deponie12 Posted November 20, 2013 Posted November 20, 2013 Today is day # 16- I feel like I am dying, I think about him and wonder if he thinks about me. It ended horribly, I am in shock still. The only way he can contact me is through my office phone at work. I blocked him every other way to help me move on and heal. The weird thing is, I am sad that he has not tired to call my office phone. I guess he is happy with the girl he left me for.... after 3 years of togetherness. feeling hopeless.......
ks0985 Posted November 20, 2013 Posted November 20, 2013 Hang in there...this is the best for you and the reality is you deserve better and by giving yourself time apart you will soon realize this trust me
chris21422 Posted November 20, 2013 Posted November 20, 2013 It's really hard.. I'm on day 35.. sometimes I feel like giving up when that happen I try to call someone else like friends or family and the urge is gone.. I think it doesn't mean they don't reach out that they don't miss us. Sigh who knows what they are thinking.. My Ex gf reach out day 22 of NC... Hang in there
d0nnivain Posted November 20, 2013 Posted November 20, 2013 Yes, NC will get easier but not any time soon. The holidays have a tendency to heighten the fact that the person isn't there. By the time NC works you will have no idea what day it is because you have moved on & stopped counting. Hang in there.
Author deponie12 Posted November 20, 2013 Author Posted November 20, 2013 Thank you all- You are correct, all the Christmas music and decorations at stores has got me blue. I use to love shopping for him. I'm so hurt... Ugh! I will get through this....... I see my therapist tomorrow, she usually makes me feel better too. Thank you all for your support. This is like a death.... or worse, because I know he is still "out there"
Eddie007 Posted November 20, 2013 Posted November 20, 2013 While I have not 100% moved on I can tell you it does get easier if you stick to STRICT NC. I just went and added them up because I have lost track. Today is day #95 since we split and I went NC from that day forward. I do still think of her and wonder what shes up to, but its not near as painful.
Stay Posted November 20, 2013 Posted November 20, 2013 I don't know how I did it but after finding out I was cheated on emotionally from what I found out, all the lies, trust that I've lost put me in a no contact position that was fairly easy. A lot of hatred was there and I was sad and depressed. I didn't care anymore and just went out with friends, talked to some people and met a girl that took my mind off of her a lot. I went about 6 months of NC before I met and talked to her yesterday because of a party. It went well except the fact that I think she realized the grass isn't greener and kept saying she miss me and cried. Idk what to take from that. But yes meet some people and remember that he left you for someone else, to me that's a huge betrayal and stab in the heart. There's no way i'll be second and you shouldn't be either so think of it as gone, burn all the bridges and that's it.
reddragon588 Posted November 20, 2013 Posted November 20, 2013 For me it was around 45-50 days when it started getting a lot easier. It gets easier every day, but around 45 days it becomes the norm for you and you actually forget what it was like before.
organizedchaos Posted November 20, 2013 Posted November 20, 2013 I think the first thing that will help is when people stop counting the days of NC. What does that accomplish but a record of your agony in waiting? Stop counting the days and just go about your life. 2
Stay Posted November 20, 2013 Posted November 20, 2013 I think the first thing that will help is when people stop counting the days of NC. What does that accomplish but a record of your agony in waiting? Stop counting the days and just go about your life. I agree with this, I've never counted and once in a while I think to myself and count. To my surprise I think wow it's been 3 months since I've talked to her and that's the end of that, I go on with my life again. It's hard but what is counting going to help you do?
organizedchaos Posted November 20, 2013 Posted November 20, 2013 I agree with this, I've never counted and once in a while I think to myself and count. To my surprise I think wow it's been 3 months since I've talked to her and that's the end of that, I go on with my life again. It's hard but what is counting going to help you do? I think when you stop counting, you'll stop remembering, and you'll let go.
Author deponie12 Posted November 20, 2013 Author Posted November 20, 2013 Great advice. Thank you all so much. I just had a good cry in a co workers office. I have good days and bad, today for some reason has been the worst! I am calling in sick tomorrow to have a "mental health" day- I have my therapist scheduled and some "me" time I deserve. I will also stop counting. I need to let this man go, we were toxic-- out of three years, that first year was amazing, and I think that's all I can think about, thinking it was something it was not.... just a fantasy I replay in my mind.
barky2 Posted November 20, 2013 Posted November 20, 2013 Nc gets easier when you choose for it to get easier. When you finally put your damn foot down and say screw this, you're sick if being sad , down and out and want to be that happy person again. That's when it gets easier. In the grand scheme of things, you've just begun nc so it's understandable that you're still finding it hard to cope. But you've done so much work to get to this point, don't break it and start the cycle over again. When they're ready, they will reach out. I promise you that. Barky 1
crederer Posted November 21, 2013 Posted November 21, 2013 For me it never really got easier per se. It just was replaced with other thoughts, feelings and actions. But I still have an itchy trigger finger.
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