egor401 Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 So my girlfriend and I broke up after 15 months. We were a long distance relationship say each other on weekends and so forth. I was nothing but sweet to her and she said she really loved me. I bought her a diamond promise ring that she said she always wanted. She told me she wanted to be with me forever because I was the perfect man. I would surprise her with flowers on sunday mornings or take her on cute trips. Iwould take off work to surprise her. I even helped her move into her new place and fixed it up. I would do everything for her. Home made dinners with candles and flowers. When she had a rough day I would show up with a stuffed animal. I took her to see my family and on the way back right before she went back to school she told me I had nothing to worry about that school wouldnt change a thing. After a week of school she said she needed a break sometime to figure things out at her new school and it was overwhelming and I was shocked bc weve dated while she was in school before. I knew she was having a tough time with the relationship being distant but i had plans to move there and I guess she had trouble seeing it go somewhere. But she always said the distance was never an issue for her. After two days of no contact she called at 1 am saying how much she loved me and missed me and im all she ever wanted and couldnt be without me ever. I was so happy and the next day i said couldnt wait to see her and i loved her. she said i love you too. then i didnt hear from her all day. I called her and texted on my work breaks like normal. she finally responded and said she may have spoke too soon and appreciated all i had to say but it wasnt a long enough break. I was so confused and said i wanted to come talk and she said no and not to come that weekend. obviously i was crushed after that phone call at 1 am. And heres were i made the mistakes. I pushed her away by calling her to much begging her and she dumped me via text saying she was having to much fun with her friends but she really loves me and said i wasnt ready for her. I said so many dumb things to her out of hurt and anger and confusion. she just ignored me. I found out that a week after she dumped me she got a new bf. I was so upset and said mean things like how could you cheat you always lied to me. she said she never cheated and i was just obsessed with her and to stop contacting her Now I know this was a mistake. I should of left her alone and given her space. I do know she really loved me and this guy is just a rebound because hes physically there all the time and I couldn't be. Did i ruin it for good? did i push her away forever? Does she really just not love me anymore? Do you think she will come back to me after how clingy and crazy i got? I was thinking of sending her just a apology letter cause i feel bad the last thing she has in her head of me is im a crazy person. Is it a good idea to write her a letter saying I'm sorry for acting that way when you dumped me and I know i pushed you away and nothing more?
Zahara Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 Please don't send the letter to her because it will reinforce your inability to stop pushing. I'd be very grateful to have such a thoughtful boyfriend like you. You seem like such a sweet guy. You both are young and she is expanding her wings and moving on. What you have to give will be appreciated by someone that will see you for who you are and all you have to give. I would suggest you go NC and let her be. You didn't ruin anything. You reacted because you were emotional and we've all done that. I think she already made her mind up to move on to someone else, whether you acted crazy or not so don't blame your actions for pushing her away. I can't tell you if she will come back but one thing is for sure, you need to accept that it's over. Stay NC and heal from this. 1
MoooOinkBaaa Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 This is a very common scenario I see on here. Guy gets dumped, their X gets a new boyfriend less than a month later. Vice versa. I'm gonna take ya blinders right off. She met this new guy THEN dumped you, not the other way around. This is why you can't understand how she could do this after all you exchanged. Well this is what happens man, an upgrade turns you into a whole new light. They will see you from a different angle now so all that old lovey dovey crap doesn't matter anymore. Dump her too, she's dumped you first but you can dump her right back and move on by not contacting her ever again. 1
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