Mz_sassy_77 Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 I have taken this BU hard, as we all do. It's so crazy because I know it wasn't a good RS for me and everyone always tells me how much better off I am. Logically I know that is right but I miss him still. I wish I could stop the thoughts that run through my head. I wonder to myself will I ever meet anyone else again? And even if I did the thought of getting to know someone new again just doesn't seem like something I want to do. I never want to go through this again. I got so attached and so used to having someone else there to do things with that now I feel I am at a loss on my own. I know I should get out and go to the gym and get a hobby but I just don't feel motivated to do anything. It's like I am going through the motions of life and not enjoying anything.
headinthecloud Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 What you're feeling is part of the depression phase of a BU. The feeling of "going through the motions" and being numb to the world is part of it. You MUST FIGHT THESE THOUGHTS...don't lay down!!! Get up. Walk out your door. Go to the gym when you don't want to. Grab a book and go to a coffee shop. Get out of the house. These thoughts and feelings will pass but you have to plod through them. You CAN do it. Believe in yourself. Remind yourself how wonderful you are and remember how happy you were when you were at your best in life. Strive to be that person again...or an even better version. You are responsible for your own happiness ...and happiness is choice, a state of mind. 1
Author Mz_sassy_77 Posted November 22, 2013 Author Posted November 22, 2013 I thought I was getting better. It's been 3 months and I am starting to feel that I am going backwards and not moving forward.
Jmk21 Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 We all take it hard. Is your ex still in your life by chance? at 3 months of nc most of us become a bit numb to the void that was left by them
headinthecloud Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 I have taken this BU hard, as we all do. It's so crazy because I know it wasn't a good RS for me and everyone always tells me how much better off I am. Logically I know that is right but I miss him still. I wish I could stop the thoughts that run through my head. I wonder to myself will I ever meet anyone else again? And even if I did the thought of getting to know someone new again just doesn't seem like something I want to do. I never want to go through this again. I got so attached and so used to having someone else there to do things with that now I feel I am at a loss on my own. I know I should get out and go to the gym and get a hobby but I just don't feel motivated to do anything. It's like I am going through the motions of life and not enjoying anything. I thought I was getting better. It's been 3 months and I am starting to feel that I am going backwards and not moving forward. The 3mos point is the worst. Same thing happened to me...it does pass. Keep fighting. 1
Author Mz_sassy_77 Posted November 22, 2013 Author Posted November 22, 2013 We all take it hard. Is your ex still in your life by chance? at 3 months of nc most of us become a bit numb to the void that was left by them No he's not. It's been over 2 months of no contact. I thought it would be best to cut all ties and communication. I am thinking of him less. I suppose I didn't realise just how hard it would be and the way it ended was a bit of a shock too.
Haydn Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 Hi, Its really hard the 3 month mark was the hardest for me. Now at 4 and i have been surfacing quite a lot. Yes those memories can take over and make you miss them so much its unbearable. You just have to stick with it. I have been constantly been focusing on all the negative things she brought to the relationship. And i believe i deserve better now. Keep fighting. Keep going. Just remember they didnt want you. Freedom. Take care. 2
va1975 Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 I am in the same position myself and it is so hard. I feel like I am at a standstill just going through the motions of everyday life and I'm struggling even doing that. I hope it gets better soon x
faithfully Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 Hey, i understand everything you said in ur post. I am feeling at that not so good stage after doing soo well and realising he was noo good for me but now the last 2 days i feel like ****tt and cant manage to stop thinking about him but am fighting it. Was doing soo good before and now this mehh. Chin up girl we will be alright. Pm me if u want sum1 that will listen and we can gossip about how useless they really are
devastated777 Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 Well that's discouraging. I have been NC for almost three weeks. This Sunday will be week 3. My breakup was a shock too but not really because He just wasn't finished showing me who he really was. I am going thru the gym thing now too. I hate being alone. It sucks. Too bad you aren't near me and we could go together! It is what it is. Unfortunately, we just have to ride this out but after book number 8, I'm pretty sure we will come out better people. Hang in there.
Author Mz_sassy_77 Posted November 23, 2013 Author Posted November 23, 2013 Thanks everyone. I always feel better hearing everyone's take on things. Nice to know I'm not crazy. I suppose I thought at 3 months he would be a distant memory and I would be a lot further on then I am. My EX has made it seem like he was soooo unhappy in the RS and now he is sooo happy he is free of me and us. i don't know if that's how he really feels or if that's just what he feels he needs to tell people. At the end of the day it doesn't matter i guess. Just need to keep moving forward.
OpheliaSong Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 I just went through a break-up with my bf of a year. I am just keeping busy, going out with my friends, hanging out with my parents and just reminding myself that I am on a search for a good guy who treats me nice. I am sorry you are hurting. I know how disappointing it can be when you put so much time into a relationship thinking they are "the one."
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