Darren Collins Posted November 18, 2013 Share Posted November 18, 2013 I was with my ex for 8months but we had a long past with each other, we had a really loving relationship at the beginning, we were always with each other we even moved in together but she started saying she didn't know if she loved me and it killed me inside, she said i was being to needy as i was always enjoying kissing and hugging her when she came home or we were together. We booked a holiday away with each other before she started feeling like this and she broke my heart on holiday and said she stopped loving me so i flew back early and stayed at home and didn't hear from her again. Its my birthday today and i saw on her FB that she's already with another guy and its ripped my heart out again. Im absolutely destroyed and just want some advice. How has she moved on so quickly but Im falling apart?! Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 18, 2013 Share Posted November 18, 2013 She didn't move on as quickly as you think. She moved on -- at least emotionally -- before she actually ended it with you. I'm sorry that this is all happening on your birthday. The best gift you can give yourself is NC -- unfriend her from FB. If you aren't seeing her new life, it will help you heal. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jphcbpa Posted November 18, 2013 Share Posted November 18, 2013 wish her well...that is all you can do. keep the anger out of your heart...that will only poison you. you dont want to be with someone who does not love your or is not sure. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted November 19, 2013 Share Posted November 19, 2013 wish her well...that is all you can do. keep the anger out of your heart...that will only poison you. you dont want to be with someone who does not love your or is not sure. This is true - good advice. But I would add that you don't want to suppress the feelings, whether it be anger, sadness, disbelief, etc. When a relationship ends, especially like this where you are the dumpee and didn't want it to end, we have to process the loss. It's grief that you're feeling, and the healthy way is to embrace the grieving process rather than circumvent it. The five classic stages of grief are: denialangerbargainingdepressionacceptance You are likely to experience all of these feelings, but they are not discrete and they don't necessarily happen in this order. In this situation you will have other feelings bothering you as well... like did she ever really love me, and if so how could she be with someone else already while you're still in such pain? You need to talk to someone who is empathic and nonjudgmental. It can be someone you know or it can be someone you don't know but who is a good listener. We process grief by mourning... which means basically to talk and get it out. I would encourage you to make an appointment with a counselor, or call and talk to someone. It will help. Link to post Share on other sites
melell Posted November 23, 2013 Share Posted November 23, 2013 She sounds like a loser. Link to post Share on other sites
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