DALIFAN Posted November 21, 2013 Posted November 21, 2013 (edited) I'll try to recap our dating story shortly: *he came out of a 2 years relationship 1.5 months ago *I came out of a 3 years relationship 4 months ago * we met through common friends, that figured they should set us up. *He'S really busy, cause he just opened a business and works pretty much 6 days a week from 9am to 9pm or even later *First things started with the intention of it only being sex *but after the second time we figured we liked each other and started seeing each other more * our common friends (a couple the guy is his best friend and the girlfriend one of my good friends) are quite happy about the idea of me and him being together and tend to be very obvious about that sometimes *In the beginning his text were really sweet saying things ilke "I wish i could come to that party, cause i would have really loved to see you", "asking me about my day", giving me compliments etc... *I told him a week ago that i really like him and he said he does to and he can't deny the way he feels about me. He added that he thought I am too cool for him. (Whatever that means) *but after a while i started initiating the texts and for a week it'S been pretty much only me and it takes him forever to answer... He knows how much I like him, I told him that pretty much makes me act like a 16year old girl. *last friday we saw each other again and we had THE talk. We agreed that we both don't want to have a relationship, but decided that we wanted this to be exclusive. It heard through the girl (our common friend) that he told his best friend about us being exclusive and that he is really happy about it... BUT he just doesn't act that way. I write him texts asking how his day went, he never asks me how mine went.. Today after 2 days of not texting I wrote him a text asking him about a book (Obvious pretense to start a convo). He writes back after like 6 hours. It was a friendly text but just nice. He even mentioned having his free day tomorrow and that he is really excited. But no mention about us maybe meeting up... Any advice on that? Am I overreacting? Oh and I'm 24 he is 28 and we've been dating for 1 and a half months ( I know not too long). Edited November 21, 2013 by DALIFAN
Philosoraptor Posted November 21, 2013 Posted November 21, 2013 Sounds like you're an afterthought. Sorry. If you're not happy with it then dump him and find someone who makes you more of a priority.
ExpatInItaly Posted November 21, 2013 Posted November 21, 2013 (edited) I'll try to recap our dating story shortly: *he came out of a 2 years relationship 1.5 months ago *I came out of a 3 years relationship 4 months ago * we met through common friends, that figured they should set us up. *He'S really busy, cause he just opened a business and works pretty much 6 days a week from 9am to 9pm or even later *First things started with the intention of it only being sex *but after the second time we figured we liked each other and started seeing each other more * our common friends (a couple the guy is his best friend and the girlfriend one of my good friends) are quite happy about the idea of me and him being together and tend to be very obvious about that sometimes *In the beginning his text were really sweet saying things ilke "I wish i could come to that party, cause i would have really loved to see you", "asking me about my day", giving me compliments etc... *I told him a week ago that i really like him and he said he does to and he can't deny the way he feels about me. He added that he thought I am too cool for him. (Whatever that means) *but after a while i started initiating the texts and for a week it'S been pretty much only me and it takes him forever to answer... He knows how much I like him, I told him that pretty much makes me act like a 16year old girl. *last friday we saw each other again and we had THE talk. We agreed that we both don't want to have a relationship, but decided that we wanted this to be exclusive. It heard through the girl (our common friend) that he told his best friend about us being exclusive and that he is really happy about it... BUT he just doesn't act that way. I write him texts asking how his day went, he never asks me how mine went.. Today after 2 days of not texting I wrote him a text asking him about a book (Obvious pretense to start a convo). He writes back after like 6 hours. It was a friendly text but just nice. He even mentioned having his free day tomorrow and that he is really excited. But no mention about us maybe meeting up... Any advice on that? Am I overreacting? Oh and I'm 24 he is 28 and we've been dating for 1 and a half months ( I know not too long). That pretty much sums it up. You're friends who have dates sometimes. You seem to want more, whereas he doesn't. Edited November 21, 2013 by ExpatInItaly 1
todreaminblue Posted November 21, 2013 Posted November 21, 2013 some guys find it hard and run a bit scared when you are first exclusive, they have exactly the same worries as we do of getting hurt of letting too much emotion show and scaring the other away.....you cant be sexy and loving every conversation unless it is just about the sex....some times its nice just to converse in a nice way develop a firm friendship and a conversation that flows easily from oen toppic to the next.......by text anyway .......most guys arent huge texters.......if a guy i was with didnt ask me about my day ....i would start a text to coax conversations for the future...i would say hey did this today, seen this today .......how was your day........there are bigger things that are more worrying than a guy asking about my day..... if a guy when he is with you is affectionate and smiles at you often when he is hugging you wants to be exclusive with you ...then give it a chance ...get to know his texting style...get to know him better and then you will know if something is off....it is too early to tell..i would suggest call him more than text you are exclusive so use text for important or urgent conversations......promote face to face and voice time.....deb
charlietheginger Posted November 21, 2013 Posted November 21, 2013 Maybe its becuase he works 70 hrs a week and is tired... I would cut him some slack.... please understand and try putting yourself in his shoes 1
ascendotum Posted November 21, 2013 Posted November 21, 2013 (edited) Maybe its becuase he works 70 hrs a week and is tired... I would cut him some slack.... please understand and try putting yourself in his shoes Bingo! This is going to be a big factor in his delayed communication and low level of txt initiation. I know some people will say it only takes a minute to send a txt, but if this guy is flat out and under stress it wont cross his mind while he is busy with business. That assumes he is not sitting around waiting for customers....but even then he might be stressing out over slow cash flow. His mind is on his new business. I would also add what ExpatInItaly said could easily also be part of this situation. You two are FWB and maybe he feels daily communication is not part of such arrangements. I know you feel disappointed when he does not reciprocate with 'how's your day been', but I'd mention it too him when you catch up next and see what he says. Your FWB situation does not = "he's happy to be exclusive, but doesn't act accordingly" Edited November 21, 2013 by ascendotum
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