thundermunch Posted November 21, 2013 Posted November 21, 2013 There is this girl whom I dated for 2 years, on and off. I loved her with all of my heart, but jealousy and insecurity often started arguments between us. However, we would always fix things and come back to each other. We began dating my senior year of high school. We ended things 6 months ago. We both were okay with it at first, because we still would treat each other as if we were together. Only we spent more time with friends and family, and didn't worry about each other too much. However, we would still hang out and sleep together often. Up until recently, things were perfect. I was close to asking her to be my girlfriend again. Then one day, everything flipped. She told me that she didn't like me anymore. There was another guy that she had gotten to know and that "gets along" with her better. She likes him now, but doesn't want a relationship. We still have been having sex every so often, but she claims it doesn't mean anything. It's only because she's comfortable with me. I continue to do it because I love her and miss her, and having sex makes me feel close to her. She says she wants to keep me as a best friend.. even though she is supposedly talking to this new guy. They hang out constantly. What do I do? How do I move on from this situation, or get her back? I will answer any questions asked.. I just really am becoming depressed when I shouldn't be. I'm in college.. my grades are falling, and I don't know how to stop this downward spiral. I'm supposed to be having fun. I need help.
Stay Posted November 21, 2013 Posted November 21, 2013 You don't stay her friend or try to get her back, there's no such thing as getting someone back. She'll come back if she wants, what you do will not matter. Right now she has you and the other guy, you're second to her though. Are you ok with second? I wouldn't think so. Don't let her have the option, she has options she can pick from and you're allowing that. On top of that this is ruining your life. As hard and difficult it may be, drop her, focus on yourself and she'll feel like she has lost you. Only then can she make a decision and only then you can decide if you still want to be second. 1
lovecomesandgoes Posted December 6, 2013 Posted December 6, 2013 Dude, move on. She sounds exactly like the me almost 3 years ago. I broke up with my high school sweetheart of 4 years and we lingered on and on, he refused to let me go and I guess it was hard for me too b/c I got so used to him being around. Finally, I told him I couldn't talk to him anymore b/c I liked someone else, a guy he knew about who was pursuing me for almost a year, he didn't want to believe me, but I put my foot down and left. We slept together for the last time in his car, I felt so disgusting after b/c he almost forced me to do it. I felt zero passion and no love, to me, it was my way of saying "sorry for breaking your heart, this is the least I'll do for you". Things clearly didn't end well, he went insane, he went through cycles between being depressed, to desperate, to unreasonably hateful towards me, none of that ever worked in hopes of winning me back. When girls move on, they only miss their ex when the new guy treats them bad. Otherwise, feelings are long gone. Grace period is between 1-2 month post break up only under the circumstance that she is still into you but you guys were having issues. There are plenty of fish in the sea, and although it is sad to let her go, you have to remember that she does not wish to be with you and nothing will change her mind. Us girls are needy DURING relationships, but when we decide it's over, we could care less, the guy suddenly becomes "WTF" to us-trust me, all of my girlfriends would tell you the same too. GOOD LUCK!!
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