My bf said he wants to be alone..y cant he just man it up and tell me the truth

[krooton25]

We've been fighting (actually started because I was being jealous of girl he went out with without telling me). We got back together after first fight and he said that he wasn't doing anything to cheat.

 

We fought again a few times after that and he said that he got really upset and he doesn't know anymore what he wants. (I asked him if it was ME thats making things hard for him and he said no, he said it is about him. He said he has family issues, gf issues, and past gf issues - coz he was telling me that all his past relationships ended with jealousy-basically the girl was being jealous, and that I told him how insensitive and disrespectful he was to me which had been a problem in his past relationships as well)

 

I told him that it doesn't matter and we just needed to get over it and forgive each other. But he keeps on making up excuses such as he is confused with his feelings and unhappy with himself right now..but that it has nothing to do with me. WWTF? So the relationship continues and we still date and stuff after that.

 

I approached him once and asked him why he is always short tempered and if is irritated at me sometimes. (He is having mood swings like one day he is totally fine and sweet and the next day is super short tempered and is very quiet) I just don't get it. I asked him if there is another girl involved and if he doesn't love me anymore. Because if he doesn't and thats what's gonna make him okay, then i will let him go even if It hurts. He said that he is NOT falling for another girl (should I believe this?) and that he wants to be alone and take a vacation! I asked him why, he said because he doesn't want me to put through this situation coz he knows that he is hurting me already. I stopped right there and told him that I'm here to be with you, pls don't turn your back to ppl who truly loves you. And I told him that miss the old him (thats loving and kind) and that I love him. I told him how stupid I am to still keep on fighting for him even if there's really no reason left for me to stay.

And he replied back..that he loves me too.

 

Okay so I thought we are over. I didn't contact him after that anymore then next morning, he texted me (like a normal day for us) and says good morning and i love you baby. Okay so i replied with the same thing. I did not text him anymore that day after that, and that night he texted me again and asked me where I was. I replied and he started chatting with me like nothing happened.

 

This is really confusing for me. I am hurt because when I asked him before, I told him to give me a reason to fight for you. Tell me that you still love me, and he said that he doesn't know what else he can do for us. He is just so upset. He can't even forgive me if I had done him any mistakes! I have forgiven him a long time ago..

 

I mean wtf... what I feel is that, he is either guilty for hurting me and doesn't wanna break it off to my face. BUT I will never be the one to break up. It's his choice to leave me, I love him. So if his feelings have changed, he should be man enough to tell me this. Im hurting each day coz he wont tell me how he exactly feels... I don't know if he's faking his sweetness and kindness to me.

 

I hope that he is not dragging this and waiting for me to finally give up. I expect more than this from him. If he did love me and once cared for me, he would be man enough to tell me that I should let him go so I could be happy with someone else who will love me truly and he is just not that person. BUT he won't.. instead he would blame IT all on me and use this to say that the relationship fell apart because I was being jealous all the time. (So i would feel guilty and still stay on his side trying to fix myself when there is really nothing wrong with me) I am just so disappointed with my bf, though I love him, I don't want to give him the relief of not having a burden to leave me. It is so easy for a guy to tell his friends and the whole world that the girl left him- and that he is not the reason for the breakup. BUT that is not the real problem..I am here and willing to fix things. So if he wants to end it, he should be man enough to tell me.

 

If you guys have any similar experience on this, pls tell me what to do!

Edited November 19, 2013 by krooton25

[aznirishanna]

I was in the same situation. But I did end up having enough of the game playing and cowardice move to "make the girl end it with you". But now I regret it every single day. If you don't want to be the pining ex who wants a second chance, FIGHT for it. Don't fight him. Do not pressure him, or make him feel like he has to figure things out right away. Actions speak louder than words. If you love him, LOVE HIM. Show him that you care. And if he still does not reciprocate in a way that makes you feel loved back, make the decision of whether you have enough confidence to leave, regardless of how he'll tell the world how you two ended. Just my opinion. I hope it helps!

[Balzac]

BUT I will never be the one to break up.

 

If that's your bottom line, cancel the whine w dinner. You've given the guy a. blank check.