Chelseaboy Posted November 21, 2013 Posted November 21, 2013 Quick background I'm 24 girls 27. Shes very pretty and I'm incredibly attracted to her. Picked her up from a bar, we didn't really talk just got her number after we danced.. Just trying to figure out if I should pursue her or leave it. We had the best first date I took her to a really cool bar - lots of chemistry, flirting, great conversation, but we didn't kiss. I think we could have but nobody made the move. Problem is she says she can't remember the night because we drank a fair bit. For me I loved that night, it was one of my best night out and I'm worried I'm holding onto how she was that night and the connection etc. 2nd date the next week was not as good but okay. We kissed at the end of the night which was terrible. She led it and it wasn't the right time. Quite forced, she sort of grabbed me. I told her it was terrible as a joke, she agreed. Then I was on holiday and work commitments meant that we hadn't seen each other for a month. Met up last night, had a few drinks, conversation was good but not really a spark which I think was down to the environment. She looked really good and I physically wanted her. We said our goodbyes, no kiss - for me it was weird to go from a friendly conversation to a full make out session. I messaged her on my way home asking her how she thought it was going. She responded by saying she wanted to see me again. So I messaged her back with how about now? Bit forward but I thought why not. She messaged me back saying that she thought I was cute and wanted to see me again but if I wanted a quick shag (one night stand in American English)I should look for another girl. I just don't know. I want her, but I think it may only be to sleep with her. I think she's into me but I don't think that much. I'm quite used to strong attractions, the sort of relationships where it's intense initial connection and you can't keep your hands of each other. This isn't it. Should I pursue her? Can we have the same fun we had the first night? Is she that into me? Am I that into her? I haven't responded to her since her last text above - what should I say to her? HELP PEOPLE!!!!!! Thanks. Love you all
Philosoraptor Posted November 21, 2013 Posted November 21, 2013 Love you too. But if you aren't feeling it you can either go with no expectations and just have a good time or just let her know you aren't feeling it and move on. Personally if you had a great first date I would just go for the third date and just enjoy yourself. Let what happens happen and if it doesn't go well then you have your answer.
Mascara Posted November 21, 2013 Posted November 21, 2013 The purpose of dating is to find out if you're compatible beyond the initial attraction. In my experience, 3 dates is about right to decide whether or not there's enough there to continue. If it gets to 3 or 4 dates and you're still really excited about each other, that's a good sign. Otherwise, it goes like this - Date 1, goes really well, excited about meeting someone you fancy Date 2, not quite so good, but you don't want to admit it because you still fancy them Date 3, yeah, not really feeling it at all, hmmmm, maybe sleep on it. Date 4, need to find a way to end this Sounds like you're experiencing this. If you're just after a shag, make sure you're honest with her. After 4 dates, she'd reasonably assume you weren't just wanting that.
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