R115 Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 Ok, just heard about this forum from elsewhere and could do with some advice to help to understand my situation, and help me to move past the problems in my love life. I'm not the most eloquent person in the world but I will try and describe the situation the best I can, I apologise if this is not posted in the right section as I wasn't sure where to put it. Ok here goes, I met this girl when I was 21 (I'm 24 now) I met her through a friend when we were all on a night out, I noticed her right away, she was my exact type, petite, cute and had a great personality, we hit it off right away and she was really keen for us to meet up, we went to the cinema etc.... things were going well but we did seem to clash a lot, we argued quite a bit even though we weren't properly together. Eventually she used this as an excuse to get back to her ex who at the time she had been with for years. I was gutted, I was really starting to fall for this girl but she was adamant that it wouldn't work with us. Within around the next 2 years she split with her boyfriend twice and we always seemed to find each other and end up spending time together like kind of friends with benefits, but the whole time I loved this girl but never really got that vibe from her that she felt anywhere near the same about me. Unfortunately after that she ended back with him again until around 5 months ago they split up again, she claimed that she was done with him and was finally ready to move on, obviously by this point I had wised up enough to tell her that I thought our relationship should stay platonic and that I felt she was simply using me, but in her mind she seemed to think she had not done anything wrong. So for around 2 months we were just friends until I was convinced enough that she really was ready to leave her ex behind and that things might actually go somewhere, and the last 3 months with her were absolutely fantastic, we were finally going somewhere it seemed, we saw eachother almost every day, we laughed, we went out, we had so much fun, and we were getting really close, its the happiest I've been in a long time as I don't have much else in my life going for me. I was ready to ask her if she wanted to be in a relationship and the vibe I was getting from her about it was good. Then this weekend out of the blue I get a text from her saying we need to talk, we talked and she said that her head was messed up and she didn't want to be with me in that way anymore, I asked her if there was someone else or if her ex was back on the scene, she didn't say that was the case but she simply replied by saying that she still loved her ex and basically always will , claiming that she hasnt done anything wrong by getting with me for the last few months. I finally told her how I feel and that I feel like once again I have been used as a rebound to attempt to get over her ex, but she doesn't see it that way, I just don't understand how I don't even get an apology for someone treating me that way. I'm a long term sufferer of depression and this has really set me back, I've been off work 2 days now and I'm moping around feeling sorry for myself, I really want to turn this heartache into something positive to turn my life around, new job, get in shape, sort debt out etc... but finding it so hard at the moment, something good has to come out of all this. I guess I just feel like she IS the one, I've been with plenty of other girls and never felt like that about anyone. Sorry to ramble on, just needed to tell my story, has anyone else been in a similar situation? Anyone got any advice?
cocoaraisinsx Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 She is using you. I think you need to move on from her. She's gonna keep going back to her ex. Do you know why they keep breaking up though?
Shepp Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 If she feels about him like you feel about her then your just going to keep going round in circles. She was your goal...time for a new one! Not 'new job' or 'get fit' something specific - run a marathon, train in something, organise a trip to the rainforest to build a leisure centre for Chimps........anything, something that gets your blood pumping. Something fun!
Author R115 Posted November 19, 2013 Author Posted November 19, 2013 They kept breaking up because she wasn't happy with the way he was treating her, not giving her enough attention, no effort to spend time with her etc.... I was convinced this time it was over for good though, she claimed it was the hardest thing she ever had to do but it was best to end things with him for good . Just cant believe I've let her do this to me again, especially considering how close "I thought" we were becoming. It's like everything I've wanted for the best part of 3 years was finally happening then it was ripped away from me, for that I don't feel I can ever forgive her and doubt I can ever be her friend. Friends told me this would happen but I felt I needed to give it a shot, at least I took a shot I suppose, they have told me that its best to delete her from my life, facebook, phone number etc....
Author R115 Posted November 20, 2013 Author Posted November 20, 2013 Thought I would give this a bump in order to perhaps get a few more replies. Still on my mind and just feel totally devastated that everything I've wanted for 3 years was so close only to be taken away at the last hurdle.
PinkCarnations Posted November 20, 2013 Posted November 20, 2013 Look up the rules of "No contact" on this forum.. and you'll start feeling better..
Uwaae Posted November 21, 2013 Posted November 21, 2013 So sad. Sounds like you were worshipping this girl, and she decided to finally leave leave you. You should go out with other girls, she's been going with other guys, so I dont see why you need to carry a torch for this girl. She basically doesnt recognize you as a man, so she has no respect for you, and will not apologize to you
Recommended Posts