TylerDurdenn Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 I am in need of the expert advices his site offers (I bet some people are sick of me now ) Gf of 4 years ended it with me 6 weeks ago Ended on good terms I have tried to keep nc I have remained fully committed to her So last Friday we met up to speak about where we are at, it was a positive conversation, she said she misses me and that she has not spoken to/been with any other guys; I believe her as she has never given me a reason not to trust her, and has always been honest with me. We end the conversation with a long hug and said our goodbyes. Saturday morning I felt down so I text her saying not to worry about me, that I'm not going to talk to her ever again and I apologised for bothering her. She replied saying she wants to start us all over again and that we should go on a date once a week. She also text me saying 'I don't want to lose you from my life, and I do want to try make it work and I hope it does'. However after we agreed a date, she has hardly spoken to me. Am I looking too far into this or do I need to chill? P.s the above was all last week, and the date is this Friday.
Author TylerDurdenn Posted November 18, 2013 Author Posted November 18, 2013 Oops messed the title up
Never Again Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 Leave your expectations behind. It's pretty typical for someone to lose interest once they "get you" again. You have no idea what could happen. Any hopes you have will hurt you. The fact that you've "remained committed" to her actually will likely do more harm than good. Clinging to the old relationship will cause the old problems to reappear. The fact that you're this worried suggests that you may not be ready for this. If you're going to insist on this date...you need to chill out and fast.
Author TylerDurdenn Posted November 18, 2013 Author Posted November 18, 2013 Leave your expectations behind. It's pretty typical for someone to lose interest once they "get you" again. You have no idea what could happen. Any hopes you have will hurt you. The fact that you've "remained committed" to her actually will likely do more harm than good. Clinging to the old relationship will cause the old problems to reappear. The fact that you're this worried suggests that you may not be ready for this. If you're going to insist on this date...you need to chill out and fast. Wouldn't really call staying committed to the girl that I love clinging onto an old relationship, but thank you for the advice.
mutant Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 Firstly, any advice given here is not expert advice but rather personal opinions that are usually based on personal experiences. If you need expert advice, kindly seek professional counseling services. here is my 2 cents. Don't remain committed to a girl who believes she is better off without you in her life. Her words "'I don't want to lose you from my life" do not match her actions. It's probably true that she isn't seeing someone else but this doesn't mean that she wants you back. Waiting for her/"chilling" won't win her back too. I wouldn't go for a date with a person who is blowing hot and cold especially after dumping me. I can't see anything positive coming out of that date and you will most likely end up frustrated. Cancel it, move forward, go NC.
Shaine Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 I think she just wants you to woo her again. If you still like her, go for it. If it didnt work out, i dont think it wont be as painful as the 1st rejection.
melell Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 My ex wanted to do this right after our break up too. It is something that is done (unknowingly) so they don't have to deal with the 'loss' of a relationship, instead they can wean themselves off.
Author TylerDurdenn Posted November 18, 2013 Author Posted November 18, 2013 I think she just wants you to woo her again. If you still like her, go for it. If it didnt work out, i dont think it wont be as painful as the 1st rejection. She exactly used that exact word 'I'm looking forward to you trying to woo me' She knows I'll make a fuss..
Author TylerDurdenn Posted November 19, 2013 Author Posted November 19, 2013 We still haven't spoke, if she bails I'll be distraught. Boooo
Haydn Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 Mate are you sure about this? Wouldn`t it be better to take her to watch QPR lose at home?
organizedchaos Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 We still haven't spoke, if she bails I'll be distraught. Boooo Take it SLOW! You can't expect it to be just like it used to be before you broke up. Treat it like someone you just met and just had a first date with. Would you be expecting them to blow up your phone every day?
Author TylerDurdenn Posted November 19, 2013 Author Posted November 19, 2013 Take it SLOW! You can't expect it to be just like it used to be before you broke up. Treat it like someone you just met and just had a first date with. Would you be expecting them to blow up your phone every day? Thank you, I needed that. Haydn - made me chuckle 1
mtnbiker3000 Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 She exactly used that exact word 'I'm looking forward to you trying to woo me' Don't know about you, but I'd rather 'woo' something I left in the toilet...
mammasita Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 You're chasing your tail.....and you're never going to catch it. Sure, some of us are sick of watching you do this, but that's what this board is here for. To help you figure it out. Now, I'm going to tell you again : STOP CHASING YOUR TAIL Until next time
NoLeafClover Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 Ok guys.. GUESS WHAT? She canceled bout friday..is acting strange again....u found out she was prob talking to someone else or spending time with someone else
Author TylerDurdenn Posted November 19, 2013 Author Posted November 19, 2013 She canceled bout friday..is acting strange again....u found out she was prob talking to someone else or spending time with someone else You got it right first time. I felt no hurt or disappointment as I was fully expecting it.
Sparta Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 Hey buddy do yourself a favor seriously and start listening to some of The suggestions on here. Most of us have gone through the same thing buddy and we have experienced the same pain and despair. Hey buddy you got a look at it for what it's worth she just played you. She has no respect for you dude at all that's what it boils down to. And once that happens only way you can gain that back (NC) no contact and get with another woman, and when she finds out That you're not under her evil spell anymore...LOL and you've moved on that's when she'll trip out a little bit maybe try to contact you. Women are evil. look what she's doing, she's purposely hurting you. you wouldn't even let friend treat you like that.
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