Shaka610 Posted December 27, 2004 Posted December 27, 2004 I can use any and all the advice i could get with this one. Just endend a relationship with a gf whom i dated for almost 4 years till now. It is important to note that this relationship was a strong almost soulmate relationship that deteriorated after the 2nd year due to her cheating. I decided to stay and listen to her "young and naive" excuse. Simply beacuse i was shocked and truley loved the girl. Note that this cheating incident occurred at my apartment that i provided for her to stay. it was after a heated argument amongst ourselves. Anyway apologies and pleading occurs by the girl and i decide to take her back. he following year goes well with the exception of the trust recover i needed. THEN i discover that she was actuslly stripping behind my back at a distant strip club.. (yes it gets worse).. This puts me into depression because not because I am betrayed more because i see a donwfall occuring with this girl. This is a 20 year old girl at the time who was just spiralling towards disaster. So i tried to beg her to stop and i became seriosly depressed b/c of this so i left... 2 months go by and i dont talk to her.. but from what i hear she is a mess and is dying to hear from me. she would try contact me but unsucessfully. So her b-day rolls by and i text her a happy birthday only to hear she is excessively balling to see me... so what do i do... go see her... After a month goes by we are attempting to get back together again. it has its ups and downd primarily due to further issues from the stripping. Anyways august comes by and she stops, only to enter the world of Bartending..... In this bartending job i have my doubts with but trust her enough to know where todraw lines. This was an attractive flirtatious girl whom i accepted as such.. I just asked for her to not disclose any personal info to people... then more ups and downs occur. So much so we break up and make up.. etc. but finally upon the last instance i find that even when with me (although very well hidden) she still contact many men.. I never had a problem with other men as long as they were from her college as friends or co-workers.. anyways i get suspicious and decide to leave... Only to find out from her roomate that she WAS EXCESSIVELY INTO AND HAD SEX EITH MULTIPLE MEN. This includes many one night stands.. i question the credibility of these statments only to have the roomate (whom was having $ issues with my ex) visibly describe an incident where she walked in on a tall handsome built man "drilling" her laughing when seeing the roomate and going back to busiess... anyways that is enough for me to leave. the roomate claims there were MANY men not just one. Including some afternoon quickies etc... nonethless as obvious at it sounds to u, i was mindblown. I sent her a message telling her i found out and im done... ahe didnt respond at all untill the next week with an email showing a pic of an infected male private part saying "i think u better get checked" NOW and this is the worst... I was always loyal to the girl but remained unprotected... i now have an STD from which was contracted from her. So here are my questions... 1) How can an attractive girl like her put herself into such disgusting situation 2) How can she have the nerve to keep me around and claim loyalty even to an extent of seeking counseling for us both? 3) How cruel can a person be to put me into a situation where i would be infected due to my devotion and unconditional love for this girl.. 4) MOST IMPORTANTLY... will "justice" ever be served (since i am through) 5) Will she ever realize what she has done and ever feel guilt for her actions 6) What do i do from here? I am so hut by a betrayal i could never imagine 7) Do u think this is a self esteem issue or just evilness? Well of course now she is on a quest to "marry a millionaire" so trust me when i say ima ge over this and laugh at her... but at the same time a lot of me feels for this girl's issues (which i could never define) and her future.
munkeygirl Posted December 28, 2004 Posted December 28, 2004 I'm really sorry for your pain. You should definately never contact this person again. It sounds like she was completely using you and is a very F*cked up individual. to try to answer your questions.. 1) attractiveness has nothing to do with it.. she probably just likes male attention as well as using men. She uses her attractiveness to get what she wants. this answers question #4.. *will justice ever be served*.. My mother always says you wind up with the face you deserve. She will undoubtably look like a cracked out hag in ten years 2)How can she have the nerve to keep me around and claim loyalty even to an extent of seeking counseling for us both? - She is messed in the head, has no moral virtue and will say anything to get what she wants *which is you supporting her financially or otherwise* 3)How cruel can a person be to put me into a situation where i would be infected due to my devotion and unconditional love for this girl.. - hey.. she doesn't give a rats a*s about you or your health. 5) Will she ever realize what she has done and ever feel guilt for her actions ?- is is very possible she will eventually when she grows up a bit. But then it will be way too late for her because you will be happy and with a decent, loving beautiful woman and she will be a disgusting dried up whore 6) What do i do from here? I am so hut by a betrayal i could never imagine - do things for you. Date yourself.. Take all the energy you were putting into her an put it into you. Work out, do nice things for yourself. get closer to your friends. try to have a good time and eventually you will be 7) Do u think this is a self esteem issue or just evilness? Its probably a mixture of both. she probably doesnt really understand the reprecussions of what she is doing and doesnt care either. anyway, you deserve better. *big hugs* take care of yourself and don't talk to that nasty whore
Author Shaka610 Posted December 28, 2004 Author Posted December 28, 2004 What u said is the consensus i am getting from most people... like i said im just so damaged at how i could have been so blind to these things and not leave before i have reached this level... If u can tell or not.. I dearly loved this girl.. any problem of her's was mine times ten... and alhough she is atractive I am as well and have had no problem with women.. but that wasnt the point for me.. i thought she was a companion and a partner as she portrayed such.. She really has killed my well being.. the thought of being so used but at the same time missing someone is so pathetic yet painfull. Like u wote justice may be served but this girl is so good i have a feeling she will always lie and cheat her way through things... other q's 1) How can i get the "visions" of her cheating out of my head... (anyone who has seen unfaithful or eyes wide shut know what I mean) 2) Should I even bother to find out more info... 3) Will she ever attempt to contact me again. (a fear of mine b/c of how manipulative she can be)
Pocky Posted December 28, 2004 Posted December 28, 2004 I think that you should stop worrying about why she does this to herself and why she did this to you and move on. No one benefits from vengeance and hoping she "gets hers" is a very negative way of proceeding through life. I understand what she did to you was wrong, but you have to make a decision as to whether or not you're going to fester in it and allow it to affect your life or if you're going to move on. Understand that one day she will be accountable for her actions regardless of what you do or don't do. Come to terms that there is a natural justice to all things and the only thing you should be focusing on is taking care of yourself and moving forward.
Author Shaka610 Posted December 28, 2004 Author Posted December 28, 2004 I am letting it effect my life.. like i said i am one of those "overthinkers" who just let this stuff bring me down. This especially because I would never do this to anyone in my life, not even an enemy..
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