Ex Girlfriend being cold

[Phantomu]

Hello everyone, i am new to this site but I have some questions and i'm looking for help as I see many of you have much experience and advice to give so i will try my best to summarize things.

 

My girlfriend of a year and a couple months has broke up with me about 2 weeks ago. We lived together (too soon I think) and she has her own children who care about me very much. I tried my best to be there for them as much as I could and they looked up to me as a father. She is quite a bit older than me. We ended up moving out of the house we lived in because the house had some hidden problems that were not apparent when we moved in. we lived there for about 2 months. Well, we decided it would be best if we lived apart but stayed together when we moved out. I didnt necessarily have the finances to get my own place right away and even before I moved in with her I had a roomate. So I moved back in with my parents to save money and get back on my feet. All was fine, I was okay with this. Well as we were moving out she told me she loved me and still wanted to be my girlfriend and I told her I would give her some space to get her house together and things. The night before she broke up with me her card wouldnt work at a restaurant and she was trying to get food for her and the kids so she asked me if I could give her $40. I did and she told me she would see me the next day to give me back the money and kiss me. Well I said you dont have to pay me back but ill take the kiss. She never came over the next day and so before I went to work I ask if I could swing by for like a minute to just kiss her (not even come inside the house) and she got really upset as she wanted to have her house and herself together. I asked if we were doing okay and she said that I was making her define our relationship. I apologized and told her i loved her and she did the same. an hour later she text me and said she couldnt emotionally handle our relationship and she needed time to think about things. I was so upset, right before my shift and i basically pleaded with her that I was sorry and didnt mean to push her into thinking that. She said she just couldnt do it right now. So i gave her some space for some days and she said we can talk. She texted and told me that I could come to her sons birthday party but when it came to talking about us she said "Well i love you but I really wanna be alone, do you hate me?" I told her how much I loved her and that i wish we could just work things out instead of doing this. She said she was sorry. I gave it more time. The day before the party I ran into her in public and she saw me, we said hello and stared at eachother.She looked broken. She said she would talk to me later. Later rolls around she asked if I wanted to come to the party early and that I looked very handsome today. I agreed and came to the party and put the gifts down. No one was there yet and she hugged and kissed me VERY passionately. I thought things would be good. I saw her son and daughter and they missed me SO MUCH. Well the party was fun and wasnt awkward but at the end i asked if I should leave and she said yeah just so things aren't awkward for you.She hugged and kissed me. I told her son happy birthday and he asked me when i would come see him again. I told him "hopefully soon buddy." I left. and then she text me an hour later saying "thank you for coming to the party, it was really nice to see you. Thank you for the hugs I missed your snuggles" well I was incredibly confused because of her kissing me and I asked if I could speak to her. She called me and I asked if that kiss meant anything. She said "yes it did, I still care about you but I don't want to be in a relationship right now and you shouldnt feel obligated to me either." she told me she has NO plans on dating anyone else and she just wants to get her life together for her and her kids. I tried asking if there was anyway we could do this because I thought us moving apart was so we could fix our relationship with alot less pressure from living together. She wouldn't budge. She told me that she hasnt moved on from me and still loves me very much. but at the same time she isn't trying to fix this. I have text her a few times and now she acts like she doesn't care and has begun ignoring my texts. I don't know if i've made it to where it would be impossible to ever get her back or not. She said it was wrong of her to kiss me but she couldnt help it. I have never once got mad at her during this break up and im hurting really badly because I really love this woman and I wanna be there for her and her kids. I coached her sons football team and everything. She's going to go do fun things this weekend with our mutual friend who is a girl but I just can't have fun right now. It's all I think about guys...Not only did I lose my apartment, I lost her too and now Im living in my parents basement.I never wanted to move back with my parents as I have been self sufficient all this time. I am depressed and I feel like it's impossible to be happy right now. I don't understand why she could be so cold on me like that. Please help me with my situation everyone.. I would appreciate it.

[LifeIsGreat]

Dude, no one is going to respond to that wall of text. Break it up into paragraphs you may get some reads.