Daisy2013 Posted November 20, 2013 Posted November 20, 2013 (edited) My husband refuses to go with me to spend time with my family 1 1/2 hours away for Thanksgiving or Christmas. We've been married 15 years and the majority of holidays have been spent apart with me and the kids going to my relatives Thanksgiving and he his family. For Christmas, we spend Christmas Eve with his family, then split up again Christmas Day, unless I stay home and go with him. Which I do sometimes. His family is large and tight and can have a party by themselves. Mine is "dull" to him, but I consider it something that needs to be done...doing both family things. He just flat out says no and that I can go do what I want. We have many issues which I won't go into here. I've posted in another thread how things are. He also hates the holidays as he doesn't save money to plan, so NEVER has any to spend, and carries on and curses about it all. Does anyone else have this issue? Would you put up with it? I've been considering a divorce, but once I bring it up for real, there is in turning back. This isn't the deal breaker, but it hurts and the best present ever that he could give is some of his time. I don't even need a gift. He doesn't care. Each year I find myself wishing I could go to sleep about now and wake up after the new year. Edited November 20, 2013 by Daisy2013 spelling
d0nnivain Posted November 20, 2013 Posted November 20, 2013 After 15 years I can't see him changing. It's a shame really because he's being kind of a jerk about it but since you have put up with it this long, & he doesn't stop you from seeing your family, is it really worth breaking your marriage? Is there any way you can host your family at your house so he will be there?
imfine Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 My exH was like that. It was his family's way, end of discussion. Of course this was just a taste of his lack of respect or concern for me. I advise you to think long & hard about divorce. You will have to spend half of the holidays away from your children most likely. Your H doing his own thing is a piece of cake compared to waking up ever other Christmas without your kids.
Author Daisy2013 Posted November 23, 2013 Author Posted November 23, 2013 Thanks. It is more than just this. This is just one issue. My children are 18 and almost 17, and now that they are almost grown, I have some thinking to do about what I want in my next phase of life. 1
Shepp Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 After 15 years I can't see him changing. It's a shame really because he's being kind of a jerk about it but since you have put up with it this long, & he doesn't stop you from seeing your family, is it really worth breaking your marriage? Is there any way you can host your family at your house so he will be there? I agree with this really! For me it'd be a deal breaker! I love everything Christmas related and im very very tight with my family - if a girl didn't like my family it'd be game over, I couldn't go a week like that let alone a year, but I think you just need to come to your own conclusion about whether or not its a dealbreaker for you! My girlfriend doesn't have any family so theres no question of splitting time but must confess I wouldn't of been keen on spending the holiday away from my family, but if she had of had family then I would of just taken over hosting and had both out familys come! The more the merrier, right? I love hosting anyway.
Author Daisy2013 Posted November 24, 2013 Author Posted November 24, 2013 He has a large family and his sister's or mom's is the meeting place so it is no go here. I don't mind going to his family celebration. I just wish we could do one of them with my family. Either one, he could pick. To me it is being considerate. He spends a lot of time with his family. Lots do weekends watching ball games and stopping in after work, before he ever comes home.
Recommended Posts