LifeWithoutMiMi Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 My background: 4 months ago, my ex gf dumped me due to my lack of commitment. Also, she was seeing and dating another guy within a month of our breakup. During our relationship, I admit that I was being selfish without willing to commit, and was not able to move from our relationship to another stage. Looking back, I somehow took her from granted (but not the main issue here), and I could have taken care of her more and done much better. I have kept strictly NC for almost 3 months, and that allowed me to realize the mistakes that I have done. If I have a second chance, I would want to reconcile and commit with her. After our breakup, my ex has removed her profile page from FB. That eased my NC process, which was good. However, three weeks ago, my ex reconnected from FB, and wrote something on her own status implicitly that she is not happy. I am sure that if my ex is happy about her new relationship, should would write this kind of thing on FB...This leads me think that she wasn't happy, but I didn't break NC after reading that. What I also saw what that her new BF kept "liking" her photos on FB. Am I thinking too much here? Anyway, I read in another forum that NC is best for the healing process and for moving on. However, after the healing process, if we want to attempt to reconcile with our ex, LC would be better. Is that true? I would like to hear some successful stories using LC after keeping NC for several months. My question: I agree that dumpees should not break NC. However, since my main issue is the lack of commitment, after 4 months of NC, should I initiate LC to see how she has been? By initiating LC, I want to communicate with her slowly, and to see how she has been. Then, if communication between us goes well, I would want to see if there are any chances of reconciliation. Or should I keep NC since she is still in her relationship with her new BF?
todreaminblue Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 I believe in this situation it should be her who reaches out to you and if she does it should be if she is single, seeing commitment is an issue she holds dear to her......deb 2
Simon Phoenix Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 No you shouldn't. deb summed it up nicely, but I also feel that you aren't recovered. And I also tend to think that if you are on here asking whether or not you should, you probably aren't ready to do it. 2
Author LifeWithoutMiMi Posted November 23, 2013 Author Posted November 23, 2013 I have asked honestly to myself, and I believe I can handle myself at this stage. I don't think we can be certain that we are 100% healed. I feel like texting her after 3 months of NC. I haven't done anything yet. It's just that I want to know if it is appropriate to do so, because I don't know whether my ex is still with her BF.
Simon Phoenix Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 I have asked honestly to myself, and I believe I can handle myself at this stage. I don't think we can be certain that we are 100% healed. I feel like texting her after 3 months of NC. I haven't done anything yet. It's just that I want to know if it is appropriate to do so, because I don't know whether my ex is still with her BF. If you think she might be with a dude, that's more reason for you not to. It's bad idea jeans right now.
melell Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 The guy she is with now, she was seeing him a month after your breakup? And is still with him? In all honesty, if she is in a relationship then I would seriously reconsider whether you actually should ever be with her. I don't know about others, but for me, when I am in love with someone I can't enter into something romantic with someone else that soon.. Sex maybe, but not a relationship. It makes me think that there was more than your lack of commitment that bothered her..
Author LifeWithoutMiMi Posted November 23, 2013 Author Posted November 23, 2013 The guy she is with now, she was seeing him a month after your breakup? And is still with him? In all honesty, if she is in a relationship then I would seriously reconsider whether you actually should ever be with her. I don't know about others, but for me, when I am in love with someone I can't enter into something romantic with someone else that soon.. Sex maybe, but not a relationship. It makes me think that there was more than your lack of commitment that bothered her.. What I know is that my ex has known that guy around in the month of May this year, from a friend. But im sure at that time, there werent anything between them. Our relationship ended in end of July.
Confusedguy81 Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 facebook will lead to the apocalypse of the universe. Mark my words 2
Author LifeWithoutMiMi Posted November 23, 2013 Author Posted November 23, 2013 facebook will lead to the apocalypse of the universe. Mark my words As I wrote earlier, my ex has removed her facebook profile from end of July until end of Oct. From now on, I will loggin to facebook at least as possible. Thanks!
malin819 Posted November 24, 2013 Posted November 24, 2013 (edited) Delete her from facebook. Edited November 24, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Confusedguy81 Posted November 24, 2013 Posted November 24, 2013 dumpees should never initiate contact until they no longer give a crap about the person.
Eddie007 Posted November 24, 2013 Posted November 24, 2013 NC is not just not trying to reach out to them. It also means you do not look at their social media. If you have seen her FB status and that her boyfriend is liking all her pics then you are not doing NC. 1
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