starla33 Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 This guy asked me out Sunday for today, but has not told me what time or where or anything. I'm not that interested at this point so kind of want to do the whole didn't hear from you and made plans thing..... what do you guys think?
MidwestUSA Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 As far as I'm concerned, it is NOW OFFICIALLY past the time I would expect to hear from him! (For tonight, really?) So, make your other plans, even if it's sitting in your sweats eating ice cream while watching reruns of something. 2
ShiningMoon Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 That's exactly what some guy did to me. He's not taking your date seriously. Don't take this date into consideration. 1
carhill Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 If he doesn't follow up with details, life goes on. If plans conflict with his followup, reschedule as you deem appropriate, or not. At this point I'd be going about my normal activities and not expecting anything. I used to get all bound up in the mechanics of social contact but learned long ago that people do what they do and, in the big picture of life, it's relatively unimportant. 1
Lansing Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 Depends how you left it. If he didn't say "I will contact you on Tuesday to firm up plans" then, yeah, IF he contacts you today you can say "I didn't hear from you so I assumed tonight wasn't going to work and made other plans" or whatever. No need to initiate contact with him.. Only exceptions are if you told him you would let him know, or, if you weren't sure about something and would check your schedule, etc. Having said that, if I make a plan and tell a girl I will meet her at 6pm at such and such place then I won't re-confirm the day of and I expect the girl to be there.
Author starla33 Posted November 19, 2013 Author Posted November 19, 2013 Ok cool so I'm not being overly dramatic and rude if when I hear from him I say sorry made other plans?
Author starla33 Posted November 19, 2013 Author Posted November 19, 2013 Depends how you left it. If he didn't say "I will contact you on Tuesday to firm up plans" then, yeah, IF he contacts you today you can say "I didn't hear from you so I assumed tonight wasn't going to work and made other plans" or whatever. No need to initiate contact with him.. Only exceptions are if you told him you would let him know, or, if you weren't sure about something and would check your schedule, etc. Having said that, if I make a plan and tell a girl I will meet her at 6pm at such and such place then I won't re-confirm the day of and I expect the girl to be there. None of this happened
MidwestUSA Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 Ok cool so I'm not being overly dramatic and rude if when I hear from him I say sorry made other plans? Nope, not at all. He should have firmed up details when he first asked you. A guy who's really interested would have done exactly that. You tell him Ben and Jerry are waitin'!
carhill Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 You can be even more direct and state that unfortunately he did not follow up in time with specifics so your interest waned and you're no longer interested in going out with him on a date, presuming that's how you feel. If in fact you have made other plans, sure, state that. In any event, he doesn't deserve a reason; if you provide one, it's a bonus. You're entitled to change your mind at any time and for any reason.
Author starla33 Posted November 19, 2013 Author Posted November 19, 2013 Nope, not at all. He should have firmed up details when he first asked you. A guy who's really interested would have done exactly that. You tell him Ben and Jerry are waitin'! He did ask what kind of food I can't eat....that was about it.
ShiningMoon Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 Ok cool so I'm not being overly dramatic and rude if when I hear from him I say sorry made other plans? You probably won't hear from him and you'll have to tell him yourself you made other plans because you didn't hear from him. At that point, he'll apologize and try to reschedule. Then, you'll be able to decide whether or not you want to see him. It's not starting well if the guy doesn't even have the decency to confirm a time and a place. As I said, that's what happened with some guy and it went really south from there. Don't wait for him to get in touch to make plans, otherwise he's gonna think you're just sitting there waiting for his initiatives. Move on. When a man truly wants to make plans, he'll go out of his way to make sure they happen.
Author starla33 Posted November 19, 2013 Author Posted November 19, 2013 You probably won't hear from him and you'll have to tell him yourself you made other plans because you didn't hear from him. At that point, he'll apologize and try to reschedule. Then, you'll be able to decide whether or not you want to see him. It's not starting well if the guy doesn't even have the decency to confirm a time and a place. As I said, that's what happened with some guy and it went really south from there. Don't wait for him to get in touch to make plans, otherwise he's gonna think you're just sitting there waiting for his initiatives. Move on. When a man truly wants to make plans, he'll go out of his way to make sure they happen. Really? Most guys where I live all confirm pretty last minute. Maybe it's an age thing.
ShiningMoon Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 Really? Most guys where I live all confirm pretty last minute. Maybe it's an age thing. Last minute means the night before, not two hours before. I'm sorry but confirming 30 minutes before a date is inconsiderate especially if the other person has other alternative plans. It just doesn't sound good.
carhill Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 Really? Most guys where I live all confirm pretty last minute. Maybe it's an age thing. That's OK. If you feel like going on a date last minute, then do that. If you don't, don't. What is usual and customary in your demographic doesn't have to apply to you. It can, for sure, if you want it to.
MidwestUSA Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 Really? Most guys where I live all confirm pretty last minute. Maybe it's an age thing. I would need 24 hours, minimum. At this point, if he contacted me, I wouldn't even feel it necessary to reply. His loss. 1
ShiningMoon Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 I would need 24 hours, minimum. At this point, if he contacted me, I wouldn't even feel it necessary to reply. His loss. Same here. Planning a date last minute certainly means he's not giving you enough consideration to go out of his way and give you proper confirmation. If you accept a last minute date, you'll always have last minute dates only. It'll make you look like a doormat in my opinion (i.e. if he doesn't have anything better to do, he'll contact you last minute for the date; otherwise, he'll cancel).
Author starla33 Posted November 19, 2013 Author Posted November 19, 2013 Same here. Planning a date last minute certainly means he's not giving you enough consideration to go out of his way and give you proper confirmation. If you accept a last minute date, you'll always have last minute dates only. It'll make you look like a doormat in my opinion (i.e. if he doesn't have anything better to do, he'll contact you last minute for the date; otherwise, he'll cancel). well a lot of people just assume if you confirmed on a day you can confirm exactly where to meet on that day
ShiningMoon Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 well a lot of people just assume if you confirmed on a day you can confirm exactly where to meet on that day I don't know. I don't function like that but to each their own. I guess in your case time will tell.
Author starla33 Posted November 19, 2013 Author Posted November 19, 2013 I don't know. I don't function like that but to each their own. I guess in your case time will tell. right im just clarifying the difference about last minute date(accepting a date on day asked) and confirmation of plans (on said day you planned for). But like I said I'm not very interested so don't want to really go on this date anyway so this is an easy out for me
MidwestUSA Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 right im just clarifying the difference about last minute date(accepting a date on day asked) and confirmation of plans (on said day you planned for). But like I said I'm not very interested so don't want to really go on this date anyway so this is an easy out for me Well, that's the beauty of it. Face it, if you REALLY wanted to see him, you'd take a last minute invite/confirmation. If you want an easy out from something you're not keen on, you've got it. Yea, no wonder men complain about us!
Recommended Posts