Ignoring Experiences?

[JohnnyLoverBoy]

Hello guys can anyone share stories where you Ignore your ex attempt to contact you?

 

- Did they contact you again after you ignore them?

- How long they contacted you? Months? Years?

- Did you get back together?

 

I've been noticing that male dumpers are more persistent when their Ex GF ignore them.

[chris21422]

I had an ex before were together for only 3 months. She broke up with me

 

I ignore every attempt she did. We broke up last March 2011 and till December 2011 she keep on contacting me till she finally gave up.. Her last attempt is Merry christmas. LOL

 

Man I'll say this if you treat the girl right when you are together. they do comeback and realize what they lost cause when they see the world out there there's a lot of jerk and bad people who will just treat them like sh*t!

[barky2]

1). Yes multiple times, I've said it once and I'll say it again, they'll move a damn mountain to get you back if that's what they want.

 

2). I've had my (ex) start after 3 months, have had one come back after 12 years.

 

3). Yes me and my ex got back together. After almost a year dude, so don't hold your breath.

 

And just because I did, I don't want anyone holding out hope because it happened.

 

 

 

 

Barky

[2fargone]

Most of mine came back if I let them. Mostly after a few months, one 2 times within a week. With the last one I doubt she will though.

 

 

Besides I don't ignore to get them back. I can't even see it as ignoring. I just don't initiate and depending on what comes I will either reply or not. But that usually happens after I've accepted the reality as it is.

Edited November 20, 2013 by 2fargone

[d0nnivain]

I broke up with somebody for a lot of valid reasons but I still loved him.

 

About a year after we broke up I got a real sense that something was horribly wrong in his life. A few minutes of investigation seemed to confirm my suspicion so I called him. When he answered I said, "Don't hang up. Something's telling me something is really wrong in your life. How's your father? Can I help?"

 

Turned out his dad was in a coma. Don't ask me how I knew but I did.

 

We talked for about 2 hours. He was with his dad in another state. I susccessfully resisted the urge to hop on a plane & go help him.

 

When we ended the phone call, I made him promise to call me if anything happened.

 

About a month later I read his dad's obituary in the paper & was dissappointed that he hadn't called to tell me. I "forgave" him because he was grieving & it's not like I was still his GF. One of the issues that broke us up was his poor communication & unwillingness to let me in.

 

Not knowing what to do, I reached out for his brother because my parents really wanted to go to the wake to pay their respects but nobody wanted to upset the family more by showing up.

 

My EX's SIL called me back. She said that nobody wanted to impose on my elderly parents by making them travel to the funeral but that everyone was so comforted by their willingness to do so. She also said my EX would call me after the funeral. He never did.

 

At that point I realized he'd never change & he'd never think I was good enough to be his wife / life partner. It really helped me to move on but I was glad I reached out because I truly loved his family. To this day -- 12 years later -- I miss his neice but know that he & I weren't meant to be.

[Sugarkane]

Wow this is a tearjerker. I feel jealous, I've only had a dumper contact to gloat that they were doing better off without me. Nothing sincere like this.

I broke up with somebody for a lot of valid reasons but I still loved him.

 

About a year after we broke up I got a real sense that something was horribly wrong in his life. A few minutes of investigation seemed to confirm my suspicion so I called him. When he answered I said, "Don't hang up. Something's telling me something is really wrong in your life. How's your father? Can I help?"

 

Turned out his dad was in a coma. Don't ask me how I knew but I did.

 

We talked for about 2 hours. He was with his dad in another state. I susccessfully resisted the urge to hop on a plane & go help him.

 

When we ended the phone call, I made him promise to call me if anything happened.

 

About a month later I read his dad's obituary in the paper & was dissappointed that he hadn't called to tell me. I "forgave" him because he was grieving & it's not like I was still his GF. One of the issues that broke us up was his poor communication & unwillingness to let me in.

 

Not knowing what to do, I reached out for his brother because my parents really wanted to go to the wake to pay their respects but nobody wanted to upset the family more by showing up.

 

My EX's SIL called me back. She said that nobody wanted to impose on my elderly parents by making them travel to the funeral but that everyone was so comforted by their willingness to do so. She also said my EX would call me after the funeral. He never did.

 

At that point I realized he'd never change & he'd never think I was good enough to be his wife / life partner. It really helped me to move on but I was glad I reached out because I truly loved his family. To this day -- 12 years later -- I miss his neice but know that he & I weren't meant to be.

[JohnnyLoverBoy]

wow that's awesome but how about relationships that is 2 years or more?

 

I have a theory that No one got their ex back by ignoring them?

 

 

I had an ex before were together for only 3 months. She broke up with me

 

I ignore every attempt she did. We broke up last March 2011 and till December 2011 she keep on contacting me till she finally gave up.. Her last attempt is Merry christmas. LOL

 

Man I'll say this if you treat the girl right when you are together. they do comeback and realize what they lost cause when they see the world out there there's a lot of jerk and bad people who will just treat them like sh*t!

[organizedchaos]

wow that's awesome but how about relationships that is 2 years or more?

 

I have a theory that No one got their ex back by ignoring them?

 

No one gets their ex back unless the ex wants to come back. Re-read what Barky said above and commit it to memory:

 

I've said it once and I'll say it again, they'll move a damn mountain to get you back if that's what they want.

 

Once they do that, and you want them back, you can stop ignoring them.

[melell]

 

3). Yes me and my ex got back together. After almost a year dude, so don't hold your breath.

 

Listen to this ^^

 

Don't waste your time wondering.

 

mine came back wanting to reconcile 4.5 months in. Ignored them most of the time. It would take 3 weeks (almost to the day) of nc before they would reach out. If I ignored then they would wait another week an then come to my home.

 

Sometimes I would reply. Sometimes I wouldn't.

 

In my experience, if they are going to want to reconcile they will try it at some point, if they don't want to reconcile, they wont. There is no law that will determine when or how it will happen. Read through the posts on ls, it is different for everyone.

[organizedchaos]

I'm about to block my ex's phone number so I will never have to know if or when she will ever contact me. There are still ways she can get to me if she wants to move mountains.

[Simon Phoenix]

wow that's awesome but how about relationships that is 2 years or more?

 

I have a theory that No one got their ex back by ignoring them?

 

I'm not sure if na49 posts here anymore, but he ignored and blocked his ex for months after she broke up with him and she moved mountains to get back with him. Also, my sister is getting married to a guy she told to pound sand for a year after he broke up with her. So your theory is wrong in those two cases.

 

Anyway, if a dumper wants to come back, they won't care if you ignore.

[cavalier99]

I'm not sure if na49 posts here anymore, but he ignored and blocked his ex for months after she broke up with him and she moved mountains to get back with him. Also, my sister is getting married to a guy she told to pound sand for a year after he broke up with her. So your theory is wrong in those two cases.

 

Anyway, if a dumper wants to come back, they won't care if you ignore.

 

haha i dont think NA's ex moved mountains. His block wore off, she called, and she said she wanted back and he caved immediatly lol typical NA. He got what he wanted though.

 

Ohh NA. I miss him and those grim days. They were so fun in retrospect. Except for the suffering over our exs. Cav

[Simon Phoenix]

haha i dont think NA's ex moved mountains. His block wore off, she called, and she said she wanted back and he caved immediatly lol typical NA. He got what he wanted though.

 

Ohh NA. I miss him and those grim days. They were so fun in retrospect. Except for the suffering over our exs. Cav

 

She was pretty persistent though -- she contacted his brother a few times, she tried to contact him while she was blocked, she made a pretty good effort to try to get after him. He did cave pretty quickly once she got through, but it's not like she just sent him one text and that was it.

[landangel]

How long do you keep NC once they have made the first attempt to contact you?

[Simon Phoenix]

How long do you keep NC once they have made the first attempt to contact you?

 

Until you are healed to the point that you don't care what their response to your response is.

[landangel]

what I find hard is convincing myself I am doing it to heal and not to make them come back. I know i have to do it, there is no other option and ive made peace with that. The problem in my heart and mind is KNOWING that I am doing it for my own well being and not holding onto the hope that it will make then want me.... how do you do that?

[melell]

When you are in nc you really do stop caring/hoping as much. The first week after the last contact is always tough, from then on in (for me) it gets easier and easier.

 

Something I have always noticed is that when I was hung up and caring I would think to myself 'they must be upset, they must be thinking about me'

But when I stopped caring I would thing 'they don't care either, oh well, cool'

 

The way we paint the scenarios in our minds is almost always a reflection of our own emotions at that time.

Realizing that really did make me give up on trying to work it out, whatever I thought was always going to be inaccurate because it would change as quick as my emotions.

[2fargone]

I just had a flashback of my first ex ever. It was an on/off thing, mostly because of her father. I met her in school.

The neighbours daughter send me a valentines card while it was off again. So I started something with her.

 

 

May 5th was ex's birthday. A couple of days later she was at the door saying 'but you send me a birthday card'. I didn't send anything.....

 

 

Mind you, this was pre-internet and mobile phone. NC was a lot easier and more 'natural' then....

[JohnnyLoverBoy]

Is there any moment that they contact then suddenly gone for so long then contacts again?

 

When you are in nc you really do stop caring/hoping as much. The first week after the last contact is always tough, from then on in (for me) it gets easier and easier.

 

Something I have always noticed is that when I was hung up and caring I would think to myself 'they must be upset, they must be thinking about me'

But when I stopped caring I would thing 'they don't care either, oh well, cool'

 

The way we paint the scenarios in our minds is almost always a reflection of our own emotions at that time.

Realizing that really did make me give up on trying to work it out, whatever I thought was always going to be inaccurate because it would change as quick as my emotions.

[MoooOinkBaaa]

Yeah but he did ignore all her previous attempts at contact, all her breadcrumbs then months later she said she wanted to be back together. Thing is she only came back cause' she couldn't do any better, that's kind of lame.

[JohnnyLoverBoy]

any more stories guys?

[melell]

Is there any moment that they contact then suddenly gone for so long then contacts again?

 

My ex would contact me every 3 weeks without fail.

[landangel]

My ex would contact me every 3 weeks without fail.

 

How long ago was the break up?

 

Who was the dumper?

 

has he still continued to contact you every 3 weeks?

[BC1980]

We both initiated contact for 2 months post breakup. Then, I let him initiate it for the next 2 months, and he was quite persistent. I would always wait hours to a day to answer any text or phone call. I would put off meeting up. He eventually admitted that it was hard for him, and he was scared I had a new boyfriend. He never did want to get back together though, so I went NC.

 

I broke it after 90 days when he went me a birthday gift. He said he missed me, it was so hard for him, cried his fake tears. Then told me in a few years maybe it could work.

 

The lesson is to go NC from day 1. I wasted a tremendous amount of energy on a clown in a grown man's body but can only blame myself. I feel so foolish.

[JohnnyLoverBoy]

Great stories guys.. Keep them coming..