ByMyself01 Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 Since the breakup, which was a few days ago, I started meeting new guys online and one of them is pretty consistent with me and wants to move things forward, but the problem is, I don't think I'm ready to give him the full focus he needs because I am still messed up about this break up. I know I shouldn't put my life on hold for my ex, but it's not mainly about him, it's about getting over him first, then having the strength to focus on someone else. So, should I stop talking to this guy, tell him the truth, or keep him to the side until I can hash out my emotions. I still hurt everyday. When I go to sleep, I feel a little better because I know when I'm sleep, I can't feel pain. However, when I woke up in the mornings, I feel horrible because I know it's another full day to feel horrible and lonely. What should I do?
madjac74 Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 Yeah its only been a few days! Explain this to the guy that you only need someone to talk to and hangout with. A better option would be to stay away from dating for awhile and just spend time with friends and family and just enjoy time for yourself
soccerrprp Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 [quote=ByMyselI know I shouldn't put my life on hold for my ex, but it's not mainly about him, it's about getting over him first, then having the strength to focus on someone else. You shouldn't be dating if you are not available for a relationship as others may desire. Take a break, so that others are not rebounds or misled.
Author ByMyself01 Posted November 18, 2013 Author Posted November 18, 2013 You shouldn't be dating if you are not available for a relationship as others may desire. Take a break, so that others are not rebounds or misled. And the SAD part about it is that this guy is from the same city my ex is from and purposefully chose him because of it. The way he talks to me and uses certain words reminds me of the way my ex talked to me and it's kind of like a gray area. I love it, but I hate it. I love it, because I love the choice of words and the way he talks and I hate it because it reminds me of my ex.
Never Again Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 And the SAD part about it is that this guy is from the same city my ex is from and purposefully chose him because of it. The way he talks to me and uses certain words reminds me of the way my ex talked to me and it's kind of like a gray area. I love it, but I hate it. I love it, because I love the choice of words and the way he talks and I hate it because it reminds me of my ex. This should be a strong sign to you that you're not ready for this. 1
MidwestUSA Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 And the SAD part about it is that this guy is from the same city my ex is from and purposefully chose him because of it. The way he talks to me and uses certain words reminds me of the way my ex talked to me and it's kind of like a gray area. I love it, but I hate it. I love it, because I love the choice of words and the way he talks and I hate it because it reminds me of my ex. Think about how unfair this is to this guy! It's only been a few days; way too soon. Take care of yourself!
carhill Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 What should I do? Spend quality time with family and friends during the upcoming holiday period and re-examine your feelings regarding dating after that point. A couple months of alone time, meaning time away from a romantic relationship/prospect, is but a blip on the timeline of life and IMO it'll do you good.
Author ByMyself01 Posted November 18, 2013 Author Posted November 18, 2013 This should be a strong sign to you that you're not ready for this. Yeah it's true but what scares me is if I let everyone go, it may slow down my progress and it bothers me of loneliness. Not to mention, my ex has someone and I don't. It stirs up a sense of jealousy in me. I want all the loving he used to give me that he is now giving her.
Never Again Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 Yeah it's true but what scares me is if I let everyone go, it may slow down my progress and it bothers me of loneliness. Not to mention, my ex has someone and I don't. It stirs up a sense of jealousy in me. I want all the loving he used to give me that he is now giving her. I understand. But you need to embrace that fear and jealousy. Own it, and get over it. Loneliness is a crappy reason to start seeing someone new, and jealousy is just as bad. You're going through a classic "rebound relationship" stage - you want what HE gave you, and you'll accelerate your new "relationship" too quickly and burn out any potential it could have. You need to learn to be happy while alone.
Author ByMyself01 Posted November 18, 2013 Author Posted November 18, 2013 I understand. But you need to embrace that fear and jealousy. Own it, and get over it. Loneliness is a crappy reason to start seeing someone new, and jealousy is just as bad. You're going through a classic "rebound relationship" stage - you want what HE gave you, and you'll accelerate your new "relationship" too quickly and burn out any potential it could have. You need to learn to be happy while alone. I finally cracked down and told the new guy about what's going on. Here's what I told him: "U were right, Im still not over my ex I dnt want to put u through it I need 2 work on myself until I can get over it & put my full attention on someone"
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