jrizz0 Posted November 20, 2013 Posted November 20, 2013 So ever since my ex and I of 3 years broke up I've been experiencing the waters of online dating. I've never done anything like it and I don't think I'm ready to go pick up any woman outside the online dating scene as of yet. The main problem I'm having is I don't know where I'm going wrong when I'm hanging out with some of these girls in person. Most of the girls I've met on this site I text for about a week (exchange pictures, talk on the phone etc.) and then we end up hanging out. I'm one of those guys where I'm a little shy at first but I'm relaxed and I just go with the flow. These girls seem totally interested when we're texting and talking. I send them pictures and they will always compliment whichever one I send, even if it looks aweful, making me feel liked. The problem is I feel like these girls interest levels drop from 75 to 25 after we hang out and it sucks. They will text me all day (with time in between) and then after we hang out I don't even receive a text saying I had a great night; I honestly don't understand. I don't hide anything from these woman, I'm not bigger in person then my pictures would give off. This girl I went out with tonight was one of those girls that looked ok in pictures but when I saw her in person I was blown away at how good she looked. This girl was one of those ones who get emotionally attached extremely easily, so I knew there'd be a chance it wouldn't work out anyway. I go to meet with her at the mall and she sees me, smiles but doesn't give me a hug which was alright, no big deal. She tried to make contact with me but pretty much avoided contact most of the night. It was her, her friend and I all talking and bsing. This girl I met was saying crazy things like wanting to be a stripper, and even though she was joking that's stuff I'd expect someone to say around there friends, not someone you just meet and have total interest in. Anyways I was enjoying her company, but when I said I was going to leave she didn't even get up to give me a hug goodbye. It's been 4 hours since the date and she hasn't texted me once. I texted her telling her I had a good time but I still haven't heard back from her. I was never the guy who got mad or jealous when it didn't work out with a girl but I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Sorry this was so long, I guess I'm sort of venting
Author jrizz0 Posted November 20, 2013 Author Posted November 20, 2013 bump, sorry for the bump but it was almost on the 3rd page and I really need advice :/
CptSaveAho Posted November 20, 2013 Posted November 20, 2013 stop online dating... stop being their "friends" stop texting them all day/night sleep with them faster 2
unbeknown Posted November 20, 2013 Posted November 20, 2013 Pretty much what the above said. What are you texting them? I do the same as you (a lot of people say only text to set up the date rather than every day but I've always gone with the flow) but my texts are very playful rather than friendly. When you meet up make sure she isn't bringing a friend. Hug her when you greet her. Be confident and lead. The girl you mention sounds quite horrible anyway. Just stick with it. Online dating is a numbers game. You need to be prepared to put a lot of effort in for not a lot out. Every once in a while though you will connect with someone. I find 90% of girls on there are very shallow even if they don't admit to it. The ratio of guys to girls is stupidly in their favour and they will continue to date and date and date because they have that option. I'm not saying all do but for many that's the case. Like I say though, there are some exceptions and if you're prepared to stick it out they're totally worth it. Be prepared for a lot of rejection though. Good luck!
Uwaae Posted November 20, 2013 Posted November 20, 2013 You seem very emotional. Expecting to get a hug like some lkind of child. Why do you expect anything? From your whole post, all that I understand from you is that you "Play it safe". When you do that, people know that they're not getting the real "you", they are getting the representation of "you". Have more fun and dont play it so safe. You might get somewhere
devilish innocent Posted November 21, 2013 Posted November 21, 2013 I used to be one of those girls who would meet guys on-line, and then not have much interest after the first date. For the most part, with only a few exceptions, there was really nothing wrong with any of these guys. They were nice, relatively intelligent, generally good looking, etc. It was just that nothing would ever jump out at me to say this is a guy for me. I pretty much got the impression they usually felt the same way about me as well. Like I was just one of a bunch of girls and not anyone they were particularly interested in. At least a couple of times, I was even really excited when I was talking to the guy on-line, and I just assumed it would carry over to when we met in person. Then it never did. I think it was because I'd build up an image in my head of how I expected them to be, and then they'd be a different person in real life. I guess all I can suggest from my experience is just wait for the girls that truly interest you, and then don't hide the fact that you're interested in them. If you like somebody, let it show. Then if she doesn't seem to feel the same way, try not to take it personally. It's unlikely you're doing anything wrong. The girls have got a lot of other options of guys they can meet on-line so they're waiting for when the feeling is mutual. If you keep at it, eventually you'll make a connection with somebody. I'm also not sure why you're disappointed that a girl didn't hug you at the beginning and end of the date? I wouldn't really expect anybody to hug someone the first time they met in person. Maybe at the end of the date if things have gone well. But even then I think most girls expect the guy to make that move
Johnson1 Posted November 21, 2013 Posted November 21, 2013 Pretty much what the above said. What are you texting them? I do the same as you (a lot of people say only text to set up the date rather than every day but I've always gone with the flow) but my texts are very playful rather than friendly. When you meet up make sure she isn't bringing a friend. Hug her when you greet her. Be confident and lead. The girl you mention sounds quite horrible anyway. Just stick with it. Online dating is a numbers game. You need to be prepared to put a lot of effort in for not a lot out. Every once in a while though you will connect with someone. I find 90% of girls on there are very shallow even if they don't admit to it. The ratio of guys to girls is stupidly in their favour and they will continue to date and date and date because they have that option. I'm not saying all do but for many that's the case. Like I say though, there are some exceptions and if you're prepared to stick it out they're totally worth it. Be prepared for a lot of rejection though. Good luck! Okay, so with all that being said, where is the best place to meet a woman. It seems the online dating thing is too much of a crap shoot.
Kansas87 Posted November 21, 2013 Posted November 21, 2013 Are you sure the pictures you're sending them before you meet are accurate? Like, positive? Because honestly it sounds like they are into you and then they meet you and you are in some way MUCH different than they expected. I've had this happen before. Guys always say that girls only choose pictures that flatter them, but guess what? They do the same thing. If it isn't appearance, it could be demeanor. Sometimes it's easier for shy people to seem confident and flirty via text or online, and then in person it just doesn't work. I'd go with what others are saying: less texting and talking before meeting, just meet up. Get to know each other that way. BOTH parties' expectations will be lower, there won't be as much on the line, and you'll be more relaxed.
Author jrizz0 Posted November 21, 2013 Author Posted November 21, 2013 Thanks for the responses everybody, I guess I didn't really expect every girl to be interested in me, and you're right when you say I've always played it safe. I can definitely agree with the whole texting them back all day thing. I will lay off and see what happens! thanks so much.
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