napy666 Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 As the question asked How long were you single before you found your partner or are you still single? How many dates did it take?
Phoe Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 I''m single right now but it was 6 years between my last 2 boyfriends. Not sure how many "dates", but we dated for 2 months before becoming official. It has been about 7 months since we broke up, so now I am back to 7 months of singledom.
almond Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 Four years. Never went on one date, wasn't looking for a relationship. Was friends with him for two years, strictly platonic...no romantic feelings whatsoever, although I always thought he was an amazing person (and super hot). Totally friend zoned him though. I was too busy with work, uni and friends to even consider a relationship. However, eventually...it just happened, and here we are five years later. 1
Outsider77 Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 I've barely been single at all for most of my adult life. Two really long relationships. I had already met someone a couple of months after I broke up with the first one. I was not looking for a relationship, it just happened. Not sure if that's a good thing.
MalachiX Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 Four years. Never went on one date, wasn't looking for a relationship. Was friends with him for two years, strictly platonic...no romantic feelings whatsoever, although I always thought he was an amazing person (and super hot). Totally friend zoned him though. I was too busy with work, uni and friends to even consider a relationship. However, eventually...it just happened, and here we are five years later. Ok, I don't want to hijack this thread and I don't want to start one of those BS gender wars posts which seem to dominate this forum. That said, is there a way women like yourself can perhaps have a conference with all those angry female writers who insist the friend zone doesn't exist and perhaps come to some kind of consensus? I realize that you're not responsible for what other people of your gender say but it's kinda confusing for us guys to hear some women refer to the "friend zone" and then read angry articles that say the term "friendzone" is BS spouted by misogynists. Once again, sorry for hijacking the thread. Just couldn't help myself. Glad you've found a fullfilling relationship
almond Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 Ok, I don't want to hijack this thread and I don't want to start one of those BS gender wars posts which seem to dominate this forum. That said, is there a way women like yourself can perhaps have a conference with all those angry female writers who insist the friend zone doesn't exist and perhaps come to some kind of consensus? I realize that you're not responsible for what other people of your gender say but it's kinda confusing for us guys to hear some women refer to the "friend zone" and then read angry articles that say the term "friendzone" is BS spouted by misogynists. Once again, sorry for hijacking the thread. Just couldn't help myself. Glad you've found a fullfilling relationship This might sound silly, but I'm unsure as to what exactly the "friend zone" is? I may have used the term incorrectly, I've just seen it posted here a lot and thought it fitted Could you define it for me? Does "friendzone" simply equate to a strictly platonic friendship with no romantic feelings? Or is it something else? Once I understand, I can then try to respond to your post properly. Thanks
MalachiX Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 This might sound silly, but I'm unsure as to what exactly the "friend zone" is? I may have used the term incorrectly, I've just seen it posted here a lot and thought it fitted Could you define it for me? Does "friendzone" simply equate to a strictly platonic friendship with no romantic feelings? Or is it something else? Once I understand, I can then try to respond to your post properly. Thanks LOL. I guess I should call off the conference. I suppose it depends on who you ask. Some guys think of it very bitterly and others as just a fact of life. I think the most neutral way to describe it as a kind of "box." If one person doesn't make romantic intentions known immediately on meeting, the other person files them catalogues them in their head as in the "friend zone" and will never be open to anything beyond friendship regaurdless how how hard the lovelorn one tries. Often nice guys seem to complain about it because they're a little slower to be assertively show a romantic/sexual interest in a woman. I guess guys also seem more likely to reconsider a friendship as a possible romantic connection than a some women are once they've put a guy in the friend zone. That said, I'm sure there are women who feel the same way and I hate the whole, "my gender has it harder" BS. No doubt there's people of both sexes who might prefer to get to know someone as a friend before they start to actually date and then get frustrated when the other person has written them off because they didn't make overtures immediately.
almond Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 Oh, I wasn't aware that some permanently write people off because they don't show romantic interest quickly enough! How odd. I wonder why they do this? Wouldn't women like the fact that a guy would rather get to know them before instantly hitting on them? Or is it an ego thing..."am I not pretty enough? He doesn't want me enough...etc?" I really don't understand people sometimes. Well, I definitely "friendzone" people. In fact, I initially friendzone every male I meet, but it has nothing to do with whether or not they had shown romantic interest, and at what pace. In a couple of cases, they have broken through the friend zone and become long term partners. I have been the one to make a move both times - they always had it cemented in their heads that there was zero chance, and were quite surprised when they got jumped. The ones that are permanently friendzoned are some of my closest friends, and have been for years Conference cancelled...I have no idea what I'm talking about. But yes, I suppose that this friendzone certainly exists in one form or another.
FrostBlaze Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 7-8 years before my last one, broke up recently, gonna be single again for the rest of my lifetime. Because i'm just gettin to old for this thing xD.
Titania22 Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 7-8 years before my last one, broke up recently, gonna be single again for the rest of my lifetime. Because i'm just gettin to old for this thing xD. How old is too old?
Kate9292 Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 About a year between any of my longer relationships.
FrostBlaze Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 How old is too old? Well i'm not that old, mid twenty'z. But, i haven't done much up to this point, so i'm kinda like "eh" about it all. (dating and general experience, 3 gf that didn't last long don't count for much) And i honestly barely see any single women past the age of 20 around my town, really narrows the people i can find. xD I always find much younger single women, older i get, harder it is.
bumpyroad Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 I haven't found anyone, but I've been single for 4 years. But I've briefly dated 2 men this year (didn't work out) and almost got involved with another... So a 4 year arid desert and then 3 people come into my life. What the hell - like 3 buses turning up at once. All random and thoroughly unexpected, I wasn't looking and wasn't bothered either, I'd actually given up and was fine with it.
carhill Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 As the question asked How long were you single before you found your partner or are you still single? How many dates did it take? I'd say it took a solid two years of consistent approaching, rejection and dating before I found my first solid LTR. Prior, in the decade or so previous, I wasn't committed to weathering the emotional pain of rejection, so didn't bounce back as quickly from such rejections, so the number of approaches was far lesser, hence with lower chances of success. Now I don't care. Divorce changes a person, or at least changed me.
regine_phalange Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 I am single right now. The most I have stayed single is 9 months. This time I really want to be single for at least a year. I've reached a point where I am sick of relationships and feel like I have nothing to give to anybody. But I know with time this "sick" feeling will start to go away and I will be ready for a fresh start!
hotpotato Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 (edited) LOL. I guess I should call off the conference. I suppose it depends on who you ask. Some guys think of it very bitterly and others as just a fact of life. I think the most neutral way to describe it as a kind of "box." If one person doesn't make romantic intentions known immediately on meeting, the other person files them catalogues them in their head as in the "friend zone" and will never be open to anything beyond friendship regaurdless how how hard the lovelorn one tries. Often nice guys seem to complain about it because they're a little slower to be assertively show a romantic/sexual interest in a woman. I guess guys also seem more likely to reconsider a friendship as a possible romantic connection than a some women are once they've put a guy in the friend zone. That said, I'm sure there are women who feel the same way and I hate the whole, "my gender has it harder" BS. No doubt there's people of both sexes who might prefer to get to know someone as a friend before they start to actually date and then get frustrated when the other person has written them off because they didn't make overtures immediately. Do women fz you because you dont make a move fast enough or because they just arent interested in you romatically? The last guy I fzed so to speak was almost old enough to be my grandfather. Did I fz him bc he didnt make a move fast enough or bc I wasnt sexually attracted to him? Another guy I fzed I just wasnt attracted to him. Plus, I was dating someone else anyway. These guys would have been 'friends' even if they had moved faster. In fact, I wish they had made their intentions clear in the beginning so I could have rejected them sooner. Edited November 19, 2013 by hotpotato 1
Author napy666 Posted November 19, 2013 Author Posted November 19, 2013 I have been single for 2 years going on 3 and been on a few dates here and there but lately I've been thinking about my ex of 2 years ago on and off dreaming about him too haha.
ponchsox Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 I've only had two relationships my entire life and I'm 37. One was in my early 20s and was basically just for sex. My first LTR ended a couple of months ago. I have no problems getting a date but I am very picky and it takes a long time to find someone I really connect with.
radiodarcy Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 hah been single 3 years and counting. although technically the last relationship I was in was friend with benefits so that would make it oh - - 37 years?
Janesays Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 In my adult life, I've never been single for longer than 8 months. I have TRIED to stay single a number of times...particularly after my divorce I wanted to take some time and just be alone for awhile. Unfortunately, I ended up meeting up with my current husband who was not only amazing, but persistent at wearing me down. 1
Meadowgreen Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 My LTR started in March 2007, but before that I was pretty much rolling from one drama-filled fling to another with gulfs of singledom in between. This was between the ages of 17-23. I never said I was a sensible girl...
bear602 Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 ive been with my current gf for about 18 months...had 8 months to be single after a 4 1/2 year relationship...i love my gf im with now.just wish i would have waited a few more months before i got into a committed relationship.
nescafe1982 Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 I've had three LTRs, each with somewhere between a year and 18 months in between, where I multi-dated. I'm 31. No one friendzones a guy who they have interest in. Let's just call it what is is, eh? Romantic interest/attraction versus no romantic interest/attraction. Sincerely, one of those "angry females." 2
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