NoLeafClover Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 Basically we got setup through a mutual friend. Picked a place and time. She confirmed with me in advance. I got there a bit early. The place was full so I called her to see if she's there. Goes directly to her voicemail, but no voicemail is setup lol. So I decided to get a number and wait. A few minutes goes by, I found 2 empty seats near the bar. I settled in and texted her. Basically told her that I found a place at the bar. 30 minutes goes by. I called her and she didn't pick up. No voicemail is setup. Waited for about an Hour and 30 minutes. Then I decided to say **** this I don't have time for this and left. I texted her basically saying that I had to go to an early appointment in the morning (excuse) and that we could reschedule for another time. 3 hours later, I get a text from her saying that she feels awful and that there was a misunderstanding. Apparently she was messaging me on her new phone and she got no responses so she thought I couldn't make it (lol, but I was there the whole time and the place isn't very big). She got home and saw my messages on her old iphone............ (lol) She said she wants to reschedule and that drinks are on her next time lol. I don't even know how to respond to that... I'm a very forgiving person but this is the first time I have ever gotten stood up. It feels awful. Writing this makes me want to punch the wall but whatever, **** happens. I understand. But I want to hear from the LS community. What do you guys do in my situation. 2nd chance? Or just move on? My heart tells me to give her a 2nd chance because damn, I'm just a nice guy. But I've been screwed many times in the past and I feel like I need to play the "f you" card. Thoughts? This is what I would do. You let it marinate, don't setup a date but play along with yea sometime next week or what not. See how she acts, if she contacts you and if she is keeping tabs with you via text or phone or what not. If by the end of the week you feel like she has made up for it or made you feel comfortable that perhaps this was a mistake, then setup a date possibly on your terms. Forget about the drinks being on her BS comment. If you decide to reschedule, make sure you pay for the drinks so even if things dont click, you won't feel bad about letting her pay. Play this ball on your court cause you are the one who has to make a final decision about rescheduling at the end of the week. Just my .02 cents
Lansing Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 Based on these forums the failure rate of text messages is like 50% at least... In reality, I am guessing it is like 1% or less? I have had situations where girls have suggested getting together and then I respond that I am up for it, suggesting a time/place and I don't hear back. I think it is better to call and talk to a girl over the phone nowadays... too much BS via text and hard to interpret a person's true intentions (They can hide behind the text messages).
SJC2008 Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 Based on these forums the failure rate of text messages is like 50% at least... In reality, I am guessing it is like 1% or less? I have had situations where girls have suggested getting together and then I respond that I am up for it, suggesting a time/place and I don't hear back. I think it is better to call and talk to a girl over the phone nowadays... too much BS via text and hard to interpret a person's true intentions (They can hide behind the text messages). Lol @ the bold. Don't listen to the women here about xyz, they aren't the damsels in distress they portray themselves to be. If a soft spoken 18 year old can ask a man 13 years her senior (me) the last name of a customer who frequents our store so she can FB him, your girl could of gotten the message relayed to you by yalls friend. See what I mean?
CrystalCastles Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 It makes sense to an extent why she didn't show up. (Again, she kept messaging me but didn't hear back. But I never got the message. Maybe she was texting the wrong number LOL. And my phone is working perfectly fine). But I personally feel that if she had any interest she would have taken the time to show up and do a peek around. I agree with your decision. A wise one. Just want to point out. Supposing everything she's saying is true. If she wasn't getting your texts, she wouldn't want to go have a peek around. I know that if I was meeting a guy and wasn't getting any communication back, I wouldn't want to go to the place of meeting because I would assume he wouldn't be there. As for interest, she hasn't even met you yet! She is interested, otherwise she wouldn't have set up a meeting. But not so interested that she'd want to go, not having gotten any messages back. And that's ok because she hasn't had the chance to get to know you yet. She might have also gotten cold feet and made up an excuse. But don't assume the worst in people because as MalachiX said, that really narrows down your circle. Best of luck!
SJC2008 Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 . But don't assume the worst in people because as MalachiX said, that really narrows down your circle. Best of luck! Why shouldn't he assume the worst? How often does a cancelled date lead to another one? The last thing any man or women with half a brain or better wants to do is ruin a potential situation.
MalachiX Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 Why shouldn't he assume the worst? Because it makes your world smaller? Because it tends to make people unhappy and less likable to others? Because it's a waist of time? Or...perhaps most importantly...because he doesn't gain much by assuming the worst (maybe an extra hour of free time this Saturday night) but might gain a lot by giving her the benefit of the doubt (i.e. find a meaningful relationship). No one is telling him to move heaven and earth to see her again or propose the second they meet. We're just suggesting that it might be worth while if it doesn't screw with his schedule. If she flakes again that means that she's a jerk. It doesn't mean that he's a sucker.
Gottabestrong Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 Ok, after you posted your update Orange I will change my advice. It sounded to me like you had agreed on a date, time and place and when you went there she simply did not show up. But now it sounds to me like you agreed on all that a few days before the date and then she kept texting you but she never received a reply to her message. If that is true I totally understand why she did not show up. Though I am a bit confused because originally it sounded to me like she said she went to the date venue, did not see you there and so she left. Which is it? If she decided not to show up because you did not reply to her messages for a few days I totally understand. I ALWAYS confirm a date the day before or on the day before I get all dressed up and maybe travel for 40 minutes just to get stood up, and if someone did not reply to my texts for a few days I would absolutely assume he was no longer interested. If you believe that this is what happened (and your friend backs it up) I would totally give her another chance. Good luck!
Acacia98 Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 Apparently my friend said that she had texted me several times before our confirmed date and that she didn't get any responses from me so she figured I bailed or just lost "interest." (Lol what) Well that was certainly not the case because I only received one text from her asking to me confirm the date. Why didn't she just call you? Or is this a generational thing where the world will fall apart if people dial the number and wait to hear a voice on the other side?
Author OrangeSnack Posted November 23, 2013 Author Posted November 23, 2013 (edited) Well she hasn't responded to my text so NEXT! Nope. She texted me to confirm the date 5-6 hours before the date. I got her message and replied a few minutes later. I got there assuming she was there (I got there 5 minutes before) and the place was full. So i called her and it goes directly to her voicemail (but no voicemail was setup). I decide to grab a seat and do a browse around (no one sitting by themselves). So a few minutes goes by I found 2 empty spaces at the bar and I decide to claim it. I text her to tell her that I found two empty seats. I order my drink and I wait. 30 minutes goes by I call her (it rings for a few times and it goes to her voicemail that has not been setup) I wait another 15-30 more minutes until I decide to leave. But before I leave I did another walk around to see if she was there. As I am walking back to my car I text her and tell her that I hope things are okay and that I have to leave because I have an important meeting to attend to in the morning and that we can reschedule for another time. 3 hours later I get a text from her saying how awful she feels and that she's been texting me. She just got home and saw my texts on my old phone. She said we need to reschedule but didn't give me a specific date and that the drinks are on her next time. So in the morning I text her to see if Sunday evening works. No response. My friend of course apologized and told me there had been a misunderstanding and that would If I still would be interested in rescheduling. I said yes but so far nothing has happened. Honestly I thought it sounded like she did go to the venue but I didn't see her. The bar was nearby the entrance so I kept an eye bout for her. Plus there were no one sitting by themselves unless she was with a friend? But regardless she should have called me. I had full signal. It definitely sounded like (from my friend) she texted me throughout the day and I didn't respond (but I never got it!) so she didn't show up. The way I see it is that I tried and I gave it my all. Edited November 23, 2013 by OrangeSnack
Kate9292 Posted November 24, 2013 Posted November 24, 2013 So she did the same thing again? OK. Time for next one then. Definitely a lie.
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