Runnersx Posted November 20, 2013 Posted November 20, 2013 (edited) Like everyone here, I'm dealing with a breakup. It was short-lived, but ended badly. Anyways, I've gotten wiser dealing with these situations and I'd like to offer some helpful thoughts to everyone feeling crappy now. First off, once dumped, don't EVER badmouth an ex, get angry, beg for them back. I did this once when I was 17 and dumb and not only does it not work and made me look desperate, to this day I cringe thinking about how I acted. Even if they badmouth to get a rise out of you, don't take the bait. They will expect you to beg, be angry, be sad. But you must cut all contact once they have pulled the trigger of getting rid of you. Bow out gracefully and act like they never existed. Your standing in their eyes will go up 10 fold. Now, onto the dealing.... Accept that its over. You have to realize that your ex was thinking at least a little while about dumping you before it happened. And once they utter those words letting you go, there's no turning back. Even if you think they will come back, you shouldn't be hoping for that. THEY DUMPED YOU. You both must live with that decision now. Why would you want to go back to someone that dumped you anyways? Your self-worth is not tied to one person. This is big. I guarantee that what you are feeling now is not particularly a longing for your ex as much as it is of a needing of alleviation from the hurt of being rejected. You need affirmation now that you are as good-looking, fun, smart, great as you think you are, since the person you were with rejected all that. So remember your accomplishments in life, all the compliments you have received, all the good people in your life that enjoy you, all the interesting places you've been and all the talents you have. There's millions of other potential partners out there who will accept the person you are and will be fascinated by you. One person shouldn't have so much power over you and determine your self-worth as a great and loving person. Only you can determine your worth. Things aren't what they seem. Someone else on here said this and its true. I bet there were so many red flags prior to your relationship falling apart but you chose to ignore it because you a.) were already attached through sex to this person and ignored the danger and b.) thought you couldn't do any better. Remember her shady behavior? Or his insults? Her comments that made you cringe? Or your seemingly incompatible demeanors? Its high time to remember these signs, not only to understand why things fell apart but to recognize them in the future. And once you hone your ability to read people better and end the relationship before they dump you, your confidence in dealing with these situations will skyrocket. You control your thoughts and emotions. Not your neighbors, not your family, not your friends, and certainly not your ex who is no longer a factor in your life. If the roles were reversed and you ended up dumping your ex first, you would feel much different now. That's because you would feel as if you had more control over your feelings then you do now. So now its time to control your emotions, your thoughts, your life. Go out and meet new people, dive back into your hobby and get good at it, exploit your talents. Take control of your life because YOU DO have control. You and only you have the ability to turn this situation around. You must realize that no one can take that from you. People dump others for a whole slew of unknown reasons. Its not all about you. The person you were dating could just not want to be in a serious relationship, have deep insecurities, have never gotten over an ex...the fact is there were probably a bunch of reasons why it ended and you never will truly know what the other person was thinking/feeling. Constantly over-analyzing it will drive you mad and is really pointless though. Time to move on. That's it. I'll put up more once I think of them, but these few points have really helped me get through any breakup. Stop dwelling on this one person and move on. There are MILLIONS of people out there. Stop and think about that. MILLIONS. Don't let one person take you down. Edited November 20, 2013 by Runnersx 2
Recommended Posts