Johnson1 Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 After much pondering and consideration I've decided once again to change my mind and ask her out. I figure, what the he**, you only live once. Anyway, here's what I have in mind; Im going to go in this afternoon when I know it wont be busy. When I get to the bar we'll exchange hi's, etc. and I'll give her the tips I owe her. I'm going to give her $30. $20 for the first two nights and another $10 for the current nights tip. Then I'm gong to ask her if I had mentioned to her that I was looking to get in a band. At that point I'll tell her that I found one (which I really have, we start rehearsals next week) and that I probably wont be able to make it in anymore (which I probably wont be able to for real). Then I'm planning on saying, I know you probably get asked this 100 times a week hun, but I want to ask you anyway because this will probably be the last time I get to see you. Will you have dinner with me? How does that sound? A simple Ye or Ne will do, unless you have another suggestion. Thanks!
MidwestUSA Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 Well, you're determined, so go for it. Leave out the 'hun', tho. How much younger is she?
Author Johnson1 Posted November 18, 2013 Author Posted November 18, 2013 Well, you're determined, so go for it. Leave out the 'hun', tho. How much younger is she? Oy. Do I have to answer this question? LOL She has a 13 year old and an 11 year old, so I'm guessing she's about 32. I'm 49, but like I said, I dont look my age. I could pass for someone in their late 30's.
MidwestUSA Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 Oy. Do I have to answer this question? LOL She has a 13 year old and an 11 year old, so I'm guessing she's about 32. I'm 49, but like I said, I dont look my age. I could pass for someone in their late 30's. So, the reason I ask is this. It's all fine and dandy to look younger than you are (your own humble opinion) but.....IME, people of this age group view us (you and me, I've got a couple of years on you) as ANCIENT! Just don't want you to be disappointed, that's all. I sincerely wish you luck in today's dating world; I did it for eight years. All she can say is no, right?
d0nnivain Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 If you are a guy who uses hun & have called her that before, OK. Don't add it just for the ask. As long as you understand that part of being a good bartender is flirting with the customers so she may be doing this just because she wants a better tip, go ahead & ask but don't be surprised if she declines. Good luck with your new band.
Lansing Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 I think it is a bad idea to pay her for past due tips... just move on from that and go forward from it. Going to look weird you giving her $30 in one shot, like you are trying to buy her interest. I think you are overthinking this, trying to think what you will say, what she will say, how you will respond to what she says.. 2
Author Johnson1 Posted November 18, 2013 Author Posted November 18, 2013 So, the reason I ask is this. It's all fine and dandy to look younger than you are (your own humble opinion) but.....IME, people of this age group view us (you and me, I've got a couple of years on you) as ANCIENT! Just don't want you to be disappointed, that's all. I sincerely wish you luck in today's dating world; I did it for eight years. All she can say is no, right? It isn't my own humble opinion, but the opinion of other people whom I've met. I would never assume that of itself. I ain't ancient! LOL You'd be surprised. I'm tall 6' 3", dress nice, have a GQ kind of look, I can sing AND play drums, keyboards, guitar and bass, I'm very outgoing (at times) and have a playful sense of humor. I have girls as young as 21 checking me out. I wont sit here and brag, I'll just say I have confidence. :-) Thank you for wishing me luck. I appreciate that! :-)
Author Johnson1 Posted November 18, 2013 Author Posted November 18, 2013 If you are a guy who uses hun & have called her that before, OK. Don't add it just for the ask. As long as you understand that part of being a good bartender is flirting with the customers so she may be doing this just because she wants a better tip, go ahead & ask but don't be surprised if she declines. Good luck with your new band. Yes, I understand Its a hit or miss kinda thing, but I dont have anything else gong on at the moment so I figure, what the heck. Thank you. I hope it works out as well. This band is one of the top rock bands in the area.
Author Johnson1 Posted November 18, 2013 Author Posted November 18, 2013 I think it is a bad idea to pay her for past due tips... just move on from that and go forward from it. Going to look weird you giving her $30 in one shot, like you are trying to buy her interest.. Yea, I thought about that. I just dont want to seem cheap either. I'm not. I appreciate how hard she works and would let her know that.
MidwestUSA Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 It isn't my own humble opinion, but the opinion of other people whom I've met. I would never assume that of itself. I ain't ancient! It doesn't matter HOW good we look (I look pretty good for my age too, IMO), or how young we act, or how fit we are, once they here the actual number, we might as well have 'antique' stamped on our foreheads. Just sayin'.
Author Johnson1 Posted November 18, 2013 Author Posted November 18, 2013 It doesn't matter HOW good we look (I look pretty good for my age too, IMO), or how young we act, or how fit we are, once they here the actual number, we might as well have 'antique' stamped on our foreheads. Just sayin'. I won't necessarily have to announce my age to her. If she likes me the topic might not even come up, and if it does, I'll lie! LMAO.......jk
StanMusial Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 I think it is a bad idea to pay her for past due tips... just move on from that and go forward from it. Going to look weird you giving her $30 in one shot, like you are trying to buy her interest. I think you are overthinking this, trying to think what you will say, what she will say, how you will respond to what she says.. Good for you for wanting to be squared on the tip situation. That's commendable. My take on the barmaid/shot girl/waitress/counter girl in general is No, don't do it. You seem to be determined to try anyway so I'll just give this advice. Don't give her money then ask her out. Pay up on the tips then drop by at a later time and ask her out. Just stop in for a beer the next week or something. I am cringing inside at the thought of her standing there clutching a fistful of bills while you ask her out.
Author Johnson1 Posted November 18, 2013 Author Posted November 18, 2013 (edited) Good for you for wanting to be squared on the tip situation. That's commendable. My take on the barmaid/shot girl/waitress/counter girl in general is No, don't do it. You seem to be determined to try anyway so I'll just give this advice. Don't give her money then ask her out. Pay up on the tips then drop by at a later time and ask her out. Just stop in for a beer the next week or something. I am cringing inside at the thought of her standing there clutching a fistful of bills while you ask her out. LOL.......Thanks dude, maybe you're right. I'll just chill this time around. I do have a better chance the more she knows me. I have integrity when it comes to sh** like that. I'd still tip her good even if she did turn me down, but this way it doesn't look like I'm trying to buy her affection. Edited November 18, 2013 by Vocals5
Author Johnson1 Posted November 18, 2013 Author Posted November 18, 2013 Just out of curiousity, if I gave her her tips then kinda ignored her or flirted with the other barmaid would it have a positive affect, or would it push her further away?
Author Johnson1 Posted November 19, 2013 Author Posted November 19, 2013 You sound like a winner. Go with that method. Sarcasm? I'm just trying not to appear too over anxiuos.
truth_seeker Posted November 21, 2013 Posted November 21, 2013 My advice - stay the hell away. Just a nightmare. The odds of a full blown romance that will last years is nil. Fling at best. Hard to trust people in the restaurant/bar/club industry.
FloridaKeys Posted November 21, 2013 Posted November 21, 2013 Nah he's gotta do it and get it out of his system, IMO. That's what I do. I always ask them out, even if I think chances are slim because I never want to think 'what if'. Although, the rejection does hit me pretty hard and tends to last awhile, but that's just me... So, if he wants to be like Jagger he's gotta act like Jagger.
Axel Foley Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 As someone who claims to be so confident, you actually appear not to be. With topic at hand. I've work the bar industry for 10+ years. I would say you already shot yourself in the foot by not tipping twice. You are known as the cheap bastard. Please, don't frequent bars with this modus operandi, especially if you're trying to win over the staff. I still say go for it because I believe in winning. but man you're throwing one heck of a hail mary. good luck elway. 1
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