Have finally gone FULL NC & feel awful :(

[Brown-Eyez]

he showed his true colors by reaching out to me again,

hooking me in,

and once he got me he just totally let go!

 

i've had no choice now

if i want to save even a shred of my self-esteem

i have finally, finally BLOCKED him

from calling, texting, or emailing me..

 

but now i feel the full loss

and am so sad

 

i keep checking my phone to see if he's contacted me

and of course he can't

so why am i even looking???

 

i want today to end

and for tomorrow to be easier..

 

for anyone suffering like me

hang in there its suppose to get better

 

thank you for letting me rant.

[me85]

I really do know how you feel. It's hard to break away.

[Meadowgreen]

he showed his true colors by reaching out to me again,

hooking me in,

and once he got me he just totally let go!

 

i've had no choice now

if i want to save even a shred of my self-esteem

i have finally, finally BLOCKED him

from calling, texting, or emailing me..

 

but now i feel the full loss

and am so sad

 

i keep checking my phone to see if he's contacted me

and of course he can't

so why am i even looking???

 

i want today to end

and for tomorrow to be easier..

 

for anyone suffering like me

hang in there its suppose to get better

 

thank you for letting me rant.

 

You became addicted to his breadcrumbs. It's something pretty much all of us go through at some point in our lives. We know it's not enough to nourish us, but they have such a way of convincing us that it is.

 

It WILL get better and you will look back on this one day as the painful but brave new chapter in your life.

[Brown-Eyez]

You became addicted to his breadcrumbs. It's something pretty much all of us go through at some point in our lives. We know it's not enough to nourish us, but they have such a way of convincing us that it is.

 

It WILL get better and you will look back on this one day as the painful but brave new chapter in your life.

 

yes, i guess that what this is

addiction to his breadcrumbs

no wonder i've lost so much weight!

 

the silence from him now

is at least not from him ignoring me..

 

in my way, i got control back

and will try to stay brave & strong.

 

sometimes it just really sucks to have a heart

[Minneloa]

Good for you, sister. I know you're hurting right now, but you took the first big step in getting yourself and your life back. Nicely done!

 

Sending good thoughts,

M.

[BC1980]

NC is pretty hard in the beginning. Then, after a few months, you will get an urge to contact again. You will have to fight it. It's hard because it feels very final, and we don't really like to cut people off completely. We all have struggled with that feeling, but it's for the best. On this board, the overwhelming majority who break NC or fail to institute it do not have good outcomes.