It’s Me, Not You

[ILoveVegas]

My lame ex girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me last month with this lame excuse.

 

She text me this..

 

"I'm sorry i'm doing this to you but i feel like I don't wanna go on anymore, I wish i can change things but i can't.. I wanted to be by my own no relations. You deserve better who's gonna give all you need.. You made me happy and you are great! It's not you, It's me. I will always be here if you need me. You will always be part of my heart"

 

So when she said that I didn't respond and leave the hell out of her alone. No Begging, No Pleading.. Just disappeared like a magic!

 

Now I got a text from her yesterday

 

"Hello How are you? I heard your grandfather is sick. is he ok?"

 

what the hell does she want from me?

 

I gave my all to this girl. Treat her the best that I can. Surprises/Gifts, Support her with her job, Understand her.

 

I can say that she did her part with our relationship too. She did treat me great but I don't know why our relationship ended like this to be honest..

 

What's the best thing to reply? or I'll just don't reply to this girl anymore?

Edited November 21, 2013 by ILoveVegas

[burrito]

My ex said the same thing to me :/

 

She's probably wondering why you didn't reply to her other text. In my opinion, I would leave it as is and not reply. But then again, do what feels right to you.

[lauri]

First off, I'm sorry if your grandfather is sick and I hope he gets better soon.

 

You did an excellent job not responding at all in the first place. If I was you, I would continue to maintain no contact. You need to ask yourself if you really want to be talking to her / relying on her for that emotional support.

 

I'd let her live with her decision and let it sink in for a while. If you want to be polite you could respond and tell her how your grandfather is doing, but like I mentioned above I personally would not even respond.

 

She has no right to be involved in your life anymore or know what is going on.

[Kansas87]

Do not reply. Do not say anything. She wants a response; don't give it to her.

 

By showing that she still cares, she is trying to maintain a friendly, emotional support system and friendly relationship with you. She probably feels guilty about breaking up with you (via text message after 3 years????) and is desperate for some kind of response. She might have thought you would fight, argue, beg, etc. and was prepared for that and doesn't quite know how to handle NC.

[chris21422]

I can suggest 2 things.

 

1 - Don't respond (I Recommend this)

 

2 - Respond simple and short (I'm great and he is fine. thanks) and don't respond anymore after that.

 

Honestly maybe she is still concern about you that's why she ask about your grandfather or she is missing you. You mentioned that she did treat you great when you two are together so probably she still cares about you.

[ILoveVegas]

Thinking to just be the man that I am and I'll just respond like what you said there.. I will keep it short and simple.

 

I known her for 3 yrs. I know she is probably just really concern but that doesn't mean I'm ok with what she did. I just respect her decision but I'm not keeping any hate on her..

 

If you love someone you gotta let them go.

Thanks everyone for help

 

 

I can suggest 2 things.

 

1 - Don't respond (I Recommend this)

 

2 - Respond simple and short (I'm great and he is fine. thanks) and don't respond anymore after that.

Honestly maybe she is still concern about you that's why she ask about your grandfather or she is missing you. You mentioned that she did treat you great when you two are together so probably she still cares about you.

[ks0985]

My lame ex girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me last month with this lame excuse.

 

She text me this..

 

"I'm sorry i'm doing this to you but i feel like I don't wanna go on anymore, I wish i can change things but i can't.. I wanted to be by my own no relations. You deserve better who's gonna give all you need.. You made me happy and you are great! It's not you, It's me. I will always be here if you need me. You will always be part of my heart"

 

So when she said that I didn't respond and leave the hell out of her alone. No Begging, No Pleading.. Just disappeared like a magic!

 

Now I got a text from her yesterday

 

"Hello How are you? I heard your grandfather is sick. is he ok?"

 

what the hell does she want from me?

 

I gave my all to this girl. Treat her the best that I can. Surprises/Gifts, Support her with her job, Understand her.

 

I can say that she did her part with our relationship too. She did treat me great but I don't know why our relationship ended like this to be honest..

 

What's the best thing to reply? or I'll just don't reply to this girl anymore?

 

 

Good for you for being strong enough to not beg and plead, She text you that today because she is probably shocked you did not beg and plead for her to stay with you. Ignore that message.....give it 3 weeks and i bet she send you another text message. Playing the game fine sir i like! Keep up the good work

[chris21422]

Good luck let us know what happen

 

Thinking to just be the man that I am and I'll just respond like what you said there.. I will keep it short and simple.

 

I known her for 3 yrs. I know she is probably just really concern but that doesn't mean I'm ok with what she did. I just respect her decision but I'm not keeping any hate on her..

 

If you love someone you gotta let them go.

Thanks everyone for help

[Trapp-er]

My ex broke up with me citing very similar reasons as yours, e.g., it's not you it's me; I don't deserve you; I feel guilty for leaving my ex-Husband; I need to learn how to be single, I don't want to do the work to be happy, etc.; it's not fair to you to put you through that; You deserve better. As soon as I could (rushed to give her all her stuff back and get mine) I stopped talking to her.

 

She was pretty manipulative a month later after I didn't immediately respond to her first text and got me to respond by saying she wanted to talk to me about her son. I was worried about her son, but what she had to say wasn't worthy of the drama. That exchange ended quickly.

 

A couple days later she started online dating.

 

Exactly 3 months to the day after our breakup (two weeks ago) while I celebrating how far I'd come emotionally since we split up, she texted me again--this time she didn't ask any questions or anything. She essentially just said "Hi." I did not respond and I have not heard from her since.

 

At first I felt strong and found her message laughable. But this week I've found myself set back, thinking about her and asking myself if I should have responded. Does she want me back? Is she willing to work on the relationship? Should I have told her off? Blah. I almost responded yesterday. I actually caught myself typing a message to her, but then I put the phone down, called my friend and went for a walk.

 

I've been really strong since we broke up. It sucked. I have never felt that kind of emotional pain. But I knew that my only path forward was to respect her decision not to be with me and to move on. I have not initiated any contact. Her texting me two weeks back, however, stirred everything up again and set me back to wondering what if? How is her son? Has she changed? Does she want me back?

 

My point is this--if you decide not to respond to her text it may feel great at first, but over time it might also start to grate on you like it did me. If and when that happens, lean hard on your support system. They will help you calm down and remind you of all the revelations about the relationship you've made since splitting up. Most importantly, remember to keep you chin up and to take care of your needs first, because anyone who breaks a 3 year relationship over text message doesn't deserve what you have to offer.

Edited November 21, 2013 by Trapp-er

[chris21422]

I think you did good Ignoring a "Hi" Message.

 

Hi it's just a bored breadcrumb message.. At least put in more effort or meaningful message.

 

don't feel bad if she want you back she will message again with something more meaningful than Hi.

 

 

She essentially just said "Hi." I did not respond and I have not heard from her since.

 

At first I felt strong and found her message laughable. But this week I've found myself set back, thinking about her and asking myself if I should have responded. Does she want me back? Is she willing to work on the relationship? Should I have told her off? Blah. I almost responded yesterday. I actually caught myself typing a message to her, but then I put the phone down, called my friend and went for a walk.

 

I've been really strong since we broke up. It sucked. I have never felt that kind of emotional pain. But I knew that my only path forward was to respect her decision not to be with me and to move on. I have not initiated any contact. Her texting me two weeks back, however, stirred everything up again and set me back to wondering what if? How is her son? Has she changed? Does she want me back?

 

My point is this--if you decide not to respond to her text it may feel great at first, but over time it might also start to grate on you like it did me. If and when that happens, lean hard on your support system. They will help you calm down and remind you of all the revelations about the relationship you've made since splitting up. Most importantly, remember to keep you chin up and to take care of your needs first, because anyone who breaks a 3 year relationship over text message doesn't deserve what you have to offer.

[Trapp-er]

I think you did good Ignoring a "Hi" Message.

 

Hi it's just a bored breadcrumb message.. At least put in more effort or meaningful message.

 

don't feel bad if she want you back she will message again with something more meaningful than Hi.

 

Thanks. I'm still stuck thinking about her an awful lot. I think I was really starting to move on and get happy again, but the past couple days have been hard. My family is tired of hearing about it. My friends, while understanding, don't understand why I'm hung up on her still. I think it's missing being part of something bigger than myself--being part of a family--and the emptiness/void not being with her has created that's so hard to deal with.

 

I wasn't happy with the way the relationship was going, but was willing to work on myself and the relationship. Her unwillingness to work on herself or the relationship still makes no sense to me, but it's not for me to try to fix her or make her see what she's missing. The dumb texts to me after ending the relationship make even less sense to me. It's unfair and selfish and I deserve better.

 

I didn't respond this time, but if she contacts me again I think I have to ask what the heck she wants? She wanted me out of her life so I left. Wtf?

 

Sorry to have hijacked your thread OP. Not my intention.

[ILoveVegas]

All cool man, I don't mind at all. Just a little update I responded to her it's been like 2 days now since she message lol..

 

I got no response from her. So I don't know what her intention is but It's all cool. I've been polite enough to respond if she didn't want it's ok. Good luck to her LOL

 

 

 

Sorry to have hijacked your thread OP. Not my intention.

[chris21422]

That's ok women are like that.. She probably thought you ignored her cause it's been almost 2 days. Don't mind it at all she will contact you again next time ignore it.

 

 

 

All cool man, I don't mind at all. Just a little update I responded to her it's been like 2 days now since she message lol..

 

I got no response from her. So I don't know what her intention is but It's all cool. I've been polite enough to respond if she didn't want it's ok. Good luck to her LOL

[ILoveVegas]

Haven't heard anything from her. So tempted to contact her please tell me I'm stupid guys

[xUnknown]

Haven't heard anything from her. So tempted to contact her please tell me I'm stupid guys

 

Don't do it man. Stay NC. All you'll do is give her an ego boost and get yourself down more when she doesn't.

[ILoveVegas]

Thank you guys! I really love this forum.

 

I am in vegas at the moment I could have message her this

 

"Here in vegas, just remembered everything that we did here.. Take care"

 

I know its stupid im not sending it.. But missing her badly though.

[chris21422]

Do not contact her BIG NO NO!! You're in vegas a lot of distraction there have fun!

 

Thank you guys! I really love this forum.

 

I am in vegas at the moment I could have message her this

 

"Here in vegas, just remembered everything that we did here.. Take care"

 

I know its stupid im not sending it.. But missing her badly though.

[ILoveVegas]

I know man. Everywhere I look here I'm like we been there, We did that there

 

We ate at this place.. Man it's hard

 

Do not contact her BIG NO NO!! You're in vegas a lot of distraction there have fun!

[nevergoodenough]

My lame ex girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me last month with this lame excuse.

 

She text me this..

 

"I'm sorry i'm doing this to you but i feel like I don't wanna go on anymore, I wish i can change things but i can't.. I wanted to be by my own no relations. You deserve better who's gonna give all you need.. You made me happy and you are great! It's not you, It's me. I will always be here if you need me. You will always be part of my heart"

 

So when she said that I didn't respond and leave the hell out of her alone. No Begging, No Pleading.. Just disappeared like a magic!

 

Now I got a text from her yesterday

 

"Hello How are you? I heard your grandfather is sick. is he ok?"

 

what the hell does she want from me?

 

I gave my all to this girl. Treat her the best that I can. Surprises/Gifts, Support her with her job, Understand her.

 

I can say that she did her part with our relationship too. She did treat me great but I don't know why our relationship ended like this to be honest..

 

What's the best thing to reply? or I'll just don't reply to this girl anymore?

 

wow I just learned a lesson, I'm gonna start doing this from now on. This is a post that i'm going to adopt to my life. Thanks a lot.

[whichwayisup]

My lame ex girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me last month with this lame excuse.

 

She text me this..

 

"I'm sorry i'm doing this to you but i feel like I don't wanna go on anymore, I wish i can change things but i can't.. I wanted to be by my own no relations. You deserve better who's gonna give all you need.. You made me happy and you are great! It's not you, It's me. I will always be here if you need me. You will always be part of my heart"

 

So when she said that I didn't respond and leave the hell out of her alone. No Begging, No Pleading.. Just disappeared like a magic!

 

Now I got a text from her yesterday

 

"Hello How are you? I heard your grandfather is sick. is he ok?"

 

what the hell does she want from me?

 

I gave my all to this girl. Treat her the best that I can. Surprises/Gifts, Support her with her job, Understand her.

 

I can say that she did her part with our relationship too. She did treat me great but I don't know why our relationship ended like this to be honest..

 

What's the best thing to reply? or I'll just don't reply to this girl anymore?

Yeah you tell her, "I know, it's you and NOT me." Nah, just kidding, that'd be mean. Don't stoop to her level.

 

Honestly, just tell her that your relationship is over, she broke up with you and to please leave you alone. You two are not friends and won't be for a very very long time, if ever.

 

She has to understand (since she broke up with you) she can't call you and keep in touch, be a part of your life. Breaking up is not being in your life anymore and she HAS to respect that. It makes it more painful for you every time she contacts you.

 

Or just continue to ignore her. Do what you feel is best for you!

[nevergoodenough]

I know man. Everywhere I look here I'm like we been there, We did that there

 

We ate at this place.. Man it's hard

 

My ex goes to the same university I do, I'm living in fear of seeing her. If I were to bump into her and she had a new guy or just ignored me, I would be so crushed. I wish I were invisible so I didn't have to see her.

[ILoveVegas]

I received another text message today greeting me for thanksgiving asking how I am. hahaha! and I will not respond.

[ILoveVegas]

Funny how no contact is so powerful.

[BC1980]

Funny how no contact is so powerful.

 

It really is powerful. It makes you feel so much better about yourself. You don't even engage in those lazy back and forth texts. You don't have to worry about how to respond. It's great.

[Meadowgreen]

I received another text message today greeting me for thanksgiving asking how I am. hahaha! and I will not respond.

 

You are owning this! Stay strong, let her chase you and wonder what you're up to!