Wambo Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 At the moment I'm appear to be trapped in this endless circle of having my NC broken and having to start all over again. It's the same pattern everytime and I'm sick to death of going through the worst of NC every month or so. I'm currently in the third week of NC and I'm finding the third week is the most difficult. Soon I will be out of the worst of it but only to find my NC get broken yet again. I know this will happen because the way she looks at me and still showing signs of interest in me. At the moment I don't know what else to do other than to confront her about our situation and try to get it resolve. She knows I have feelings for her, she knows I'm avioding her and she still try her luck? So my question is when do the cheaters give up and move on? It been over a year since my EA had ended and there is no sign of her moving on. She still leaving the door open for me and trying to pull me through. Surely she would either improve her relationship, end it or find someone else to have an affair with by now? I shouldn't be in the picture but yet I'm still am......
trailrunner1975 Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 My two cents........(guy here) She will move on when she sees you are dead serious about NC. Doesn't mean she won't still try from time to time. Man up and stand your ground and show you mean business. Unless you enjoy the rollercoaster............ 1
Owl Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 Why don't YOU put an end to it? That's when it will end...when YOU finally decide it's time to end. Whether or not she leaves the door open...doesn't matter. When you tell her that you're DONE, it's OVER...and you let her know that if she contacts you again you'll take active measures (such as telling her H, whatever) if she violates NC again....and you take active measures to PREVENT her from casually doing so (such as changing your number, your email address, blocking her email/text/calls/facebook/etc...). When YOU finally make the choice to end things forever and walk away...it'll be over. But as long as YOU let yourself be sucked back in...it will keep going. Take charge of your own darned life...stop letting others (HER) decide for you. 6
whichwayisup Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 At the moment I'm appear to be trapped in this endless circle of having my NC broken and having to start all over again. It's the same pattern everytime and I'm sick to death of going through the worst of NC every month or so. I'm currently in the third week of NC and I'm finding the third week is the most difficult. Soon I will be out of the worst of it but only to find my NC get broken yet again. I know this will happen because the way she looks at me and still showing signs of interest in me. At the moment I don't know what else to do other than to confront her about our situation and try to get it resolve. She knows I have feelings for her, she knows I'm avioding her and she still try her luck? So my question is when do the cheaters give up and move on? It been over a year since my EA had ended and there is no sign of her moving on. She still leaving the door open for me and trying to pull me through. Surely she would either improve her relationship, end it or find someone else to have an affair with by now? I shouldn't be in the picture but yet I'm still am...... Because you're weak and not ready to let go. Slam the door shut and walk away. You are giving her total control over you. Her door is open a crack? Who cares! If you want it over and never to see or speak to her again, YOU decide! Make it over. Get strong, find your pride and self respect. Otherwise, this dance will go on and on and on as long as you let it. You've not detached, you let yourself have hope. You haven't killed off your feelings for her either, so this is why you can't let go or stay in NC mode. you have hope and desire. you're being used. Where's your anger? GET mad, be fed up and say fu.ck it! I'm DONE and just do it. Move on and make it impossible for her to contact you.
Author Wambo Posted November 19, 2013 Author Posted November 19, 2013 My two cents........(guy here) She will move on when she sees you are dead serious about NC. Doesn't mean she won't still try from time to time. Man up and stand your ground and show you mean business. Unless you enjoy the rollercoaster............ The situation is we both work in the same building, so there is a strong possibility we both see each other. It doesn't mean we speak to each other but it's difficult to remain hidden.
Author Wambo Posted November 19, 2013 Author Posted November 19, 2013 Do you respond when she breaks NC? The last few times I didn't. She is also very aware I'm keeping my distance from her but it still doesn't work. She wants me to remain avaliable? and checking up on me. The only option I can think of is to confront her and get her to aknowledge the situation and give her the facts.
trailrunner1975 Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 The situation is we both work in the same building, so there is a strong possibility we both see each other. It doesn't mean we speak to each other but it's difficult to remain hidden. About the only thing I can think of is to act in a professional manner and keep any convo all business. Past that ignore ignore ignore. Or change jobs.
will-ow Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 When will this end? When you end it! At the moment I'm appear to be trapped in this endless circle of having my NC broken and having to start all over again. I'm interested by the way you talk about "having it broken" as if its something out of your control? I realise you can't 100% avoid contact if you work in the same building, but you can choose to totally ignore any and all contact from her which is not directly work-related, and if you don't then its you who's breaking the NC..... just a thought. And are you looking for another job yet? So my question is when do the cheaters give up and move on? when there is no reason for them to stay any more. Every time you break NC you give her a reason to try again. I know how hard this is, but it really is up to you to stop it being worth her while any more.
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