longjourney Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 I've been sitting here thinking about BEFORE DDay. On your wedding day, what was the number of you thinking your now WS would cheat on you? I wonder if we are all SO duped. Are we all honestly so easily conned? I thought I was waiting late enough in life, we weren't too young. I had been in a long term relationship before and thought I knew the difference between that relationship and the one I had with my WH while we were dating. I thought, no I KNEW he was the one. He stood by me through some things that would alter our future lives for ever. He still stayed and wanted to M me. I knew he has a strong libido, but that didn't pause me to think. I guess I just felt SO lucky that he chose to stick with me. Now I look at couples getting married and wonder if they know what they are getting themselves in to. NO ONE is immune to infidelity, NO ONE. 1
ChooseTruth Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 I certainly didn't guess it. I couldn't even guess it when the signs were right in front of my face 14 years later. I was offended when my father warned me it might happen (it was already happening)
Confused48 Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 There are people who ignore signs and marry someone who they will have problems with whether faithfulness or other. I have to say I fall into this category. I never had the feeling it wasn't possible. But on Dday I still felt completely blown away. I really never expected the level of lying and deceit. The down in the gutter depraved behavior. I thought WS would never do what WS did. Not even close, even though I did think WS was capable of something less but still very bad.
Spark1111 Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 Never thought it.... He pursued me to marry him. he loved being a husband, father, provider. he loved having sex with me and did so frequently even during his affair. Red flags in hind sight? He did not have a good relationship with his parents and spent his entire adulthood trying to prove, through work and possessions, that he was worthy of love. Needed, needs lots of validation. Workaholic. Generous to a fault, but I often wonder if that too is a way to gain recognition. So, in hind sight, he is vulnerable to compliments, ego-stroking, flattery. An easy mark if someone reads him....and they do.
Snowflower Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 I think there are very few people who think on the day of their wedding that their soon-to-be-spouse will be the type to cheat on them. Who would marry someone they would assume will eventually cheat? 3
Mr. Lucky Posted November 20, 2013 Posted November 20, 2013 I think there are very few people who think on the day of their wedding that their soon-to-be-spouse will be the type to cheat on them. Have to agree. Although it would make for some interesting wedding vows, along the lines of "I do...until I don't" Mr. Lucky
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