Eddie007 Posted November 20, 2013 Posted November 20, 2013 My ex fiance and I were together for over 4 years. She dumped me more than 3 months ago. It was a pretty amicable split. No fighting or harsh words. We have not seen or spoken to each other since. I went NC from day 1. I have been talking and texting this girl I met through online dating. She is really nice and our personalities seem to gel. We are going on our first date this evening. This will be my first date since the break-up. I have spoken with other girls in the past but I eneded up not persuing it because I felt I wasnt ready. Over the past few weeks I feel like its finally time to take that next step. I'm very excited about a possible new beginning, but part of me feels like I am doing something wrong. I havent been on a first date in almost 5 years. Is this something normal Im feeling or am I perhaps not as ready as I thought?
d0nnivain Posted November 20, 2013 Posted November 20, 2013 It's not that long after you ended a serious long relationship. Your mind & heart became wired that your EX-FI was the only one. That is no longer true because you split but it feels different. Have fun on your date. Enjoy the newness of it all & experience what it's like to be with someone who is not your EX. The date will order foods that your EX would not & she will have different subjects to talk about. Embrace the novelty. Whatever you do, don't talk about the EX & your split on this date. Have fun!
mammasita Posted November 20, 2013 Posted November 20, 2013 Completely normal. Just go and try to focus on having fun. Don't expect to fall in love or have intense chemistry but just have fun and be open to having a connection with your date. I know the first couple dates I went on after my break up, I held back tears because all I could think about was my ex. It was rough. I know I made it though and you can too!
Jmk21 Posted November 20, 2013 Posted November 20, 2013 Have fun out there! I've went in dates with 4 diff women since my split. First date I almost felt guilt so I didn't see her for another month. But I've yet to meet a girl I actually have that connection with. Gonna have to meet alot more than 4-5 for that lol. Maybe I'm dating too soon idk. But I refuse to idly set by. I'm 25 and one sexy mofo and I'm not passing ANYTHING up anymore. Every girl at least has a few hot friends
Pa76 Posted November 20, 2013 Posted November 20, 2013 It's good to get out there and meet people. Just make sure you do not lead another person on. I was just dumped cause his ex messed him up. He realized he didn't want relationship ten months into it. Well I think it was sooner. Anyways so remember there is this girl who has feelings. Be up front and honest!
Haydn Posted November 20, 2013 Posted November 20, 2013 Go for it mate! Best trousers on and finest foot forward! Have a great time and dont mention the ex! Remember to go double dutch on any bill. Dont want to appear a push over. Take care.
Jmk21 Posted November 20, 2013 Posted November 20, 2013 Agreed with above post. NO beta WHITE KNIGHTING You are the prize. I went into every date with this mentality and have had more meet ups from every one of them 1
mikei880 Posted November 20, 2013 Posted November 20, 2013 Agreed with above post. NO beta WHITE KNIGHTING You are the prize. I went into every date with this mentality and have had more meet ups from every one of them " you are the prize", well put! Just have fun and roll with it, don't expect anything other than the date. Get your legs under you. There are tons of girls out there! Good luck....
Author Eddie007 Posted November 20, 2013 Author Posted November 20, 2013 So you all are suggesting I do not pay for the date? Maybe Ive been out of the dating game for too long but this doesnt seem right to me. Am I just too old fashioned?
Mariposa10 Posted November 20, 2013 Posted November 20, 2013 Just like you it has been over 5 years (the time I've known my ex boyfriend) that I haven't gone out on a date with another guy. I will do that in January. In January it will have been six months since my breakup. I think I will be ready. I will not be looking for a serious relationship though, but you never know I might fall in love again. Good luck and keep us posted!
Haydn Posted November 20, 2013 Posted November 20, 2013 Mate, its really up to you. But have a great great time. Let us know. Goodluck.
mtnbiker3000 Posted November 20, 2013 Posted November 20, 2013 So you all are suggesting I do not pay for the date? Maybe Ive been out of the dating game for too long but this doesnt seem right to me. Am I just too old fashioned? Who asked who out? The person who invited should pay in my mind... 1
Chi townD Posted November 20, 2013 Posted November 20, 2013 My ex fiance and I were together for over 4 years. She dumped me more than 3 months ago. It was a pretty amicable split. No fighting or harsh words. We have not seen or spoken to each other since. I went NC from day 1. I have been talking and texting this girl I met through online dating. She is really nice and our personalities seem to gel. We are going on our first date this evening. This will be my first date since the break-up. I have spoken with other girls in the past but I eneded up not persuing it because I felt I wasnt ready. Over the past few weeks I feel like its finally time to take that next step. I'm very excited about a possible new beginning, but part of me feels like I am doing something wrong. I havent been on a first date in almost 5 years. Is this something normal Im feeling or am I perhaps not as ready as I thought? Very excited for you dude! No, you're not doing anything wrong. And the best thing you can do tonight is go out there with absolutely NO EXPECTATIONS with the only exception that you're going out on the town TO HAVE SOME FUN in the company of a pretty girl that you get along with! That's it! And be honest with the girl. Explain to her that you're looking forward to the evening, but you just came out of an engagement and all you're looking for is to have some fun and treat her to an evening out. And if things go well, perhaps some more fun times in the future. I think she'll appreciate your honesty. Keep us posted on how your date went!
d0nnivain Posted November 20, 2013 Posted November 20, 2013 So you all are suggesting I do not pay for the date? Maybe Ive been out of the dating game for too long but this doesnt seem right to me. Am I just too old fashioned? No. If you are the guy, assume you are paying. If she pays or offers, it's up to you but especially if you did the asking, you should be doing the paying. When they were saying you are the "prize" they were trying to help you focus on your positive self: that you need to see that she's not going oout with you through pitty; you are a good guy & she's going out with you because she wants to, because you are a catch.
organizedchaos Posted November 20, 2013 Posted November 20, 2013 So you all are suggesting I do not pay for the date? Maybe Ive been out of the dating game for too long but this doesnt seem right to me. Am I just too old fashioned? If you asked her out, pay for the date. Do not go dutch or this will be your last date with her. Just don't make it anything fancy or expensive.
mtnbiker3000 Posted November 20, 2013 Posted November 20, 2013 If you asked her out, pay for the date. Do not go dutch or this will be your last date with her. Just don't make it anything fancy or expensive. Yeah... I went on a date with this girl two weeks ago and just had coffee at Starbucks. Boom. Under $10. Then had a lunch date at a small hole-in-the-wall Thai place. Bam. $30. Then made her dinner at my apartment. Pow. Under $20. First 3 were on me. Now the ball's in her court... No need to spend bank when first dating. Keep it inexpensive, but still fun and entertaining. And I agree. You go dutch, and you can forget about this girl. LOL!!!
Author Eddie007 Posted November 20, 2013 Author Posted November 20, 2013 I agree. The thought of not paying never crossed my mind until I saw someone suggest it. I thought maybe I had been out of the loop too long and things had changed. 1
Chi townD Posted November 20, 2013 Posted November 20, 2013 No dude! Pay for the date! Show her that chivalry isn't dead! She's the one that agreed to go out with you; therefore, it's you're opportunity to shine and "wow" her! And what I mean by "wow" is the simple little things. Girls tend to notice the smallest of gestures. Opening the doors for them, pulling out the chair for them, offering them your hand while climbing or going down stairs; especially of they're wearing heels. They are going to remember the small things the most and it won't cost you a dime to impress them. For example, me and the wife were talking in bed one night and I asked her what was the most memorable date I ever took her on. She told me the second date we ever went on. That's when she knew she was falling for me. Well, that second date, I went all out! Planned the ENTIRE day with her filled with different activities and restaurants, the only sport she ever participated in was she was an equestrian rider in her youth but hasn't ridden in years. So, I took her horseback riding. Took her shopping afterwards, did things I knew she would like and it set my wallet back a pretty penny. I said, sure with all the things we did..... she said, "It wasn't all of those things. Yeah, they were fun and I had a great time, but what did it for me is that you held my hand." See, back then my wife suffered from a nice case of Psoriasis and her hands were hamburger. (she's fine now, all cleared up) But, she said that I didn't get grossed out and it didn't bother me. That her case a psoriasis wasn't her fault and it didn't stop me from making her feel special. That's when I "wow"ed her and it didn't cost me a dime.
Author Eddie007 Posted November 21, 2013 Author Posted November 21, 2013 Well the date went well. She was very nice and funny. I had a good time and didnt think of my ex once. However I don't think she is the one for me. I didn't feel anything other than relief to be out. Overall it was a very good day. I feel like I took a giant step forward. I was not nervous at all and taljking came easy. I looked good and felt good about myself. For the first time in a loooong time I feel...... Single..... And I'm ok with that. 4
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