hrtblds2ez Posted November 21, 2013 Posted November 21, 2013 This whole NC thing is tough. After being b/u with for 3 weeks, and my not initiating contact for the last 2 of them, except one text just wishing her well, I'm wondering if what I'm doing is right. It's hard to go NC when you work together. I just try to be cordial and act like nothing happened, but it sure is an act and difficult. Immediately post b/u I asked her that when she is ready, could we talk because we did not do much of that before this knee jerk reaction to things "going too fast". So, she and her family are going out of town for the thanksgiving and she says she wants to talk when she gets back. I'm thinking I should not initiate any contact until that time. On the other hand though I feel if I don't at least have minimal contact then she will think I don't care for her. I know this thinking is irrational, but right now everything is.
la74219 Posted November 21, 2013 Posted November 21, 2013 I feel for you. My ex and I have been broken up for about a week and a half. I lost my cool the 1st week then tried to approach it calmly the past few days. Neither approach did anything but make it worse. We also work together and it sucks having to see and hear her everyday. She wants space because she says she wants to forget me and move on. And I'm just trying to stay relevant but screw it my only option that I should've done from the beginning is to leave her the hell alone.
Author hrtblds2ez Posted November 22, 2013 Author Posted November 22, 2013 Sorry to hear that. That sounds harsh. But, for whatever reasons or for what its worth, you have a clear answer however blunt it was. I don't know what's worse, that or stuck in limbo land.
la74219 Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 It's never quite "clear". She says we can be friends after she gets over me. Haha that just gives me hope that she will talk to me again one day. But I need to do whats best for me right now, and that means no contact with her. It kills me.
2fargone Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 This whole NC thing is tough. After being b/u with for 3 weeks, and my not initiating contact for the last 2 of them, except one text just wishing her well, I'm wondering if what I'm doing is right. It's hard to go NC when you work together. I just try to be cordial and act like nothing happened, but it sure is an act and difficult. Immediately post b/u I asked her that when she is ready, could we talk because we did not do much of that before this knee jerk reaction to things "going too fast". So, she and her family are going out of town for the thanksgiving and she says she wants to talk when she gets back. I'm thinking I should not initiate any contact until that time. On the other hand though I feel if I don't at least have minimal contact then she will think I don't care for her. I know this thinking is irrational, but right now everything is. I think you should indeed wait and not initiate. Before you know it you'll be doing a 'pre-emptive strike' and everything will be gone to hell. She sais she wants to talk. If she changes her mind, if she thinks you don't care then that's her problem, not yours.
salem mark Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 go nc, if she says/texts anything tell you agree with breaking up and then disappear, this is your only option if she initiated the breakup
organizedchaos Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 This whole NC thing is tough. After being b/u with for 3 weeks, and my not initiating contact for the last 2 of them, except one text just wishing her well, I'm wondering if what I'm doing is right. It's hard to go NC when you work together. I just try to be cordial and act like nothing happened, but it sure is an act and difficult. Immediately post b/u I asked her that when she is ready, could we talk because we did not do much of that before this knee jerk reaction to things "going too fast". So, she and her family are going out of town for the thanksgiving and she says she wants to talk when she gets back. I'm thinking I should not initiate any contact until that time. On the other hand though I feel if I don't at least have minimal contact then she will think I don't care for her. I know this thinking is irrational, but right now everything is. She's made herself clear. Respect that and stay away. If you don't, she'll think you aren't listening and only further validate why she doesn't want to be with you. Continue NC until after the holiday. Don't blow yourself up.
Author hrtblds2ez Posted November 23, 2013 Author Posted November 23, 2013 Thanks for the answers. Another night at work with her, and she starts texting. I gave simple reply's and a minute later another would come through. I'm not initiating this contact. It'd be a whole lot easier to simply ignore if we didn't work together.
la74219 Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 Thanks for the answers. Another night at work with her, and she starts texting. I gave simple reply's and a minute later another would come through. I'm not initiating this contact. It'd be a whole lot easier to simply ignore if we didn't work together. Oh man it's hard working with the ex. Seems like we are in similar situations, except that you initiated NC and I'm still breaking NC. I agree with you..if we didn't work together, I think this would be just a little easier. It's brutal. She tells me she wants space, and that us talking is weighing her down. Lol man that pisses me the hell off. And the worst...she won't even sit down and have a conversation with me. That burns me up - maybe I'm old school, but damn let's sit down and talk so we can at least learn something from the situation.
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