CurvyGurl Posted December 27, 2004 Posted December 27, 2004 On a recent romp through a couple of personal ads, I noticed an irritating trend of behaviors and wordings. Perhaps if we publicly bring light to them, people will stop doing it! Some things I have noticed.. harmless till you see it over and over and over and over: 1) I am seeing far too many requests for 'NO DRAMA'. I don't know anyone that posts an ad actually looking for drama. I mean 'gimme some soap opera crap type drama, I want it!' Do you see that? Nah. I think the NO DRAMA qualifier is a no brainer. 2) I think this is a black thing but I see alot of Kings searching for their Queens/Nubian Princesses. I have two words for that. WHAT. EVER. 3) Misspellings in the title. How long does it take to write one of these things, usually? Like, an hour if you're really concentrating on it. So in that hour, they couldn't run the ad through a spelling/grammar check so they'd know that the title should be 'Where your heart is' and not 'Wear your heart is'? 4) I always go back and forth with this one, but those who are incredibly specific.. for example I saw an ad the other day from a man who wanted someone who weighed less than 160 lbs. ON the one hand, he can't help what he's attracted to. On the other hand, I can't mention how much money per year I'd like a potential suitor to pull down a year, but he can dictate how many pounds she can weigh? Unfair. The sheer shallow unfairness of it all sickens me. I know some of you have seen some ads that made your eyes roll so far back in your head that you fearedt they'd get stuck. Time to spill it. Do all of us online daters a favor and tell us what you hate about onine ads!
moimeme Posted December 27, 2004 Posted December 27, 2004 through a spelling/grammar check so they'd know that the title should be 'Where your heart is' and not 'Wear your heart is'? But neither a spell check nor a grammar check would pick that up since 'wear' is a perfectly good word and 'wear your heart' is an acceptable phrase. onine That being a hybrid of 'online' and 'inane'? I think some of it has to do with the type of site you use. Some places seem to attract more interesting people than do others.
indigo_moon Posted December 27, 2004 Posted December 27, 2004 I LOVE this thread hahaha. I read a profile the other day from a guy who was clear in stating that he was only interested in women between 5'2" and 5'10" and between 105lbs and 135 lbs. What a freaking moron....it's no wonder young women have eating disorders...can you IMAGINE a woman who's 5'10" and 135lbs? He then went on to mention he didn't want a woman with children...which I can understand but then he mentioned something weird about how he wanted to "procreate his own children." LOL 1) Dudes who don't know the difference between "solemate" and "soulmate." LOL That one cracks me up...they're either referring to a type of fish or the bottom of a shoe...and these aren't young pups, their grown men who profess to have graduate degrees. 2) Guys who brag themself up, how they're the cat's ass and more...and how they're looking for an "intellEgent" woman........hahaha............what more can I say? 3) Corny opening lines like, "Knight looking for his Princess" or "Looking for a woman to complete me".......ugh, blech, yuck. NEXT. 4) Guys who lay it on thick about how they write poetry, LOVE chick flicks, are gourmet chefs, open car doors for their "lady", bla bla bla. Spare me, dude....it's official, you're totally full of sh*t and we didn't just fall off the turnip truck. 5) Guys who go on and on and on about wanting a woman who's in perfect shape, they describe themself as "fit" yet the triple chin on their face in their picture tells a different story 6) Guys who write one line for a profile, tell nothing about themselves, don't post a picture even............what are they thinking? These are just a FEW of my pet peeves
dyermaker Posted December 27, 2004 Posted December 27, 2004 Originally posted by CurvyGurl On the other hand, I can't mention how much money per year I'd like a potential suitor to pull down a year, but he can dictate how many pounds she can weigh? Unfair. The sheer shallow unfairness of it all sickens me. I don't see what's so shallow about stating a preference. Had he preferred fat people and asked those under 160 not to apply, I doubt he'd be getting drilled. Nothing's stopping you from dictating the income of your matches.
Author CurvyGurl Posted December 27, 2004 Author Posted December 27, 2004 Originally posted by dyermaker I don't see what's so shallow about stating a preference. Had he preferred fat people and asked those under 160 not to apply, I doubt he'd be getting drilled. Nothing's stopping you from dictating the income of your matches. Oh but thou art SO wrong. If I write an ad stating I'd like someone who makes $150K a yr, no less, I can't imagine the flurry of hate mail. ATL women already have a reputation of being shallow. I don't need to help. People don't understand why I hate that particular ad, but that's ok. It just has a shallow ass-ish quality about it that I just don't respond to. I guess if I wasn't heavier than 160 it wouldn't matter, now would it? The other day I got a response from a gentleman and when I read his profile, I was the exact opposite of what he said he was looking for. Guessing that he just looked at the photo and read the first part of the profile, I started asking him questions about WHY he responded to me. He finally had to admit he didn't really read my profile, he just saw the pic and sent me an email about how he thought we fit well together. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmm. I BET you thought we'd fit well together. Horizontally. OY!
indigo_moon Posted December 27, 2004 Posted December 27, 2004 Originally posted by CurvyGurl Oh but thou art SO wrong. If I write an ad stating I'd like someone who makes $150K a yr, no less, I can't imagine the flurry of hate mail. ATL women already have a reputation of being shallow. I don't need to help. People don't understand why I hate that particular ad, but that's ok. It just has a shallow ass-ish quality about it that I just don't respond to. I guess if I wasn't heavier than 160 it wouldn't matter, now would it? The other day I got a response from a gentleman and when I read his profile, I was the exact opposite of what he said he was looking for. Guessing that he just looked at the photo and read the first part of the profile, I started asking him questions about WHY he responded to me. He finally had to admit he didn't really read my profile, he just saw the pic and sent me an email about how he thought we fit well together. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmm. I BET you thought we'd fit well together. Horizontally. OY! I hear ya. I have no time for stupid men who don't bother to read my profile. It's more than obvious that they didn't bother to when they ask me, in chat, "so are you divorced? any kids? where do you live?" I just block 'em because if they are too daft to read the very basics, they're far too stupid for my liking and we'd never make a good match.
Author CurvyGurl Posted December 27, 2004 Author Posted December 27, 2004 Lemme ax ya'll a question, because it is a recent irritation and I don't know if I'm being too harsh or if they're being well.. jerks. Help me out. How... exactly... can I get across to men how much of a turnoff it is to talk for 2 or 3 minutes via messenger or email and then be asked to move to the phone? I mean, is it unreasonable for me to cut it off if they insist on pushing? Because they don't want to type? Or they feel the screen is too impersonal? Maybe I'm being too harsh... I say no, let's wait until we know each other better and then if they push a third time it's clear they want what they want, no matter if I am confortable or not, so I just cut it off. It just... makes me feel like they are 'fishing'. How do you just get on the phone with someone? What's there to talk about yet? Am I unreasonable?
HokeyReligions Posted December 27, 2004 Posted December 27, 2004 http://www.esquire.com/brutal/index.html awe hell, ask what he makes -- he can lie about it as well as the 400 lb woman can call herself "pleasingly plump" thinking that everyones definition of pleasingly is the same.
indigo_moon Posted December 27, 2004 Posted December 27, 2004 Originally posted by CurvyGurl Lemme ax ya'll a question, because it is a recent irritation and I don't know if I'm being too harsh or if they're being well.. jerks. Help me out. How... exactly... can I get across to men how much of a turnoff it is to talk for 2 or 3 minutes via messenger or email and then be asked to move to the phone? I mean, is it unreasonable for me to cut it off if they insist on pushing? Because they don't want to type? Or they feel the screen is too impersonal? Maybe I'm being too harsh... I say no, let's wait until we know each other better and then if they push a third time it's clear they want what they want, no matter if I am confortable or not, so I just cut it off. It just... makes me feel like they are 'fishing'. How do you just get on the phone with someone? What's there to talk about yet? Am I unreasonable? You have every single right to determine YOUR boundaries. I too find it pushy and creepy for someone to want to go from 10 minutes of chat to talking on the phone.........or, some are more brazen.......they want to immediately MEET.....and many have not even had a picture to exchange. What are they, freaking nuts? The vast majority of guys I meet want to meet immediately and that's a big red flag/turn-off to me. Are they desperate? I mean, they don't even know me well enough to KNOW they'd want to meet me....and vice versa. I'm like you, discerning. I like to email a bit back and forth, share the basics...then proceed to a few phone conversations....to see if they can even CARRY on an intelligent conversation...........then if I feel comfortable and like we might have some type of intellectual connection, I will consider meeting..........but any dude who wants to rush the process or skip the steps, screw him..........he'd obviously meet anyone with a vagina and that ain't my kinda man. I love the ones who make lame excuses as to why they don't have a picture to exchange (when they've had the chance to see mine).......they don't have a scanner, don't have a digital camera, are always the one taking the pics and don't have any of themself, they're not photogenic, they feel the make a better first impression in person, they accuse me of being shallow because I want to see their pic (haha), bla bla bla. What the hell are you doing using this method of meeting someone if you aren't prepared to show your picture? Would I walk up to a guy who had a paper bag on his head in public and want to go out with him? There's a lotta losers out there. DOn't back down on what you feel is the right way for YOU to proceed/feel comfortable. Guys who are overly anxious to move things along too quickly are ones you want to stay away from.
erika2610 Posted January 4, 2005 Posted January 4, 2005 Originally posted by CurvyGurl Lemme ax ya'll a question, because it is a recent irritation and I don't know if I'm being too harsh or if they're being well.. jerks. Help me out. How... exactly... can I get across to men how much of a turnoff it is to talk for 2 or 3 minutes via messenger or email and then be asked to move to the phone? I mean, is it unreasonable for me to cut it off if they insist on pushing? Because they don't want to type? Or they feel the screen is too impersonal? Maybe I'm being too harsh... I say no, let's wait until we know each other better and then if they push a third time it's clear they want what they want, no matter if I am confortable or not, so I just cut it off. It just... makes me feel like they are 'fishing'. How do you just get on the phone with someone? What's there to talk about yet? Am I unreasonable? You mean ask you all?
Author CurvyGurl Posted January 27, 2005 Author Posted January 27, 2005 Originally posted by erika2610 You mean ask you all? DUH.
Mr Spock Posted January 27, 2005 Posted January 27, 2005 I was on one of those sites and some guy IM'd me and after 2 seconds said "mind if I masturbate?" I never laughed so hard in my life.
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