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Ladies: Is it ok to take current girlfriend on similar date(NYC) as I did with my Ex?

paperboy48

By paperboy48
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paperboy48 Established Member

paperboy48

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I’d like to take my girlfriend to NYC for the day, a week before Christmas. Last year, I did the same thing with a different girl I was seeing at the time. My girlfriend knows I went last year with the girl I was dating at the time. How would you feel about this? Is it okay for me to ask her to go even though she knows I did the same thing last year with a different girl?

nescafe1982 Established Member

nescafe1982

Posted
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It would weird me out a little, honestly. I had a boyfriend do something like this once, and although we never talked about it, the unspoken question was "so, is this time better, worse, etc?"

 

It's silly, I know... but the latent comparison was distracting for me.

 

That doesn't mean don't go on a trip, but you might want to put in some extra effort to do something you've never done before... and make it known to the girlfriend that "hey, let's go do X while in NY... I've never done that before!" That could diffuse it.

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Delilah1623 Established Member

Delilah1623

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Girls want to feel special. Plan something else

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CherryT Established Member

CherryT

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Visiting the same city with your new girlfriend isn't the issue really. If you were to go to all the same sites, eat at all the same restaurant (i.e. "Omg, I love this place. I was here last year… and it was amazing!" - don't do that) and pretty much relive the same situation… it would be weird.

 

Your new girlfriend must be a bit different than your ex. What are some of her interest? Plan something that makes it unique for her. Stay in a different district, perhaps? There's so much to see and do in NYC that you can really make it different if you tried.

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paperboy48 Established Member

paperboy48

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Thanks for the feedback.

 

So, I can say somehting like "I really want to go to NYC with you and I know that I foolishy mentioned I went there last year with the girl I was was dating at the time. To me its not a matter of where you are or what you are doing, its a matter of who you are with and I know we will have so much fun together and I promise not to plan on doing any of the things I did last year."

 

Side note - This is the first Christmas my girlfriend has looked forward to in a long time, due to a divorce she had a while back which, is why I thought what better place to go with her then NYC - which we are only 3 hours away.

Keenly Established Member

Keenly

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Next time, don't disclose your favorite date spots like that.

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pteromom Established Member

pteromom

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Thanks for the feedback.

 

So, I can say somehting like "I really want to go to NYC with you and I know that I foolishy mentioned I went there last year with the girl I was was dating at the time. To me its not a matter of where you are or what you are doing, its a matter of who you are with and I know we will have so much fun together and I promise not to plan on doing any of the things I did last year."

 

I wouldn't even make that big of a deal out of it or bring up the other girl unless she does.

 

As Cherry said, plan something that is specific for your gf. What's her favorite kind of food? Get reservations at an amazing restaurant that serves that kind of food. Any musicals she loves you can get tickets for?

 

The main thing is to make her feel special, and NOT to keep bringing up "Well, when I was here before..." the whole time. It will be a new experience because it will be your first time there with HER.

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CherryT Established Member

CherryT

Posted
Posted (edited)
Thanks for the feedback.

 

So, I can say somehting like "I really want to go to NYC with you and I know that I foolishy mentioned I went there last year with the girl I was was dating at the time. To me its not a matter of where you are or what you are doing, its a matter of who you are with and I know we will have so much fun together and I promise not to plan on doing any of the things I did last year."

 

Side note - This is the first Christmas my girlfriend has looked forward to in a long time, due to a divorce she had a while back which, is why I thought what better place to go with her then NYC - which we are only 3 hours away.

 

Don't even mention the other girl. Why do you need to even mention her and your past? I mean, be open but don't make it sound like you're comparing or reliving. You will be creating unnecessary insecurities with your current girlfriend if you keep bringing up your past relationship and experiences when you making new plans with her.

 

Why not just say "Hey, I was thinking we should go to NYC because it's really beautiful around this time and I'd love to experience it with you. I know you love ___ and I want to take you there. I've never done that before and I think it would be a lot of fun. What do you think? Would you want to spend Christmas with me in NYC?" Focus on your girlfriend not on the girl you dated in the past.

Edited by CherryT
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FitChick Established Member

FitChick

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NYC is one of the largest cities in the world. Lots of things to see and do that you missed the last time. If your girlfriend doesn't like it, she is much too insecure. What next? "You went to Europe with _____. Now we can never go. We can only visit South America, Asia and Africa."

 

It would be a bit different if you took her to a small, romantic BnB in the middle of nowhere.

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ChessPieceFace Established Member

ChessPieceFace

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It's a big city. Just do different things.

Woggle Established Member

Woggle

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There are tons of things to do in NYC that you probably never did with your ex.

todreaminblue Established Member

todreaminblue

Posted
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I’d like to take my girlfriend to NYC for the day, a week before Christmas. Last year, I did the same thing with a different girl I was seeing at the time. My girlfriend knows I went last year with the girl I was dating at the time. How would you feel about this? Is it okay for me to ask her to go even though she knows I did the same thing last year with a different girl?

 

 

 

if its a place you love....then anyoen you take there should feel special and live in the moment of sharing it with you ....if it is a place that was her place...then it is wrong.....deb

NJtoDC Established Member

NJtoDC

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Next time, don't disclose your favorite date spots like that.

 

Agreed. I don't think it's bad to reuse a date idea. Unless it's an elaborate romantic weekend- that would be crappy. Personally, I have been guilty of this myself. There are only so many things to do in my area, especially that are free. I've done the same activities many times, but I never shared that info with my date.

TB Rhine Established Member

TB Rhine

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Only if you

 

A) Tell her that that's what you're doing.

 

B) Show her a picture of your ex and insist that she dress and make herself up to look exactly like her.

 

C) Repeatedly say "You never should've left me, Catherine!" (or whatever your ex-girlfriend's name was) while making love to her that night.

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