with loads of empathy would at least not make you feel like a loser.... 6
Iguanna Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 We shouldn't hide our feelings cause there are people who can't deal with theirs and express them. We should go on expressing our true feelings even if we would have to feel embarrassed a million times, cause there will be one person one who will appreciate out honesty and that person will definitely be a keeper. It's better to regret for things you did than for things you didn't do. 10
Author mishy Posted November 22, 2013 Author Posted November 22, 2013 I think he was awful. At WORST, he should have at LEAST had the decency to say " aww that is sweet.. Look, Mishy, I enjoy spending time with you, but I don't really feel that way about you". Silence is not the actions of a truly nice person. Nice people with loads of empathy would at least not make you feel like a loser.... That's exactly the thing Leigh. Silence to me doesn't communicate anything. It's gutless. It's non committal. If he had just responded yesterday and said yeah that's nice but I don't really think about you at all much, then that would have been way better than TORTURING me with the silent treatment.
Janesays Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 With silence, he is saying everything you need to know. 9
Leigh 87 Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 Mishy, I am a person who is totally FULL Of empathy. Sadly, most people are not like you and I.... I really do not get how people can NOT react to a clear message. It is CLEAR what you had to say to this man. I am so sorry to hear that you're not feeling that great about all this, I would certainly feel let down. Get back up, cheer up You know this guy is NOT worth your time. 3
Author mishy Posted November 22, 2013 Author Posted November 22, 2013 Mishy, I am a person who is totally FULL Of empathy. Sadly, most people are not like you and I.... I really do not get how people can NOT react to a clear message. It is CLEAR what you had to say to this man. I am so sorry to hear that you're not feeling that great about all this, I would certainly feel let down. Get back up, cheer up You know this guy is NOT worth your time. Yeah it was pretty black and white, probably a bit intense. YEAH the silence,well it's not the first time he has vanished, but still I don't know if he is deliberately blanking me and trying to shake me off by not responding. I even said to him, you know honestly I'd rather hear something bad instead of silence but he still didn't reply... So I give up 1
Zahara Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 Yeah it was pretty black and white, probably a bit intense. YEAH the silence,well it's not the first time he has vanished, but still I don't know if he is deliberately blanking me and trying to shake me off by not responding. I even said to him, you know honestly I'd rather hear something bad instead of silence but he still didn't reply... So I give up You put yourself out there and it wasn't the outcome you had expected. Don't beat yourself up about it. We've all done it. I remember dating a guy and the second month, after he came back from a work trip, I said to him, "I missed you, it was hard." And this was face to face. Ugh. And he said, "Oh, you did?" And then he snickered uncomfortably. Facepalm. Safe to say it went belly up after that. The guy may have been caught off guard and didn't know how to respond. Or it could just be that he wasn't feeling the same way as you were feeling and couldn't respond appropriately. Maybe your emotional investment in him was a little too much and he freaked. You didn't do anything wrong. But you do have to take heed of him vanishing on you. That isn't a good sign and you may want to rethink how much more investment you want with this guy if he's been disappearing on you. Maybe he'll call, maybe he won't. Either way, you set the ball rolling for what's ahead. Good or bad, you can move forward. 5
Gottabestrong Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 The sucker comment...... What is that? He hates me right? What do I do? Haha, you are a bit dramatic. I highly doubt that he hates you. But I think he might not be very interested in you. Sorry.
Author mishy Posted November 22, 2013 Author Posted November 22, 2013 You put yourself out there and it wasn't the outcome you had expected. Don't beat yourself up about it. We've all done it. I remember dating a guy and the second month, after he came back from a work trip, I said to him, "I missed you, it was hard." And this was face to face. Ugh. And he said, "Oh, you did?" And then he snickered uncomfortably. Facepalm. Safe to say it went belly up after that. The guy may have been caught off guard and didn't know how to respond. Or it could just be that he wasn't feeling the same way as you were feeling and couldn't respond appropriately. Maybe your emotional investment in him was a little too much and he freaked. You didn't do anything wrong. But you do have to take heed of him vanishing on you. That isn't a good sign and you may want to rethink how much more investment you want with this guy if he's been disappearing on you. Maybe he'll call, maybe he won't. Either way, you set the ball rolling for what's ahead. Good or bad, you can move forward. I have definitely been beating myself up about it, been cursing myself since I said it, I really feel like a dumb idiot. He has disappeared for 2 or 3 days before, he has a habit of occasionally only checking his phone every few days, so it's harder because I don't know if the silence is just him not checking his phone, or it's silence because he doesn't want to hear from me. So I can't even have any resolution on it...
Zahara Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 I have definitely been beating myself up about it, been cursing myself since I said it, I really feel like a dumb idiot. He has disappeared for 2 or 3 days before, he has a habit of occasionally only checking his phone every few days, so it's harder because I don't know if the silence is just him not checking his phone, or it's silence because he doesn't want to hear from me. So I can't even have any resolution on it... If I am interested in someone, and I know the only way to communicate is through phone, I would be checking my phone and USING it to communicate with you. I'd break the habit of not checking my phone because I would be looking forward to hearing from you. I would anticipate contact. So, that's not a good sign as well. I think its an excuse. Silence is your resolution. Someone that is into you, doesn't go silent on you. 5
Author mishy Posted November 23, 2013 Author Posted November 23, 2013 I was just reading another thread where someone who is getting teh fade out is going to write a text saying she is moving on etc all the best. I am just wondering if I should write Something along the lines of " it seems like you don't want contact, that's okay I'll move on, all the best with everything"
Titania22 Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 Mishy, I understand, I am the same way as you. His response to you was just rude. Don't waste another word on him. On the bright side, you found out he doesn't care for you. It's time to do whatever you need to, to let him go and move on.
Kizza Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 You not an idiot. You are brave to say how you felt and got your answer sooner rather than before too late. His saying haha sucker was insensitive. If he had feelings that reciprocated yours he would have not answered like that. Just think, you saved yourself a whole bunch of wondering by being forthright and for that you are pretty amazing. Keep with that because one day a very relieved guy will return your feelings and you just may start a wonderful relationship with open honesty from the beginning. No hiding 1
Jame22 Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 (edited) We shouldn't hide our feelings cause there are people who can't deal with theirs and express them. We should go on expressing our true feelings even if we would have to feel embarrassed a million times, cause there will be one person one who will appreciate out honesty and that person will definitely be a keeper. It's better to regret for things you did than for things you didn't do. I strongly disagree. Opening up too soon will get you no where. You have to play the game unless youre willing to settle. I do agree with "it's better to regret things you did than for things you didn't do."...but save these actions for a later time, when the person has shown some sort of interest. Edited November 23, 2013 by Jame22 1
Author mishy Posted November 23, 2013 Author Posted November 23, 2013 Well, I thanks everyone for being so nice, this guy has made me cry! Pretty much everyone will say I shouldn't have done this, but I sent a goodbye text about half an our ago. More for myself than him, to draw a line in the sand. Anyway it's done, it's sent, doesn't really matter, here's what I wrote: "Ok , I will take it that you don't want contact. Sorry for telling you about my feelings for you, I will move on, it was nice to meet you and all the best for the future. Next time you want to cut things off, just tell the girl rather than ignore, it's just saves time and anguish. Best of luck (insert name)."
Blade96 Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 So after briefly dating a guy, and becoming friends, and a bit more, he went on holiday. When he came back after a couple of weeks, he emailed me, and then later on I texted him and I stupidly told him I thought about him a lot when he was away. And that I couldn't get him out of my head Yeah I know, stupid stupid stupid. He didnt say anything back so The text conversation went like this after that: Me: aaaah I said too much? Him: that's a line from a song Me: yeah the song is called " the girl who makes a fool of herself by telling a guy how she feels and he doesn't say anything in response" Him: ha ha sucker. Lol And that was it. He won't talk to me now, it's been over 24 hours and he will not say anything to me. The sucker comment...... What is that? He hates me right? What do I do? Awwww, I think you're cute. And he is immature. You just told your date of several weeks that you're really starting to like him. And he comes up with that????
Author mishy Posted November 23, 2013 Author Posted November 23, 2013 Awwww, I think you're cute. And he is immature. You just told your date of several weeks that you're really starting to like him. And he comes up with that???? Yep, my little heart snapped in two
OpheliaSong Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 He was rude in his reply. What you said was really sweet.
Blade96 Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 Yep, my little heart snapped in two well you just don't mind him and just be your own little cute self.
Recommended Posts