salem mark Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 every thread ive posted on here is in regards to the same woman,maybe i just cant say goodbye to her. I never contact her (she ended it).but always reaches out to me every few months we live 1000 miles apart. i visited her after a year ago after much begging from her it went well for first 2 days,not so much the last 2, i regretted it on the flight back. anyway, my dog died and sent a blast email to friends that knew him. she was in the list and replied with a very caring/sweet email. She knew how important he was to me. I caved and sent her a thankyou email.She told me she loved me. I didnt respond, now she is calling weekly , i didnt retun her calls. Last week , iwas on call and she called, ipickedup not knowin it was her. She asked my why i havent called, told her i was busy,then asked when i was coming for a visit (WTF?) I said, I havent been invited. She says "you could visit others as well". What?? Told her i had to go. Why is she doing this??
me85 Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 She misses you and more than likely wants you back but probably is testing the waters to see if you feel the same because no one wants to be rejected. Do you still love her/miss her?
Author salem mark Posted November 19, 2013 Author Posted November 19, 2013 me85, yes I do love and miss her,thats why its been difficult to say goodbye forever but she doesnt treat me well,maybe thats just who she is
r321148 Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 I agree. I think she misses you too. It's kind of your call here. If you do want to give it another go then chat to her and see if you can smooth things out. Has there been real change on either part or do all the old problems still exist? If they do then you need maintain NC as you have been doing. If you are sure you are done and you want nothing more to do with her then try saying to her that: for both your sakes you would much prefer it if she doesn't contact you again. Then if she does you can go through steps like getting her number barred (last resort but possible if she won't listen). Sorry I've not read your other threads... Are the damages irreparable? From your last sentence there: "but she doesnt treat me well,maybe thats just who she is". If that's who she is then you should be going for the second option as she will never make you happy. If she can make permanent and real changes then maybe you can try again but you really need to be the judge on that one. Good luck
Author salem mark Posted November 19, 2013 Author Posted November 19, 2013 thanks r321148 she's done this several times in the past (summary ofmy posts) unless she changes nothing will change, when it was good between us it is unusually great, she just always blows itup I gave it my all with her,because I never experienced someone like her
r321148 Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 That's sometimes the way. When things are good they are great but there are just too many negatives to make for a happy and lasting relationship. It sounds like you did the right thing by cutting ties. If she has done it on multiple occasions then until she gives you real and lasting proof that she has changed then I think you need to keep it that way. I suspect even if she does change, she's already exhausted her chances and that you'll never fully trust her again (although that is down to you). I'd say stick at what you're doing. If she can't take the hint that you don't want to hear from her then write to her or take a call from her and tell her that you think it's best for both of you if you don't stay in contact. If she doesn't respect that then you have asked nicely and can take more drastic measures if necessary (blocking phone etc). Good luck
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