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How to get over it? Feeling like a terrible person

Eclypse

By Eclypse
in Coping

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Eclypse Established Member

Eclypse

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I've had a very intense emotional affair for the past few weeks. I'd been so confused about my relationship with my girlfriend. We were each other's first loves and it just seemed like things weren't going right. We had so many little issues. I started talking to a friend, and it just seemed like she got everything about me. We've been friends for years, and always had this intense chemistry. She fell hard for me, and I developed strong feelings toward her.

 

We met up one night, and had a wonderful evening. We didn't have sex though. I realised that I couldn't keep it up. I met up with my girlfriend, intent on having a very deep, honest conversation and possibly breaking up. I told her everything... and I realised I couldn't do it. I couldn't break up with her, she was so sweet today. We have so much invested in each other. She accepted everything I said and forgave me. I told my friend I couldn't be with her.

 

I've lost a good friend now, and it's all my fault. I got in too deep. I can't believe I let it get this far. She's a very sweet girl and she doesn't deserve this. I hurt her. I hurt my girlfriend too. I've hurt all the people I care about. I thought id feel better after having made a firm decision. But why do I feel so bad? Everything just seems so gray. I love my gf, but I developed serious feelings for my friend. And now I've lost her. I'm typing this as I lie in my gfs bed. She's the one I want to be with.... but getting over my friend will be so hard.

Edited by Eclypse
Edit: that embarrassed face wasn't meant to be in the title
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Philosoraptor Established Member

Philosoraptor

Posted
Posted

Brother, you've been given the gift... the opportunity to right a wrong. You can regret your past decisions, but it will do you no good to suffer behind them when you could be doing things to make your current relationship better. How about doing something nice for your girlfriend whenever you feel bad about the past? Not only are you putting your focus on now versus the past, but you're also helping build a happier and more pleasant relationship.

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