JoL Posted January 19, 2005 Posted January 19, 2005 hmm let's see about 4 break ups 1. one when i was 15-16, he was my first love..and how i loved him! I was in love with him from the age of 13-17. once we were dating i was on cloud 9..my teenage dreams came true! he dumped me after 15 months and started dating my friend soon after OUCH! I was crushed! i think this set the pattern for the rest of my relationships.. 2. Next relationship 17-18..we were together for 9 months, he was madly, desperately in love with me, kept telling me he couldnt believe his luck. I unfortunately cared about him but i wasnt really IN LOVE no matter how much i loved him it wasnt the same. I ended it, we kept in touch, he kept trying to woo me back..he even cried one year after we had broken up when i started dating 3rd bf. i have lost touch with him, but not on bad terms. 3. 19-21 he was my "first". i was so desperately in love with him at first, like a fairytale..after a year it started to get a bit stale. We were together 2 years, i ended it because my feelings had changed, he was crushed and told me he thought i was "the one". we lost touch, but have recently caught up again. 4. soon after i met the most recent one 21-22...he was verbally, emotionally and psychologically abusive. It took me a few months to cotton on to his mental mind games..but once i was aware it was hard to ignore. He was mr nice guy 90% of the time, kept telling everyone he wanted to marry me. Yeah righ, i ended it a little over a month ago and have avoided contact at all costs..he actually scares me. So they you go..i had my heart crushed at 16 and ever since have been the one doing the dumping- scarred for life? maybe! Scary side note: all of my relationships have ALWAYS broken up during summer..i wonder why??
Sweeper211 Posted January 19, 2005 Posted January 19, 2005 Is there such thing as a "good" break-up? Anyway my worst was my first marriage. Came home at the weekend in a great mood as we were due to sign contracts on new house to find kids at her sisters and my bags packed to be told "I don't love you anymore, please leave right now" Oh and on the way to my parents hous i had to cal in at the Lawyers Office to cancel the house sale which was hard to do with tears and snot streaming down my face!. To this day she can't understand why I don't want to be freinds.
upallnight Posted January 19, 2005 Posted January 19, 2005 I've had many, and it seems like I was never the one initiating it. But I have had two that were really bad. One was with my first love that I met when I was 16...we broke up right before I graduated high school, and then he came back after I went off to college. Then he broke it off again after my freshman year and started seeing a good friend of mine. It was painful because I lived with this friend and had to deal with them being together until school started again and i could move back into the dorms. The friend he left me for recently died (Christmas Eve), and I hunted him down and called him. They were no longer together, but we were both really sad. It was amazing...we hadn't spoken to each other in eight years, but his voice and his laugh were still the same, and I felt like we had talked just yesterday. He asked me to keep in touch, but I'm not going to. The second wasn't quite so bad, but it still hurt. It was a good friend turned boyfriend. He was going to Duke and became way too busy with his studies and I became resentful. He ended it, and while I was not completely devastated, I felt like I had lost a really good person.
debs Posted January 19, 2005 Posted January 19, 2005 I have had many but the last one took me off my emotional rocker for 10 months! Although I am better off and doing MUCH better, the hurt still creeps in and stings like hell! Since I love adventure, I am going to Denver in 2 weeks to meet the 4 people I do correspond with online. They are the winds that have held up my wings so I can fly again! I love those people like family! But on a serious note, I have learned from each of the break ups. I am independent and self secure. Makes most men run! Oh well it is me! Take care all the heart broken people out there! I for one can say it does get better and if for NO CONTACT I would have ended up in the nearest psyche ward 4 months ago!
morrigan Posted January 19, 2005 Posted January 19, 2005 I had one bad breakup with a guy I'd been dating almost two years. I was in college at the time, he broke up with me because he felt we didn't share the same interests anymore, and he wanted a future with a woman who wanted kids. I don't want to get married or have children. He was an a$$ at times, I was an a$$ at times. I was upset about what happened, but it was better for both of us that we broke up. I dated other guys, met my current boyfriend and have been with him eight years.
beejsea2 Posted January 19, 2005 Posted January 19, 2005 As far as bad break-ups I guess I'd have to say two. 1) First one was about 15 years ago. The guy that I was dating started doing drugs and he kept getting in deeper and deeper. We broke up when he decided to continue doing drugs rather than work on his problem. I even went with him for a drug evaluation and he admitted he had a problem but he continued with his down hill spiral. We just drifted apart and the next time I heard from him he wrote me a letter from jail...his habit caught up with him when he and a "friend" were caught stealing. He was very apologetic and asked for my forgiveness. I talked to him after he first was released from jail but after two months he started drifting back to the drug scene so I basically stopped all contact with him. I know that he had been in and out of jail three more times after the first time. 2) The second I'm just going through now. Three months ago I came home and my bf who I'd been with for 4 1/2 years took off while I was at work. He left me with a credit card payment, and he helped himself to all the stereo equipment, speakers etc that I had bought for the house. He took all the DVD's that we bought, CD's. He even took tools I bought since I had just bought a house a year ago. The only time I heard from him was when a check written on our joint account didn't clear (I closed the account the day after he left.) I guess the reason this is so hard is that I feel that I deserve more than a letter saying he doesn't love me and we're no good for one another after 4 1/2 years. Of course I had no idea that we was unhappy a few days before he left we went to the movies, dinner had a great time in fact I commented two days before he left how I felt we were growing closer....silly me!!
Author moon Posted January 21, 2005 Author Posted January 21, 2005 Beejsea2, That must be so hard. My ex did sort of a disppearing act too. But I actually saw him go, talked to him about it, he broke up with me in person, but then hooked right up with his plan b woman. It really sucks. I go through up and down feeling about it. It's been three months for me since the break up. I go through whole days where everything is just fine. Then I can have another day where my heart is heavy and I feel anger. Today I was feeling sort of sad. Then I sort of had this ephiphany (and I've had many recently). I was about to think about how cruel my ex was to me and then I started to think.....maybe I just don't understand. Maybe I just can't understand that he's lost that special feeling for me. Maybe we really can't see where the other is coming from right now. I can't force him to understand me and he can't force me to understand what he did. Whoa--- kind of relieves some pressure. Agree to disagree. Okay so these thoughts will probably make me feel good for a while, until I go through another patch of feeling disappointed and betrayed. Good luck to you.
BrainRightHeartWrong Posted January 21, 2005 Posted January 21, 2005 Scary side note: all of my relationships have ALWAYS broken up during summer..i wonder why?? JoL that is strange, but how about mine, all 3 of my breakups at christmas time... the present breakup on the day after christmas! and last year i thought yes i am so happy having a loving girlfriend at christmas time no wonder i have a very depressive association with christmas time!
VirginiaBob Posted January 21, 2005 Posted January 21, 2005 I've had a couple a Christmas time myself, but in general, they have been more random.
poister Posted January 21, 2005 Posted January 21, 2005 Two that were horrid in the emotional sense - one at 17 one at 24. One that was bad in the, "He pressed charges against me for what?" sense - at 19.
katiebour Posted January 22, 2005 Posted January 22, 2005 Two- My first boyfriend, first kiss, first live-in partner, all of it. Together for almost 3 years, then he broke up with me during finals week of my senior undergrad year. My father and stepmom came to stay with me, and I had to explain to them that he was leaving me. We both spent profligately but it was all my money, so when he left, I had $15,000 in credit card debt. Still haven't paid it off after almost 4 years. My second boyfriend of 3 1/2 years broke up with me 2 days ago. This is much, much harder because when broke up with my first b/f we had both kinda fallen out of love. I am still in love with my second b/f, although it's tempered with anger and despair that he no longer loves me. I asked him to stay away from the house as much as possible while I move out in a week or so- he took his computer, clothes and bath stuff and left. I don't know if it's worse having him here or having him gone. Night-time is the hardest- I miss sleeping next to him. It still feels like a horrible, horrible dream.
Isabella82 Posted January 23, 2005 Posted January 23, 2005 Three our of Four of my breakups have all happened in May....I have been depressed many summers.
Nubemeister Posted January 23, 2005 Posted January 23, 2005 How about twice and with the same guy? lol First it was at 18...he said he wasn't good enough for me? yeah...he was awesome to me at that point I really loved him and Second time this year because I deserve better.....and feeling it more than he was...<---- that one is better than the first.... I've kinda given up on the whole love and dating thing... Eh...lol
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