Absjean Posted November 20, 2013 Posted November 20, 2013 Hey I would appreciate some advice, long story short My boyfriend of 5 years ended things suddenly a few months ago. As far as I was aware- we was fine, I mean the guy was still telling me how much I mean to him and that he loves me so much I was heartbroken/still am He told me he was a rubbish boyfriend and he wanted to refine himself?? I didn't have any choice but to accept it obviously for a few weeks after I was needy and begging him for us to try and he was having none of it. I have always been there when he's mistreat me I forgive straight away, when he needs me am there, when he's not come home cause he's at parties I forgive, when he text or class I answer straight away-I could go on but I think you get where am going. I recently started the no contact rule and within 24 hours I get a phone call asking how I am....?!! Is he starting to realise what he's chucking away? Is he only starting to notice because am not texting him... Is he starting to miss me now I have finally stopped being there for him? I decided to just leave contact as you don't no what you have got until it's gone right. Any advice please guys 1
todreaminblue Posted November 20, 2013 Posted November 20, 2013 if you are using no contact to get him back i dotn believe it works like that....and as far as guys realizing what they lost......try not to hold your breath on that.,....i wouldnt hold on to anything by going no contact, its how you let go, not hold on..just move on and be happy ....heal .........deb 2
Author Absjean Posted November 20, 2013 Author Posted November 20, 2013 It's weird how he never takes notice in me then asoon as he thinks I am not there he's intouch. I believe in the you don't no what you got until it's gone ect. And I have always been there so no contact maybe the key x
todreaminblue Posted November 20, 2013 Posted November 20, 2013 It's weird how he never takes notice in me then asoon as he thinks I am not there he's intouch. I believe in the you don't no what you got until it's gone ect. And I have always been there so no contact maybe the key x i guess.......anything is possible..nothign is impossible scenario...if you truly want to believe in something ....you will.......doesnt make it true though in every case.......so it is a risk. i would question motivation of wanting what is no longer his in place of true emotion and love and affection on his behalf........i wish you well and hope whatever happens you find your happiness with a guy who deserves you........hugs...deb
Author Absjean Posted November 20, 2013 Author Posted November 20, 2013 But can you realise you do love the person and maybe just needs space? Love is a horrible game that I don't like playing
Absinthe Posted November 21, 2013 Posted November 21, 2013 Walk away and move on with your life. There is nothing else you can do. The old adage "the best revenge is living well" rings true here. Human beings are contradictory creatures. We love being wanted, even when we don't reciprocate those feelings. As soon as our admirer goes away, our ego is dented. Some will try and claw some of the attention back, but people who are emotionally mature don't try and win over people we don't even want. You sound as if you tolerated many of his misdeeds so as not to appear nagging or uptight (a common mistake). He knows he acted badly, and now he feels no respect for himself nor for you for letting him get away with it. So show him you can stand up for yourself and move on. Move on for YOU. I feel you deserve better than this guy - he sounds like a loser. You should feel that too. 2
Kofybean Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 (edited) No he just wants to make sure you were ok. There is a difference between losing something and leaving something. Your title said he lost you. Curious. It amazes me at how blind some can be to their partners needs. I can guarantee everything was not fine, and the break up was not sudden. At least not for him. In my case when a girl has said that after a break up it was cuz I was so exhausted of her draining every ounce of energy from me. So sure. The relationship seemed perfect for her. Idk about your situation but at the very least you should own up to the fact that he'd been dealing with this break for a long time before he said it and the fact you never saw it coming means you weren't entirely in tune with his needs. Maybe the fact you have a no contact rule means you aren't so draining and he feels better about it. Idk your situation though. Hey I would appreciate some advice, long story short My boyfriend of 5 years ended things suddenly a few months ago. As far as I was aware- we was fine, I mean the guy was still telling me how much I mean to him and that he loves me so much I was heartbroken/still am He told me he was a rubbish boyfriend and he wanted to refine himself?? I didn't have any choice but to accept it obviously for a few weeks after I was needy and begging him for us to try and he was having none of it. I have always been there when he's mistreat me I forgive straight away, when he needs me am there, when he's not come home cause he's at parties I forgive, when he text or class I answer straight away-I could go on but I think you get where am going. I recently started the no contact rule and within 24 hours I get a phone call asking how I am....?!! Is he starting to realise what he's chucking away? Is he only starting to notice because am not texting him... Is he starting to miss me now I have finally stopped being there for him? I decided to just leave contact as you don't no what you have got until it's gone right. Any advice please guys Edited November 23, 2013 by Kofybean
Author Absjean Posted November 24, 2013 Author Posted November 24, 2013 well... Kofybean i think your very wrong as i have not contacted him for 5 days and hes already told me he misses, and the reason for this post was basically asking... can you think you dont love someone because your on top of each other constantly and maybe when you have a bit of time separated can you realise how much they actually did mean to you and that you do love them ? xx
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