beach Posted November 21, 2013 Posted November 21, 2013 Yes, expose to the OM's wife. Assume your W had sex with him the entire year. If she denies - have her take a polygraph. File with the courts for that scumbag to start paying child support! Your W has been an expert liar - what makes you think she would stop lying now, when she needs to lie the most? Consequences for her are most effective in allowing HER to fully understand that what she's done may result in the end of what she calls your marriage.
karnak Posted November 21, 2013 Posted November 21, 2013 This would be your wife's XH, then? If this is really the case then the best he has to do is terminate the marriage. When a woman re-ignites (sort of) feelings for a former partner then the current partner has a long road of suffering ahead of him. Which will inevitably end in the collapse of the relationship.
Mickey_Fitzpatrick Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 No. He was a guy who knocked her up, abandoned her when she got pregnant, and isn't even a father to his child. I am the only real father that boy has had. In fact, he didn't hesitate to give up his son if I didn't tell his wife. That's the type of scumbag this spineless sorry excuse for a "man" is. He said he would vanish from our lives and we would never hear from him again. As long as I didn't tell his wife because, you know, he has a 6 month baby at home. A guy like that, you really can't believe anything he says. What reason did your wife give for it? He complimented her and flirted with her? That's it? How do you feel comfortable reconciling if all it takes to get her to cheat is some compliments and flirting?
Artie Lang Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 the reason you're feeling the way you do is because you're still in shock. if this OM is married you definitely need to tell his wife..... she has a right to know, as you did. He was a guy who knocked her up, abandoned her when she got pregnant, and isn't even a father to his child. I am the only real father that boy has had. this hurts. sounds like a total POS scumbag to me. then again, what does that say about your wife to go back to him..... what a clusterfu*ck.
MasonJarTeaDrinker Posted December 10, 2013 Posted December 10, 2013 Maybe you never really loved her in the first place?
ChooseTruth Posted December 10, 2013 Posted December 10, 2013 (edited) I didn't have much of a reaction for an entire week. I couldn't even comprehend how it was going to affect my life. Slowly the triggers started showing themselves...and I started finding she really wasn't as remorseful as she seemed those first few days. I found more and more lies over the next few months. Time will tell. You'll discover how this all affects you. A lot of it will depend on what your spouse does and how they handle things. You truly are in the "denial" phase, not because you are stupid or blind...just inexperienced. I'm sure you've never experienced something like this before, I certainly hadn't. I was so impressed with myself that first week. hahahahahaha......yeah....we ended up divorcing. Hopefully things go better for you. If she is truly remorseful in her actions it might I should add that my ex was pregnant at first(possibly by OM)...that first week. Then she miscarried. I was really dumbfounded and had absolutely zero idea how to handle things. When she miscarried after the first week and that problem disappeared..my fog started to life a bit. Edited December 10, 2013 by ChooseTruth
BeholdtheMan Posted December 10, 2013 Posted December 10, 2013 sounds like a total POS scumbag to me. then again, what does that say about your wife to go back to him.....just as big a POS?
Author Ap22 Posted December 10, 2013 Author Posted December 10, 2013 Time will tell. You'll discover how this all affects you. A lot of it will depend on what your spouse does and how they handle things. You truly are in the "denial" phase, not because you are stupid or blind...just inexperienced. I'm sure you've never experienced something like this before, I certainly hadn't. I was so impressed with myself that first week. hahahahahaha......yeah....we ended up divorcing. Hopefully things go better for you. If she is truly remorseful in her actions it might You hit the nail on the head. I'm not saying it doesnt kill me inside. I'm just saying I thought I would be worthless for a long time because of the pain crippling me. I was thinking about it the other day and I think the reason why I'm able to take it so well is because of her. She has done everything right so far. She has been extremely remorseful, has done anything and everything to cater to my needs, and she has been everything I always wanted her to be. Now let me be clear, I have zero trust in her obviously. I still dont know if this is an act to save her butt or if she truly is going to be a better woman. However, I know if she wasnt remorseful or if she had no interest in saving the marriage, I would be devastated. I've learned to control my emotions due to all the crap I've been through in life. I can turn my emotions on/off like a switch. I have to make a conscious decision to let this bother me. I know I'll be okay. As far as what it says about my wife to cheat on me with a total POS...well, I asked her the same thing. I asked her "is that the best you could do?". At the very least, cheat on me with a man, not a weasel with no balls. I'm the best man shes ever going to get.
Author Ap22 Posted December 11, 2013 Author Posted December 11, 2013 Well I found out something about what is happening with me. Apparently, its taking every single thing I have to keep me "fine". The slightest thing goes wrong and i'm a wreck. Today, i'm dealing with an unexpected home repair. I've already contacted someone to fix it but i'm a wreck right now. I cant think, I feel flustered, I feel lightheaded, I cant deal with this simple thing.....its like my mind/body has been so focused on dealing with my wifes betrayal and it literally cannot handle the slightest thing going wrong. The slightest bit of stress and my mind and body is blowing it up to epic proportions. Honestly the way I'm taking this you would think this is bankrupting me.
Chi townD Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 Shock is wearing off and everything is starting to come to the surface. Hold on! It's gonna be a very bumpy ride!
Author Ap22 Posted December 11, 2013 Author Posted December 11, 2013 Shock is wearing off and everything is starting to come to the surface. Hold on! It's gonna be a very bumpy ride! I dont know if shock is wearing off....it feels more like its taking every ounce of energy and strength I have to keep going and the slightest hiccup can come in and screw me up. I was fine until i found out about this repair needed. I didnt sleep well and I felt I had no control of my emotions... Basically I have nothing left to handle the slightest stressor because everything is so focused on handling the stress of my wifes affair. Seriously, I keep telling myself its nothing, its already handled, and I can afford the repair but its not helping....my mind is flustered, i cant think, i'm even getting body pains....
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