DrummingFenatic Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 Hey everyone. First post. I can't believe I'm doing this because normally I avoid forums. But I don't really have anyone to talk to about this so I figured now might just be the time for me to bite the bullet and just go for it. So I'm going to try and keep it short and sweet because the whole situation would take pages to explain and I don't want to bore everyone here. So, in a few short statements, I'll give the background. Basically, I met this girl through a friend. She's cute, smart, and we connect very well. A few months ago, she told me that she really liked me and that I make her really happy. It kind of caught me off guard but I have to admit it was nice to hear. At the time, I was just hanging out with her as a friend. But after a couple weeks of getting to know her, I started to like her. I kept my feelings to myself because I didn't want to get too ahead of myself, but deep down, I really was starting to like her...a lot. So about another week goes by and she tells me again that she likes me a lot and that 'in her head' we're already dating. So at this point I figured it'd be safe to tell her that I liked her back. So I told her and she replied with ":)" So I'm thinking things are going well. Then all of a sudden she starts trying to push me away and tells me that she wants to be friends. Needless to say, I got rather confused. But I have a rule (for myself) that I won't go chasing the girl. So I give her some space and cut the chatter down to a minimum. So about 2 days ago, she decided to get back with her ex. I knew that they were talking, but she assured me that she wasn't going back to him (They broke up 6 months ago). Anyway, she text me last night saying "I still want to be friends" and called me to start small chat...When I asked her why she was calling me her response was "Because I like talking to you." So anyway, after some thinking, I began thinking about cutting my losses with her and tell her that I don't want to have anything to do with her anymore. But a friend of mine told me that I may be overreacting and that I should give it a little more time and see where it goes. Not sure I buy that, BUT, I don't want to burn that bridge down just because I'm a little irritated right now. What do you all think?
salparadise Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 I think you have a right to feel as you do - irritated. She encouraged you, reciprocated and then ducked out and went back with the old boyfriend, leaving you standing there with your feelings. It happens. It wasn't your fault. But for her to then come along and try to keep you on the string... well, that's how some of them are. She wants you to chase, she wants you as a backup in case things go south with the ex-bf again, she wants the attention and ego boost of having you on deck while the other's at bat. She's messing with you, and in once sense it's good that this happened before you got in too deep. I suggest you politely decline her offer to remain friends, citing her having phuked that up herself. Tell her if she ever truly gets over the ex to maybe give you a call and see if you're available for coffee.
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