AHaze Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 (edited) So your situation is, she's slightly older than you, pretty and petite... quite bubbly and dippy, there's definitely no sense or attitude of "superiority", but the fact is, she's still your boss. You're one of the youngest in your place of work, clearly in better shape than most, more well-groomed and stylish than most... she's the same, maybe she relates? and maybe that's why she's always undressing you with her eyes, constantly looking at you, touching you... even boasts a slight bias/preference in your favor over others. Conversations are always light heart'd & jokey, spirits are always high in the place of work, rarely do things ever get serious, and there's a lot of people around, so you never really find a situation for a 1to1 encounter/conversation... You sometimes talk work-related things by text, sometimes even out-of-hours, you could definitely create an opportunity to test the water... start some blatant flirting and get personal.. if you wanted to, But she's your boss, "never get your pussy and paycheck from the same place" springs to mind"... You really like your job, it's the making of the new you, it's your current main focus in life and you would be devastated if something was to ever get in the way of it... You're single, you're 110% emotionally free & available, you're not F'ing anybody at the moment, you're not doing much socially outside of work... and to be fair, a brief F-buddy or even a ONS would be a treat right now... Go there? Don't even go there? Edited November 19, 2013 by AHaze
Keenly Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 I don't have the time right this second to read your post, I'm sorry. But if the question on the title sums it up, this is a REALLY bad idea. Its actually on the top ten of bad ideas. What you want to do is flirt with her. Get her interested. But don't ever kiss her or have sex with her, or hang out during work functions. Don't lead her on, just be nice. Always good to have your boss on good terms.
pteromom Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 Don't go there unless you don't really care if you lose your job. 2
TylerDurdenn Posted November 20, 2013 Posted November 20, 2013 Boss as in manager or boss as in managing director
Fondue Posted November 20, 2013 Posted November 20, 2013 That post sounds eerily like the relationship I have with my boss. Except for the text messages. She doesn't know my personal number. And to answer your question, HELL NO. Terrible idea. Absolutely terrible. This should be #1 rule in any career oriented person's life: "Don't **** where you eat."
StanMusial Posted November 20, 2013 Posted November 20, 2013 So your situation is, she's slightly older than you, pretty and petite... quite bubbly and dippy, there's definitely no sense or attitude of "superiority", but the fact is, she's still your boss. You're one of the youngest in your place of work, clearly in better shape than most, more well-groomed and stylish than most... she's the same, maybe she relates? and maybe that's why she's always undressing you with her eyes, constantly looking at you, touching you... even boasts a slight bias/preference in your favor over others. Conversations are always light heart'd & jokey, spirits are always high in the place of work, rarely do things ever get serious, and there's a lot of people around, so you never really find a situation for a 1to1 encounter/conversation... These things could, and would change on a dime. Don't do it.
Author AHaze Posted November 20, 2013 Author Posted November 20, 2013 Boss as in manager or boss as in managing director Boss as in.. assistant manager of 1 small base/building - of an international, market leading franchise.
RedRobin Posted November 20, 2013 Posted November 20, 2013 You are probably being played. Having your ego pumped up probably makes you work more effectively or share info with her you wouldn't otherwise. In other words, don't let it go to your head. I seriously doubt there is any real opportunity here. Nice fantasy though, eh?
Author AHaze Posted November 20, 2013 Author Posted November 20, 2013 You are probably being played. Having your ego pumped up probably makes you work more effectively or share info with her you wouldn't otherwise. In other words, don't let it go to your head. I seriously doubt there is any real opportunity here. Nice fantasy though, eh? No. You've imagined the scenario in a twisted way... played? for that to happen I'd have to first be willing and at least showing some interest.. which I'm not. There's a difference between interest and curiosity. I'm not here asking "how", I'm here asking "if I should"... which implies, I could if I wanted. 1
crederer Posted November 20, 2013 Posted November 20, 2013 I wouldn't make the move but if my boss made a serious move on me, I can't even lie, I'd totally go for it. Even though it's a bad idea. 1
RogerWallace111 Posted November 20, 2013 Posted November 20, 2013 Sounds like yes, she'd potentially be into a f*cking, and that in and of itself would be fine. But, as people are stating, it could get ugly down the line. You have to make your own judgement on this woman's potential to get crazy/clingy/manipulative but it wouldn't be unheard of to end up in a situation where you're forced to appease her with sex/affection/company as to keep your job.
crederer Posted November 20, 2013 Posted November 20, 2013 Sounds like yes, she'd potentially be into a f*cking, and that in and of itself would be fine. But, as people are stating, it could get ugly down the line. You have to make your own judgement on this woman's potential to get crazy/clingy/manipulative but it wouldn't be unheard of to end up in a situation where you're forced to appease her with sex/affection/company as to keep your job. Which also sounds kinda hot......(being blackmailed into sex by your boss). But again, probably better in fantasy than real life.
Ninjainpajamas Posted November 20, 2013 Posted November 20, 2013 If you know what you're doing....great idea. This lady could swing open the doors for you with an opportunity (women get opportunities all the time for their looks and many shag the boss so comparatively you're not really out there with this idea) and since you're a young guy she's probably realistic about the long-term investment being none...it's not the same dynamic of younger woman older man, you don't have a vagina so you're less likely to become emotionally engrossed with your new older lover and starting getting all hopeful and live in a fantasy...you already know the line not to cross and you'll keep things on a balance. If you don't know what you're doing and don't tread carefully then you could have things blow up in your face, and end up with an emotional psychopath on your heels that could make your life a living hell if you press all the wrong buttons...in which you better hope she isn't crazy and less vindictive where she would go the extra mile...some guys love to piss women off and really play with fire, and it can backfire if you get caught in the cross-hairs. Otherwise, don't date anyone else at work...and you better be careful and sure she's really into you, at the least she'll be flattered that a younger guy is into her if you make an innocent "mistake".
deathandtaxes Posted November 20, 2013 Posted November 20, 2013 Worst idea in the workplace. Go out and get your jollies elsewhere. Work at work. It has the potential to explode in your face. It has ramifications for you, for her, for your coworkers - ramifications you probably haven't thought about. If you're as young and fit as you say you are - why not go enjoy lady company elsewhere? What exactly do you have to prove?
Author AHaze Posted November 25, 2013 Author Posted November 25, 2013 did it Saturday night, easy.. requested her on facebook on saturday night, got talking.. got invited for "chill and drink", left her house early hours Sunday morning with another notch on the bedpost. Work was fine today, a bit of a "guilty secret" feeling floating around when we were both around everybody else, but it wasn't awkward between us directly. Not really interested in seeing her like that again, it's not something we mentioned and I definitely don't want to go any deeper now, just hope she feels the same way.
crederer Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 did it Saturday night, easy.. requested her on facebook on saturday night, got talking.. got invited for "chill and drink", left her house early hours Sunday morning with another notch on the bedpost. Work was fine today, a bit of a "guilty secret" feeling floating around when we were both around everybody else, but it wasn't awkward between us directly. Not really interested in seeing her like that again, it's not something we mentioned and I definitely don't want to go any deeper now, just hope she feels the same way. Your last paragraph is probably the part that will come back to haunt you. You should have had that conversation before/after the deed.
Author AHaze Posted November 25, 2013 Author Posted November 25, 2013 Your last paragraph is probably the part that will come back to haunt you. You should have had that conversation before/after the deed. I doubt it, she's cool, she's longterm single.. I think she knows the script.
crederer Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 Maybe you should pull her aside and have that conversation just in case.....seriously I've been there (not with a boss but with someone that had close personal ties) and you know what they say about assuming.......
Author AHaze Posted November 25, 2013 Author Posted November 25, 2013 Maybe you should pull her aside and have that conversation just in case.....seriously I've been there (not with a boss but with someone that had close personal ties) and you know what they say about assuming....... I wouldn't say no persay, if the situation does arise again.. All I'm worried about is again, then again.. and again, and again, and then "what next?" and "what are we?" starts being asked, Then again I'm probably over-thinking it, and in any case I've already made my bed now so I'll lay in it either way.
Ninjainpajamas Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 Depends on how good of a job you did in the sack...if you were a good little boy she might call on you again to provide your services. And that I would recommend not turning down, you don't want to hump and dump the boss. Otherwise if the question comes up about what's next, just site your age and what you're looking for. Unfortunately however, I'm beginning to think you are in the "don't know what you're doing" category...but hopefully you make it out of this ok due to your age and she knows what's the deal. She might not even press for a next time at all.
Author AHaze Posted November 26, 2013 Author Posted November 26, 2013 Depends on how good of a job you did in the sack...if you were a good little boy she might call on you again to provide your services. And that I would recommend not turning down, you don't want to hump and dump the boss. Otherwise if the question comes up about what's next, just site your age and what you're looking for. Unfortunately however, I'm beginning to think you are in the "don't know what you're doing" category...but hopefully you make it out of this ok due to your age and she knows what's the deal. She might not even press for a next time at all. You're talking as if there's a 10 year age gap... by slightly older I'm talking 2 years older, we're in the same age bracket, stop making it sound like I've banged my 40 year old cougar boss. She's 24 I'm 22. I do know what I'm doing, if I didn't then I wouldn't be paranoid, I know there's always going to be a risk getting involved with somebody at work (especially a superior).. and that's why I'm edgy.
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