another chance

[jbw]

hi

I want to share something. I met this wonderful woman back in sept. we went out on a couple of dates and really enjoyed each others company. eventually we slept together a few times. I started developing feelings while she maintained that she didn't want a relationship. she's a very busy executive assistant/producer for an entertainment lawyer in NYC, going through a divorce and a single mother.

 

While I'm also divorced I don't have custody of my two kids and I'm pretty much on my own. she has joint custody of her son. so as time went on we continued to hang out and have fun. even though she wasn't as available as I wanted her to be, I dealt with it. we would hang out once every other week. we'd exchange the occasional fb message or text. the time apart only fueled my desire to see her. last weekend I hadn't heard from her and I started getting nervous. eventually I heard from her, she told she was sick and really busy. finally on Monday I received a long message from her saying she was sorry she hadn't been available and that I was a great guy and that I deserved more than she could offer given her schedule.

 

I assured her that I was fine with her schedule and I wanted to continue hanging out with her. she told me I was a 'beautiful person' and that she still wanted to get to know me, but slowly. we agreed to meet the next evening. we work in the same building and I had to work early that day. on my way in I ran into her. she gave me the biggest warmest hug she had ever given me. she started crying saying she was so overwhelmed and that she was sorry she couldn't give me what I deserved.

 

I told her not to worry it would be ok. I asked her if she still wanted to see me, she said yes. so, here's the crux of the matter: I was so moved by her emotional display I sent her a couple pretty detailed texts about how special she was how she shouldn't be sad, how strong she was, how she was loved and capable of l

Edited November 23, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[2fargone]

hi

I want to share something. I met this wonderful woman back in sept. we went out on a couple of dates and really enjoyed each others company. eventually we slept together a few times. I started developing feelings while she maintained that she didn't want a relationship. she's a very busy executive assistant/producer for an entertainment lawyer in NYC, going through a divorce and a single mother. while I'm also divorced I don't have custody of my two kids and I'm pretty much on my own. she has joint custody of her son. so as time went on we continued to hang out and have fun. even though she wasn't as available as I wanted her to be, I dealt with it. we would hang out once every other week. we'd exchange the occasional fb message or text. the time apart only fueled my desire to see her. last weekend I hadn't heard from her and I started getting nervous. eventually I heard from her, she told she was sick and really busy. finally on Monday I received a long message from her saying she was sorry she hadn't been available and that I was a great guy and that I deserved more than she could offer given her schedule. I assured her that I was fine with her schedule and I wanted to continue hanging out with her. she told me I was a 'beautiful person' and that she still wanted to get to know me, but slowly. we agreed to meet the next evening. we work in the same building and I had to work early that day. on my way in I ran into her. she gave me the biggest warmest hug she had ever given me. she started crying saying she was so overwhelmed and that she was sorry she couldn't give me what I deserved. I told her not to worry it would be ok. I asked her if she still wanted to see me, she said yes. so, here's the crux of the matter: I was so moved by her emotional display I sent her a couple pretty detailed texts about how special she was how she shouldn't be sad, how strong she was, how she was loved and capable of l

 

 

 

Please make paragraphs... And finish the story.

[jbw]

love and that I wanted her and that I was there for her if she needed me. when I tried to contact her the next day, she asked if we could talk on the phone because she was still sick and tired. I asked if she could let me come through because I really wanted to see her. she responded by saying she 'couldnt do this' the next morning I texted asking if she was alright, she said she was but she was overwhelmed by me and that she ' couldn't take it' I immediately told her I understood and I would give her space. so, I feel pretty bad about upsetting her and being the cause of her stress. I would like to see her but I will not contact her. does anyone feel I have a chance another shot? anyone have advice or observations? thx...

[organizedchaos]

Yeah, the detailed texts pouring your heart out was a bad idea. You smothered her when she said she was stressed about her schedule and was looking to call it off. So you added pressure to her when you should have kept calm.

 

I guess all you can do is just step back, give space and see what happens.

[jbw]

yeah, organized thats exactly what I'm doing. it sucks because I honestly care about her. but I have to listen to what she needs. and I can't beat myself up anymore, I feel bad enough that we're not hanging out. I'm looking at it as an opportunity for growth. something of an expensive lesson...thanks for reading.