send_me_flowers Posted November 10, 2013 Posted November 10, 2013 Hi all My ex called me last week and today came knocking I wasn't looking my best it was first thing in the morning was in my pjs. He was saying he wanted to see how I was. He has had that tattoo of the girls name redone. He didn't beg or ask for me back. He came for whatever reason I'm not sure of. I never showed how he hurt me I was polite I feel such a fool I feel I know now I meant nothing at all to him. He will never regret me, why did he have to set me back I feel so depressed and back to square one. All my effort of working on getting over him as came back. It's hurtful that he could so that so I am maintaining NC for good he also hugged me like to say you will never see me again. I'm so sad and really hurt. I don't deserve what he has done to me and also the fact he doesn't care what he has done is so cold I just wish that I slammed the phone down when I knew it was him. But I didn't want to show I was bothered by him. I am such a fool
Author send_me_flowers Posted November 11, 2013 Author Posted November 11, 2013 Could anyone please offer some advice on my situation. I'm just so sad and hurt I feel like a worthless human being
xUnknown Posted November 11, 2013 Posted November 11, 2013 Was there a conversation? How did he seem? You really didn't say much, other than he showed up at the door...
forgetmenot75 Posted November 11, 2013 Posted November 11, 2013 Yes, you are in square one. Good news is now you know for sure he doesn't love you. He just went see you because he was curious/guilty/bored who knows. the only certainty here is you need to move on. Get your pajamas off and do some exercise. It will et better. I promise. In the meantime, block him, plus let him know unexpected visits are unwelcome. 1
Author send_me_flowers Posted November 11, 2013 Author Posted November 11, 2013 Was there a conversation? How did he seem? You really didn't say much, other than he showed up at the door... Hey thanks for the reply. He just wanted to see how I was also he asked of I'm dating again I said no but I would like to in the new year. He was mainly just talking about himself and how well he felt and things where looking up for him. I wished well and that was that.
Author send_me_flowers Posted November 11, 2013 Author Posted November 11, 2013 Yes, you are in square one. Good news is now you know for sure he doesn't love you. He just went see you because he was curious/guilty/bored who knows. the only certainty here is you need to move on. Get your pajamas off and do some exercise. It will et better. I promise. In the meantime, block him, plus let him know unexpected visits are unwelcome. Thank you. It was first thing in the morning. Not once did he say thank you for what I done or sorry for what he done to me also. I don't know the reason why he came maybe because of them things you said. I really thought he regretted loosing me but he never did. I just feel such a fool for being this way over someone who doesn't care if I'm alive or dead. The main thing is I kept face I never showed how he hurt me or what I went through I made out I was fine. He gave me a hug that said goodbye forever. I was doing so well. I stopped thinking of him an was accepting my new life. You know. Now I feel like my life has gone downhill and his is all fine and dandy. Thank you for. Your reply
Author send_me_flowers Posted November 13, 2013 Author Posted November 13, 2013 Hi all My head is really messed up at the moment. My ex came to see me Sunday. I made out I was great after the break up and he asked if I was on a dating site I said yes. Also I did t say what I really felt and told him I was moving on in the new year. I feel like that could have been my chance to have got him back and I've gone a blower it we haven't spoke for 3 months and he came to see me. I wanted to not show my emotions and I didn't want to make a fool of myself. I hate myself so much right now. He hugged me like I will never see him again. I just don't get why he would come to see me
d0nnivain Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 Don't hate yourself. You acted in a dignified manner. Don't sweat it.
Author send_me_flowers Posted November 13, 2013 Author Posted November 13, 2013 I was coming along fine and than he came back. I'm so hurt again he had the tattoo of the girl he claims he not with redone. And it stabbed me in the heart. I even made him something to eat has he said he was hungry not a sorry for hurting me nothing. I'm back to being heartbroken again, thank you for your reply I'm so low and hurt. He even said he would call me tonight but he never did. I just hate myself and feel so useless not good enough for nothing
melell Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 I had the same thing happen after a few months. When I spoke to my ex he was really curious and potentially interested, but I showed no emotion. By doing so I completely shut him down. I wanted to retract it. I wished I had been open and loving and let it be up to him. A month or so later he came back, but at this point I really wanted nothing to do with him.. so I am glad I had acted the way I did previously. It is difficult, because I see exactly what you mean. My theory is that the chances of them wanting to reconcile are very very slim, so in being cold it is likely that even if you weren't that way nothing would come from it. It is hard for me still, because I feel so much better if the dumper is the one being cold, or if the dumper is ignoring. I hate being the 'mean' one.
Author send_me_flowers Posted November 13, 2013 Author Posted November 13, 2013 I just don't understand why he would come back after 3 months of no contact. I just have to realise he will never regret loosing me. And he will never want me back. I don't know how he can't feel bad for treating me badly. It's awful. I just don't get why he come back to hurt me again. 1
d0nnivain Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 I didn't completely understand until your 2nd post. You're back to square one. Still, don't get too down on yourself because you were kind to him. Even if he didn't deserve it, that doesn't make you a jerk. Try making a list of all the reasons you are better off with out him. I'll start it for you: 1. He's a liar (as evidenced by the tattoo of the new girl & his failure to call when he said he would) 2. He's a user (he let you make him food & be nice to him) 3. he has no empathy / never apologized 2
Author send_me_flowers Posted November 13, 2013 Author Posted November 13, 2013 I didn't completely understand until your 2nd post. You're back to square one. Still, don't get too down on yourself because you were kind to him. Even if he didn't deserve it, that doesn't make you a jerk. Try making a list of all the reasons you are better off with out him. I'll start it for you: 1. He's a liar (as evidenced by the tattoo of the new girl & his failure to call when he said he would) 2. He's a user (he let you make him food & be nice to him) 3. he has no empathy / never apologized Thank you. Yes he is really a cruel man. I was always there for him. But I was not enough for him. I suppose I have to face facts and that is we wasnt meant to be. It still hurts me. But what hurts most of all is I really did love hi My feelings where true. But thank you. For your time 1
Author send_me_flowers Posted November 18, 2013 Author Posted November 18, 2013 If my ex hasn't realised after 3 months apart what he lost or regreted how much hurt he has cause me, will he ever, will he ever know that he lost someone who really loved him and was there for him.. Will he ever regret that. Even if he thought I was fine and getting on with my life. He kept saying to me at least now you can move on with your life. Was I really not that good enough for him to be in his life. So hurt he contacted me when I was healing to disappear again on me. He said he would call me and he never did. Why does he want to hurt me all over again 1
Author send_me_flowers Posted November 18, 2013 Author Posted November 18, 2013 Can anyone give me advice please
Toddbt12y1 Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 Afraid after three months that he probably has moved on himself. You are his past now. I am sorry. I know to hear this hurts you deeply. I am very sorry. But you need to move on too. He pushed you and kept telling you to move on, cause that is what he wants to do too. You shouldn't keep hurting yourself over and over again due to him. Don't you think that you deserve happiness in the arms of someone better? To no longer cry over the past? You have to be strong. To be a woman. And know that you have the ability to get someone else. To put forth a womanly effort. Go out and not only that, find new interests. Improve you and only you. He is not you, but you are: that means you dictate your future. Cry no more over losses. I know your pain. But, please, be strong. I am sorry you have had to wait for a reply. It has been slow around here lately. Hug* I know you can do better for yourself, than worry over him. Go claim your happiness. 2
Kansas87 Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 He might not ever regret it, because it might be for the best. You have held onto hope, which is understandable (I'm currently trying to break myself of that), but you need to understand that he didn't. He let go and moved on. And you need to do so as well. No more waiting around for him. Get out there and live your life without him. Become so awesome that you forget about him and look back on it as a sad thing that happened to you but that made you stronger. 2
todreaminblue Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 Can anyone give me advice please hey, its hard to deal with when you care for someone and the feelings are not returned, but it happens,if you think about it closely, would you want a guy back who hasn't been there for you when you needed him to be who hasn't cared how you felt or how your day was really rough or months for that matter, when you looked at him and seen for three months he cared little or nothing for you.... know that any caring he shows in the future could revert back and leave you high and dry when you need him the most.......you have to distance yourself from those sort of peoples......i actually go literal with physical distance....to avoid running into them and getting hurt while they can hurt me........which is extreme but it works for me......i am friends with my ex...could i go back ....yes i could anyone can walk backwards.....doesnt mean its the right thing to do or the best thing to do...i seek that right thing to do which is to stay away from people who can make me feel bad about myself..... be good to yourself no one else will if you dont.......cut the guy out..cold no contact again.....he isnt good for you ...or for you to heal......dont be sad...be glad....you seen his true colors before you got in deep......he isnt right for you ..................deb 2
me85 Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 (edited) You will have waves of emotions from what he has done to you. Every day will feel different. Like myself & so many others, you will have great days with a great attitude, like, "Who cares? I know I will be fine. I'm ok." Then you'll have down days like today when you just don't understand but try so hard to anyway. My ex left cold & pretty suddenly after filling my head & heart with hopes of us getting back together. I CANNOT WAIT TO GET TO JUST THE 2 WEEK MARK OF NC. So you are doing FANTASTIC. My advice is to do whatever you did for those 3 months of NC before he showed up at your doorstep. You got this far, you know what to do, you just did it. He probably has missed talking to you because you were good to him but you have to start asking yourself repeatedly "What has he done for ME lately???" Edited November 19, 2013 by me85 1
BC1980 Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 I just don't understand why he would come back after 3 months of no contact. I just have to realise he will never regret loosing me. And he will never want me back. I don't know how he can't feel bad for treating me badly. It's awful. I just don't get why he come back to hurt me again. It sounds like he was curious or just wanted to show you he is moving on. Both reasons are beyond cruel IMO. If it happens again, don't answer the door, or tell him to go away. Don't engage in a conversation with him.
Author send_me_flowers Posted November 19, 2013 Author Posted November 19, 2013 Thank you everyone for your kind words, in my gut I know he will never regret me. I just feel so low and hurt again what hurts more is now I know that me and him will never be again. I thought that he loved me. I am blaming myself that I said I was on a dating site and will be moving on but I said that when I seem the tattoo. I wish I could forget him and leave it in the past it was so cruel of him to contact me. At least now I know that I won't hear from him again. So when I heal it will be for good. I wish that I had more of a life. Everything has gone wrong for me. All I had was a big heart kind and genuine I got hurt and cheated and betryed for that. He only used me while he was in jail. Never came to see me when he was on home leaves and set up home with some girl. After everything I done for him. Meant nothing that makes me feel really bad inside. I feel as though I am not worthy of anyone and all I'm good for is being there for people but when I am in need the ones I need there for me never are. I hate my life so much
Author send_me_flowers Posted November 19, 2013 Author Posted November 19, 2013 He might not ever regret it, because it might be for the best. You have held onto hope, which is understandable (I'm currently trying to break myself of that), but you need to understand that he didn't. He let go and moved on. And you need to do so as well. No more waiting around for him. Get out there and live your life without him. Become so awesome that you forget about him and look back on it as a sad thing that happened to you but that made you stronger. I don't get what you mean. He might not regret me because it could be for the best ?
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