Heartbroken :( Would like to share my story

[dannyhirshaw]

Hi guys. I have been with my girlfriend Maria for 7 years. She chased me no end in university. Eventually I gave in and over the course of a few months we fell deeply in love. I was mad about her she was mad about me, she told me first she loved me and asked me to be her boyfriend. I was delighted and said yes and that I loved her too. About 1.5 year later I broke up with her. I thought the grass was greener basically. This lasted 3 months. I realised she was the one for me and realised then how much I loved her. I asked her back and she said yes straight away. And we had 5 years ahead of us without issue

 

We lived in the same city for 2 years. But we spent most nights in the week together at one or the others house. Then 2 years in different cities so we didn't get to meet as much but there were always butterflies when we got to meet up. Then for the last 2 years we lived in the same city. And 7 ago months Maria got a new job and we moved in together.

 

Well initially I was apprehensive about moving in together but when we did it was going great. We started exercising together and lost a lot of weight together and were getting on really well and really got in shape. Maria didn't like her new job at the start but I comforted her and we kept up the exercise. Eventually she started to really get to like the job and she had lost a lot of weight (4/5 months ago say). She was often going on about her boss Mark who had recently become single because the 'spark had gone' in his relationship and she was very interested in his extra curricular activities like how he took up rowing and boxing. etc, and how Mark said she was the better worker on the team. She loved work outings and started going out a lot more. We had planned a trip but work drinks came up one night. I wasn't too bothered so I went out with my own friends . I took no notice of any of this until I look back in hindsight.

 

I noticed our bedroom activity was not as frequent after moving intogether (maybe once/twice per week) and i think most times I initiated it.

 

My work was relocated to a different state for 5 months. But she didn't seem to have a problem with this. I told her we could rent another room in the house and i would come visit her or she would come visit me and we'd see each other nearly every weekend. She seemed fine.

 

Well we had a holiday planned to San Francisco for mid September. But I came home from work 1 week before the holiday and she told me she was "" having doubts" and was it like 'Mark says does the spark just go?' . I knew I was in trouble straight away. I was instantly heartbroken. I asked her to come out for drinks and we went out and had a good night out together. It was hurting me so much because it came out of nowhere, we had not been fighting we had been doing well exercising together we are both attractive and sexually a small bit of effort on both our parts could have made a big difference. She had only been texting me randomly how much she loved me a week before. I really made her laugh a lot and I genuinely thought she was very happy with everything.

 

We agreed we'd go to San Fransisco, had lots of sex there, I broke down a few times over there. She told me not to worry, that it's normal for couples to break up and get back together, and she doesn't like to think that the last 7 years are for nothing. I asked her if she had to choose me forever more or never more which would it be, and she said 'Forever more'. She often said "i'm not even sure this is what I want". But anyway we agreed that she'd move out the day she got back from San Fran. Her moving out was heartbreaking. She moved out when we got back with lots of tears and she was very sad, she even asked me at one point 'what if we cancelled all this?', I said 'I think you need to go and do it to be sure you want me'.

 

I would be 3 more weeks in the house on my own until I moved out of state.

 

After her moving out, I rang her, everything had changed, she wasn't as warm like she was in San Fran, now she wasn't saying things like 'i''m so scared of losing you forever'. I rang in the few weeks after, usual begging pleading etc ,but it only got me more hurt. The day before I was due to move out of state she was anxious to meet up to say goodbye. I said i'd like to meet but only if you think we'll be back together somewhere down the road. Then she said "oh god i really want to meet you, but i have to say, and i don't want to say, this is the end for us, you go meet your friends". I felt like the Maria I knew was dead, who was the cold stranger I was talking to? Can I please talk to old Maria who would now be crying at the thought of me going away tomorrow?? How can the girl who loved me so hard for 7 years, have no interest in seeing me before I leave state. Please, put my girlfriend on the phone.

 

It all just seemed to come out of nowhere. I never thought in a million years she was the kind of girl that would have any interest in ANY other guy. But it's the only thing I can think now. I think she fell for her boss. I sometimes hope I'm wrong. But it's the only thing that makes any sense.

 

And it hurts so bad. I feel like if I can't trust her not to leave me, then I'm not sure there is anyone out there I can, because I can not imagine anyone loving me as much as she did.

 

I guess I just want some consolation. Will she regret? Is there any chance it's not some other guy? Is there any rationale to this GIGs stuff? This girl really truly loved me hard one time.Thanks people.

 

We have been broken up for 2 months now, I have not seen her in 2 months. Last time I spoke on phone was just before I moved out of state six weeks ago. She text me twice asking how I was getting on and hoping everything was OK. And I just text back saying thanks everything is fine it's going well. I didn't ask any questions back or anything.

Edited November 21, 2013 by dannyhirshaw

[thompkevin]

Hey,

 

Sorry it happened. 7 years is a long time. People change and that's exactly what happened to Maria. I hope you are coping well.