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Should I decline and hope they go away or be direct?


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Posted

I used to go to this small group function, but have fell out of it and don't see the connection (there barely was one to begin with) anymore. Anyway, after several months one of the group members messages me, but I never met him. He's new I guess, and assigned the role of "check up on MIA members."

 

Anyway, he asked me out to lunch with the group 3 weeks ago and I declined, stating I am busy and, for a lack of a better term, in a different stage in my life.

 

I was hopeful he would get the message and drop it there, but he emailed me the other day saying it's OK and that I'm welcomed to join them anytime. Then he invited me to a Friday night event. I am not going. Should I say:

 

"Got plans, sorry. Have fun"

 

or be a little more direct?

 

i.e. "Won't be able to make it. In the future, I'll let you know if I can make any events."

 

I can't word it in a way that doesn't come off all "dramatic" or "arrogant."

 

At the same time, I am hoping he doesn't contact me again inviting me out. Don't know whether to be direct or evasive one more time and hope that he gets the hint. I am leaning toward quick and dirty "can't make it, have fun" and then ignoring potential future invites completely.

 

Thoughts?

Posted

I'd say something to indicate that you don't need to be checked up on & that you know where to find them if you want to come back. I have been the person assigned to try to corral lapsed memebers & hate being a pest so I'd rather know you appreciate the phone call but don't want to be bothered. My time is valuable too. It's not personal.

Posted

Can do one of two things...Either just ignore the messages and put the email address directed to your spam folder, that way you don't hear from that group again (I take it you're done and not going back) or, just write back and say "thanks but life is busy for me now and don't have the time or interest anymore to be involved with the group. I'd appreciate it if I was taken off the email list."

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Posted

update: I ended up too busy to ever even respond, lol. oops. i got piled with work stuff and by then it was too late, their event had already started.

 

no need to press the issue at this point, but if they contact me again in the future then I'll tell them I've moved on.

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