Moving too fast? I think I'm getting mixed signals or am I reading too much into this

[NTRDR]

For the past 2 years I've been purely "dating" after getting out of an 8 yr relationship, so I guess I'm just used to going out with a lot of women and used to the revolving door so to speak.

 

Anyhow I made a very huge connection and also the chemistry/attraction is insane as well, but everything is happening very fast... I'm just wondering if it's TOO fast...

 

I'll just bullet point this as not to draw it out TOOOOO much...

 

-Have had sex, it is very good, says she just feels so comfortable with me open and safe

-Spent the past couple weekends together

-She has introduced me to her friends

-She has shown pictures of me to her family (they are in another state)

-She makes comments about future plans and events we "should attend together" as well as meals she wants to make me

-My Birthday was our second "date" and she bought me a few gifts and took me to dinner even though I SPECIFICALLY TOLD HER NOT TO

 

 

But she's also said this and it gave me some mixed feelings:

-doesn't know how to be in a relationship

-is still trying to find herself

 

I told her I'm not trying to label anything, and that I'm just trying to enjoy the moment and being with her when I am, that she's free to do as she pleases and so will I.

 

Her answer was "Have you ever thought that maybe I can still find out about myself being with you" We were having sex at the time BTW so I just ignored that last comment.

 

Ok WTF... was she just testing me with the above statement just to see what I would respond with???

[winstonsdreams]

Sounds like she is a bit crazy but so are most girls. There may be more to it than she is telling you but you are playing the situation very well.

 

I would advise you hold off on the feelings side of things and see how it goes. Either she has some major walls or she has other stuff going on.

 

I think you're doing great though so play it cool!

[NTRDR]

thanks - i am trying not to let my emotions take over me - like i said i've been pretty damn good at not getting emotionally involved over the past couple years, i'm single and still dating because i CHOOSE to be, dating lots of women does get old though, actually it got old a long time ago but i won't just settle for anyone, guess knowing you have options does that to people i don't know.

 

thanks again

[NTRDR]

Well she just invited me on a weekend getaway to meet some friends of hers...

 

Just going to go with the flow and avoid any "confessing of feelings" on my part.

[NTRDR]

Oh man I have a 6th sense about these things!

 

Ok well today we were talking and she was telling me about how she told her parents about me now... blah blah... ok...

 

So then during the conversation she says something like Ooooh... I shouldn't say anything... I'm confused... then says I don't want to say anything, I don't know if I should, well ok, but don't get irritated ok?

 

Anyways turns out that she was dating someone before me that went away on a project, and has now returned... and she's feeling guilty when she returns his texts, and that he wants to meet her, and she feels guilty because of me.

 

What I told her was that it's ultimately her decision to make, and to not feel guilty, just do what feels right to her and that's that.

 

She said that she does like me more and has this big connection and all that, I just said Hey look, you're going to do what you're going to do, I'm not going to guilt you into anything, EVER. ANYTHING you ever do with and for me will be because YOU want to, not because I want you to. PERIOD.

 

I'm on my way to MMA class right now so that's the end for now...

 

Should I have done anything different?

[d0nnivain]

Just keep doing what you are doing. Over analyzing it & trying to put text around it will make it fail.

 

You will be find doing what is working.

[ja123]

You are getting mixed signals.

 

You're not reading too much into this.

 

She's disrespectful to you.

 

She doesn't know who she is or what she wants.

 

She's not even worth trying to be an FWB because as she keeps trying to get you "hooked" emotionally.

 

I'd move on.

[NTRDR]

Just keep doing what you are doing. Over analyzing it & trying to put text around it will make it fail.

 

You will be find doing what is working.

 

I don't really plan on changing, but I think I'm going to go ahead and go back to dating other people as well. We'll see.

[NTRDR]

Well she still seems to be "confused"... she brought it up again that this guy she was dating is back, and keeps texting her, and even though she still hasn't seen him that she "kind of" wants to, that it might even be good for her to prove to her that she's just into me. But she said of course she cared for him, she was dating him, he's a good person, blah blah blah.

 

My response was:

If it's something you need to do then that's what it is. If it doesn't work out between us it doesn't work out.

 

After our talk this was the text I got:

Wow You are a beautiful soul I am sooo moved by this...thank you so much. You know what happening? We are becoming closer We're creating a friendship and a healthy relationship Thank you for allowing me to be myself To be vulnerable And true w you I adore you I do And now I need to take care of owning that feeling about myself Xoxoxo

Edited December 1, 2013 by NTRDR