swimswithjeans Posted November 21, 2013 Posted November 21, 2013 The last breakup of my on again/off again relationship happened about 10 days ago. I have been NC since that point, but I, like most others, am hurting. I thought that we wouldn't break-up again (statistically I know this isn't true so please don't lecture me), and we were really very happy. It came out of the blue and he did what he does which is run away every 7-10 weeks like clockwork (and then coming back 1-2 weeks later). This is clearly his issue that he needs to deal with. And I kinda came to terms with that in the past 10 days. And that if WE are ever to work, we need this time apart to fix ourselves. I am still grieving the loss of him, my best friend... And also our Thanksgiving plans which I had been looking forward to for 6 months. I spent a week in bed, and in the past couple of days I got up, got some food, took a shower, went to the gym, saw a friend, wrote some papers... And was almost sort of doing okay. Today I learned of the death of one of my oldest friends. He and I had gone through elementary, middle and high school together. He had the sweetest smile. He came into my workplace last week and we made plans to get coffee together in the beginning of December when he came back from a trip. And last night he was murdered in his car. He died alone. He was the sweetest boy, and he died completely alone, in the cold. I am so shaken. Aside from the fact there is a murderer running about my town, I am shaken. I don't understand why these things happen. I feel even more alone now than I did before... And of course, all I want is comfort. So today I have reached out to at least 10 friends, all of whom are sympathetic but busy. Texting or calling my ex is where my mind is right now... I just feel so scattered and don't even know what to do. I feel broken and wonder what I have to lose.
Yasuandio Posted November 21, 2013 Posted November 21, 2013 Stay NC. Your "heartache" issues and lonliness are nothing compared to being murdered in the cold. This should put things in a very clear perspective for you. If your friends are busy - call a hot-line to talk. It makes me sick my own memory of crying over my Dad's dead corpse over the pain my husband caused me by taking my car and leaving me at the funeral alone (that was 20 years ago). I should have been crying about the loss of my father - pathetic, embarrassing to admit. I was just divorced last year - and, dealt with my Mom's sickness and death alone during the same month of trial. You don't need him. Use this time to become very strong. Yas
rec88 Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 I'm really sorry for your loss. You are going through a much more difficult time than most. But don't do it. Your ex cannot offer the support you need, and you will be disappointed if you expect him to. Don't make this time more difficult than it has to be. Believe me when I say that the loss of your friend is so much more important than the loss of your ex. You will get over a relationship, but you will never forget your friend. You need to deal with that first and foremost. 1
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