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I'm bursting at the seams to let him know I'm completely smitten, but is it too soon?

mammasita

By mammasita
in General Relationship Discussion

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mammasita Established Member

mammasita

Posted
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On the one hand if I come out and say "I think I'm falling in love with you".....He might not reciprocate, in which case, I know where he stands.....which is fine. I don't want or need to move forward with someone who doesn't have those feelings for me.

 

On the other hand.....is it just too soon? I have a track record for moving at warp speed. It hasn't even been 3 months yet.

 

UGH, I know, tell me I'm crazy and to calm down if this is the case.

 

Let's hear it.

Philosoraptor Established Member

Philosoraptor

Posted
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Eh, you need to do what feels right for you and not base your actions on fear of the results. But when things feel right, they feel right. Enjoy them rather then stressing over them.

MissBee Established Member

MissBee

Posted
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If you have a history of moving too fast, then try something different, feel the feelings but let them simmer and maybe wait for him to make the move first to verbalize it.

 

In all my relationships the man has been the one to declare his love first. This isn't a "rule" btw, but for me, I know once I'm in I'm in, so even if I felt it, I didn't allow myself to declare it until he did. I needed him to meet me there personally.

 

If you esp have a history of moving too fast I would suggest maybe allowing him to be the one to up the ante this time first instead of you.

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Philosoraptor Established Member

Philosoraptor

Posted
Posted

Oh come on, that seems so cowardly. I feel this way but I want you to say it first? How many people get caught in this infinite loop because neither party wants to open up? Just another game. I'd bet my house that a ton of relationships end because both parties feel the same wonderful way but one eventually freaks out because the other hasn't said it first. What happened to taking a leap? I think too many people these days lack the trust in themselves to open up and take a risk.

 

You'd be most efficient to just say what you feel when you feel it. That way you either break that ice and grow together or find out you aren't the one they're looking for and you both can move on.

  • Like 4
ken_25 Established Member

ken_25

Posted
Posted
On the one hand if I come out and say "I think I'm falling in love with you".....He might not reciprocate, in which case, I know where he stands.....which is fine. I don't want or need to move forward with someone who doesn't have those feelings for me.

 

On the other hand.....is it just too soon? I have a track record for moving at warp speed. It hasn't even been 3 months yet.

 

UGH, I know, tell me I'm crazy and to calm down if this is the case.

 

Let's hear it.

 

I've been seeing someone for three weeks and she told me she's falling in love with me. I told her that I was falling in love with her, we kissed.

 

Tell him.

Mascara Established Member

Mascara

Posted
Posted

I think 2 months is a good time for the I-Love-Yous, but I'm of the school that thinks it should come from him. Sorry, I know that's not what you want to hear.

  • Like 1
regine_phalange Established Member

regine_phalange

Posted
Posted
On the one hand if I come out and say "I think I'm falling in love with you".....He might not reciprocate, in which case, I know where he stands.....which is fine. I don't want or need to move forward with someone who doesn't have those feelings for me.

 

On the other hand.....is it just too soon? I have a track record for moving at warp speed. It hasn't even been 3 months yet.

 

UGH, I know, tell me I'm crazy and to calm down if this is the case.

 

Let's hear it.

 

My opinion is not to say "I think I'm falling in love with you".

Say "I am falling in love with you" instead!

 

Do what you want to do, really. After three months is a fine time!

MissBee Established Member

MissBee

Posted
Posted (edited)
Oh come on, that seems so cowardly. I feel this way but I want you to say it first? How many people get caught in this infinite loop because neither party wants to open up? Just another game. I'd bet my house that a ton of relationships end because both parties feel the same wonderful way but one eventually freaks out because the other hasn't said it first. What happened to taking a leap? I think too many people these days lack the trust in themselves to open up and take a risk.

 

You'd be most efficient to just say what you feel when you feel it. That way you either break that ice and grow together or find out you aren't the one they're looking for and you both can move on.

 

I've never been caught in an infinite loop or broke up because of that. As it usually is a pretty organic process and not where I'm bursting at the seams to declare my love but am restraining myself. Many women are quicker to throw caution to the wind in love and I think for that reason it can be better to allow the guy to lead the way. This is not a hard and fast rule or always the case in all relationships, but I am also basing my advice on something that has seemed to be a problem for the OP in the past.

 

The OP seems like she has a history of maybe jumping the gun with this and if such is the case, it is wise IMO, that maybe waiting a while and allowing things to unfold on the other person's part as well might be good. If you ALWAYS are rushing off to say I love you first and it never works out in your favor, then maybe it's something about you doing that why, and at least ONCE you can try to hold off and allow the other person to step up first and see what difference that makes.

Edited by MissBee
Elliotte Established Member

Elliotte

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I don't think approaching 3 months is too soon to say "I love you" at all. Besides, if it does scare him off, would you really want to be with a guy like that?

d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

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If it's what you are feeling, go for it but I endorse the idea of soft pedaling it the way you suggested: "I think I'm falling in love with you." That's a bit less direct than an outright declaration.

Ruby Slippers Established Member

Ruby Slippers

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I like to let the man lead the relationship and feel his feelings for me so strongly that he can't hold them back anymore. I think the woman saying I love you first steals the man's thunder.

ken_25 Established Member

ken_25

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Depends on the man. For me, definitely not.

ktwatx New Member

ktwatx

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I've got two really close couple friends who've both gotten to the "I love you" before three months, and both couples been married for YEARS now. In one situation the female said it first, in the other the male. Sometimes you just know what you want in your life and that person comes along. I know that sometimes it can be a sign that someone just doesn't like being alone. But, if that's not your case, don't worry.

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