daughter_judy Posted November 20, 2013 Posted November 20, 2013 Ex bf and I broke up a month ago after 4 years. He kept telling me to move on, so I did an online dating profile but he admitted to getting freaked out when he saw it. I'm totally confused by this. He kept telling me to move on but when the process actually started, he got upset. I don't understand why he would even care. 1
Simon Phoenix Posted November 20, 2013 Posted November 20, 2013 Ex bf and I broke up a month ago after 4 years. He kept telling me to move on, so I did an online dating profile but he admitted to getting freaked out when he saw it. I'm totally confused by this. He kept telling me to move on but when the process actually started, he got upset. I don't understand why he would even care. Because even though he doesn't want you, he doesn't want anyone else to have you. He wants to have you as an option if everything else doesn't work out. It doesn't mean anything as far as him wanting you back. 3
Author daughter_judy Posted November 20, 2013 Author Posted November 20, 2013 If that's the case (and I'm not saying it isn't) why would he go out of his way to bring it up? Why not just ignore it? I would have seen that he looked at my profile even if he hadn't said anything.
Simon Phoenix Posted November 20, 2013 Posted November 20, 2013 If that's the case (and I'm not saying it isn't) why would he go out of his way to bring it up? Why not just ignore it? I would have seen that he looked at my profile even if he hadn't said anything. To see if he still had an effect on you, to see if you were still hooked. And it seems like you are.
r321148 Posted November 20, 2013 Posted November 20, 2013 Do you not also have to have a profile to look at these things? If so that means he has a dating profile too? So...he's allowed to have one but you're not. Until I saw that I kind of understood. One month is quite quick to be trying dating again after a 4 year relationship and he probably wasn't expecting it and got a bit upset despite what he said. It still definitely doesn't give him the right to get on your back about it though as he broke up with you and you guys aren't together. However as he's made a profile then that pretty hypocritical and you should just ignore him. On another note, I wouldn't recommend dating so soon after breaking up. Get yourself back first and then go back into the dating game. I tried to move on too fast recently and all it actually did was set me back as I ended up comparing every girl I went on dates with to my ex. Not good for me or them. 4
melell Posted November 20, 2013 Posted November 20, 2013 In the first months following a break up things are always a bit chaotic like this. He may care now, but in 6 months from now I really doubt it will bother him much. From everything I have read both dumpers and dumpees are quite often like this in the early stages. It changes very little though.
Author daughter_judy Posted November 20, 2013 Author Posted November 20, 2013 Do you not also have to have a profile to look at these things? If so that means he has a dating profile too? So...he's allowed to have one but you're not. Until I saw that I kind of understood. One month is quite quick to be trying dating again after a 4 year relationship and he probably wasn't expecting it and got a bit upset despite what he said. It still definitely doesn't give him the right to get on your back about it though as he broke up with you and you guys aren't together. However as he's made a profile then that pretty hypocritical and you should just ignore him. On another note, I wouldn't recommend dating so soon after breaking up. Get yourself back first and then go back into the dating game. I tried to move on too fast recently and all it actually did was set me back as I ended up comparing every girl I went on dates with to my ex. Not good for me or them. Yeah I really just went on there to boost my confidence. It's working - apparently most guys in my area are pretty awful. 1
Author daughter_judy Posted November 20, 2013 Author Posted November 20, 2013 To see if he still had an effect on you, to see if you were still hooked. And it seems like you are. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't still very much in love with him. 2
Simon Phoenix Posted November 20, 2013 Posted November 20, 2013 I'd be lying if I said I wasn't still very much in love with him. Oh we know. Otherwise you wouldn't have started this thread. Unfortunately for you though, it doesn't mean what you want it to mean.
Author daughter_judy Posted November 20, 2013 Author Posted November 20, 2013 I know. It doesn't mean anything to him. A part of me thinks it never did.
Author daughter_judy Posted November 22, 2013 Author Posted November 22, 2013 To see if he still had an effect on you, to see if you were still hooked. And it seems like you are. I just re-read this and it got me thinking. Why would he want to see if I'm still hooked on him? That's the part I don't understand. If he's moved past our relationship, why should anything I do matter to him? Especially since he urged me to move on multiple times. I feel like that doesn't make sense.
Simon Phoenix Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 I just re-read this and it got me thinking. Why would he want to see if I'm still hooked on him? That's the part I don't understand. If he's moved past our relationship, why should anything I do matter to him? Especially since he urged me to move on multiple times. I feel like that doesn't make sense. Because having someone else want you is an ego boost. It always feels good to know that someone is into you, even if you don't want anything to do with them. It makes perfect sense and is basic human psychology.
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